Surviving the World

A Photocomic Education by Dante Shepherd

Archive

Lesson #2310 - Colorful Traditions . . . . . Cyber Monday, When We All Get Bionic Eye Implants
Lesson #2309 - Turkey Tales . . . . . Poultrygeist, If You Will
Lesson #2308 - Curveballs . . . . . Knuckleballs To Get You To Knuckle Under, Change-ups To See If You Can Handle A Change Of Pace, Cutters Because It's Fun To Throw Knives At People
Lesson #2307 - Perspective, Or Lack Thereof . . . . . Can't Imagine Only Looking And Seeing The Top. What A Precarious Position To Put Yourself In
Lesson #2306 - Overheard . . . . . This Feels Like A Series In The Making
Lesson #2305 - House Plants . . . . . Cat, 15, Plants, 0
Lesson #2304 - Rivalry Games . . . . . I Feel Like I Made A Comic Exactly Like This Before, Probably Not A Good Sign
Lesson #2303 - Emperors . . . . . I Know What Two You Picked And Yes I Agree You're Hilarious, Just Oh So Hilarious
Lesson #2302 - Insanity, Of Sorts . . . . . Also Searching For The Meaning Of Life. And Coding. Sometimes.
Lesson #2301 - The States, Part VI . . . . . Also There's A Disturbing Number Of Waffles Down Here

Lesson #2300 - Authority . . . . . "Who Gave Me This And Why, It Doesn't Make Any Sense And I Barely Know What To With It"
Lesson #2299 - Drunk . . . . . I'm Not Actually Drunk Making This, I'm Just Trying To Find A Balance Between Making Something Funny And Being How Creeped Out I Am Listening To This Mansion Story
Lesson #2298 - Fears . . . . . I'm Also Highly Unnerved By Spiral Staircases, Although That May Be Something Else At Work
Lesson #2297 - Hotel Rooms . . . . . Exfoliating On A New Level
Lesson #2296 - Special Ingredients . . . . . Why Is This Pot Roast Making Me Feel Even More Hungry
Lesson #2295 - Limitations . . . . . Screw You, Physics, What Have You Ever Done For Me Besides Help Me Survive
Lesson #2294 - Shooting For The Stars . . . . . Federate Before You Launch War On The Zorgons
Lesson #2293 - Credibility . . . . . No, Really, I Swear It
Lesson #2292 - Brain Biology . . . . . Just Stab Me With An Icepick Already
Lesson #2291 - Food Composition . . . . . I Don't Know Who To Trust Anymore

Lesson #2290 - Cat Schemes . . . . . IT WASN'T ME, I SWEAR IT
Lesson #2289 - Butterflies . . . . . OH GOD THEY'RE TRYING TO MIGRATE
Lesson #2288 - Interesting . . . . . Stupid Apocryphal Chinese Curse, You're To Blame For My Cable Channels?
Lesson #2287 - Hanged Men . . . . . I'd Laugh But I'm Struggling To Breathe
Lesson #2286 - Voting Dilemma . . . . . My Brain Is Convinced You Spell Dilemma With An N, I Have No Idea Why
Lesson #2285 - Fire Drills . . . . . Stupid Protection System, You Have Ulterior Motives, Don't You
Lesson #2284 - Daylight Savings . . . . . What's The Return On Investment For Daylight? What's The Interest Rate At These Days?
Lesson #2283 - Holiday Wars . . . . . The End Of The Year Seems Highly Desirable For Holidays, These Days Must Have Oil, Let Me Drill Into The Calendar And See
Lesson #2282 - Haunted . . . . . Ghosts, Marching About Our Memories, Memories Themselves
Lesson #2281 - Truly Haunted . . . . . Horrors Of The Worst Kind

Lesson #2280 - Modern Witches . . . . . Sandwichcraft Is Delicious
Lesson #2279 - Halloween Chants . . . . . Smell My Feet, Get Your Nose Really In There Between The Toes, I Left A Lot Of Nice Fuzz For You, Give Me Something Good To Eat
Lesson #2278 - Halloween Haters . . . . . I Make Sure The Newts Get A Love Potion In Exchange For Their Vision, Though, So They've Got That Going For Them, Which Is Nice
Lesson #2277 - Generating Horror . . . . . Geese ARE Mean, Though
Lesson #2276 - Ghost Particles . . . . . Ghost Model Of The Atom, As Explained By Ghost Scientists
Lesson #2275 - Abstract Halloween Costumes, Part VI . . . . . So Abstract You're Never Actually At The Party
Lesson #2274 - Frogs . . . . . Harry Potter Was A Cloakhead
Lesson #2273 - Clouds . . . . . Canaries (And Other Birds) (And Planes) In The Cloud Mines
Lesson #2272 - New Scientists, Part IV . . . . . And Conservation Of Energy? Hah!
Lesson #2271 - Why . . . . . "Why" "Well, Because The Knee Bones IS Connected To The Thigh Bone" "Why" "Well, Because The Thigh Bone IS Connected To The Hip Bone"

