Two points here - first, it's nearly impossible to watch a sporting event anymore without having these ads on during the commercial breaks, meaning that parents everywhere are not only being forced to explain the 'birds and the bees' way earlier than they'd like to, but they also have to explain the problems the birds and bees face, something they should never be expected to do.

Secondly, how many elderly couples not only like to bathe in separate bathtubs at the same time, but like to do so in bathtubs that are stationed out in their backyards? There's a point where the scenarios in the commercials become even more disturbing than the commercials themselves.

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We're going to start hitting up recitations a lot more frequently, so if you have a question you'd like to have answered, send it along to danteshepherd@gmail.com, and we'll try to fit you in.