Lesson #2270 - Beer Brewing . . . . . Pour Me Another, Barkeep, What The Hell
Lesson #2269 - Ebola . . . . . I Look Forward To The False Interpretation Of This Comic That Ebola Will Lead To The X-Men
Lesson #2268 - Tough Dads . . . . . My Dad Has Been Known To Smite A Few Dreams, I Guess, But Those Kids Were Going To Fail That Math Class Anyway
Lesson #2267 - Crosshatch . . . . . Also Known As A Punch Mark Apparently? I Only Get Bruises On My Skin, Perhaps I Should See A Doctor
Lesson #2266 - Two Sides . . . . . One Conclusion, Not Necessarily The Same Conclusion
Lesson #2265 - Apropos . . . . . I Wish People Would Stop Dropping Their Side In Disgust And Leave Me To Carry It On My Own, Of Course
Lesson #2264 - Warmth . . . . . That's What I Get For Mooning The Fire
Lesson #2263 - Hatchets . . . . . Careful, I Have To Take My Skin Outside To Chop Some Wood
Lesson #2262 - Trees In Autumn . . . . . And Then They're Naked Because They're Exhibitionists At Heart
Lesson #2261 - Success . . . . . You Can Make Your Own Luck But It's Easier If It Comes Along And Gives Itself To You

Lesson #2260 - Mono . . . . . Circle Circle Rhombus Rhombus Now There's No One Who Would Want Us
Lesson #2259 - Results of Stress . . . . . The Skin's Too Cowardly To Fight Stress, It's Just Yellow, Oh Wait That's Jaundice
Lesson #2258 - Special Items . . . . . There's Enough Wounds To Go Around, Just Go Get A Knife So We Can Share
Lesson #2257 - Methods . . . . . Was There Proper Funding For This Set Of Data?
Lesson #2256 - Good Teleporters . . . . . Pages Of Teenage Angst Suddenly Allowing For An Instantaneous Trip Across The Stars
Lesson #2255 - Rooting Interests . . . . . Based On My Daughter Trying To Decide Between Giants And The Red Team
Lesson #2254 - Trespassing . . . . . The Big Nails, Show Me The Big Nails
Lesson #2253 - Perspectives . . . . . Ghosts Wouldn't Be So Bad If They Would Stop Rattling My Chains So Much
Lesson #2252 - Empathy . . . . . Why Is There So Much Blood Why Why Why
Lesson #2251 - Life Acrobatics . . . . . Hence "Wearing Thin" Is Really A Reference To Being A Net, Did You Know That, No, Well Now You Know Etymology, Good For You

Lesson #2250 - Glorious Coffee . . . . . Glory Glory Hallelujah
Lesson #2249 - Young Professionals, Part II . . . . . Michaelangelo Would Have Used Playdoh If It Was An Option
Lesson #2248 - Naps . . . . . Although, Now, I Could Use One
Lesson #2247 - Fruit . . . . . Yes, I'll Order The Apple Crisp For Dessert, No, Waiter, Stop Giving Me That Look
Lesson #2246 - Back In The Day And Today . . . . . Backs In The Day, A Coffee Table Picture Book Of Hairy Backs Throughout History
Lesson #2245 - Scientific Method . . . . . Priorities, Priorities, Schmiorities
Lesson #2244 - Minimal Time . . . . . At Least I Didn't Strangle Anyone Today
Lesson #2243 - Chef's Special . . . . . "Special"
Lesson #2242 - Revenge . . . . . Revenge Is A Thing Of Yogurt
Lesson #2241 - Beers . . . . . Barkeep, Another Round, Oh, I See, I'm In My Own Home, Hmmmm, Make That Two, Then
Lesson #2240 - Outcomes . . . . . A Bostonian Pirate Is Known To Say AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Lesson #2239 - Outcomes . . . . . Oh Dear We Have Been Lit Aflame By The Smoldering Wreckage, Too, Well, Hopefully We Will Still Learn Something From AHHHHHHH I'M ON FIRE
Lesson #2238 - Recipes . . . . . I'm Making Meatloaf, Pass Me The Octopus
Lesson #2237 - Hearts . . . . . No Sleeveless Shirts Allowed
Lesson #2236 - Sign Language, Part III . . . . . I Don't Question, I Just Signal Back, Yes, I'll Get Off The Dance Floor And Leave You Alone Now
Lesson #2235 - Walking In Groups . . . . . Scorn A Moving Wall That Is Advancing On You, Sure, That Seems Likely When You're Drunk, But Then Most Probabilities Are Out Of Whack When You're Drunk
Lesson #2234 - Young Professionals, Part I . . . . . I Really Hope I Can Get In On The Ground Floor Of This Building
Lesson #2233 - Paper . . . . . Like Trees Are Good For Anything, Anyway
Lesson #2232 - Secrets . . . . . You Know What They Say, Two People Can Keep Them If One Of Them Is A Potato
Lesson #2231 - Disgusting Excuses . . . . . And It's Still Not Speaking To Me, Alas

Lesson #2230 - Feminists . . . . . What A Pity, Tsk Tsk, Oh Well, Someone Make Me A Sandwich
Lesson #2229 - Answering Why . . . . . Why, Yes, I Will Embrace This Stereotype
Lesson #2228 - Cool Cars . . . . . Or At Least I Need To Hook Up A Giant Ladder And Siren To My Pickup Truck, That Seems Doable
Lesson #2227 - Weightlifting . . . . . A Shared Mantra, Perhaps
Lesson #2226 - Apples . . . . . How Do I Like Them Apples? I Do Not, I Do Not Like Them Apples, Sam-I-Trapples
Lesson #2225 - Low-Fat . . . . . Yeah, This Whole Box Can Totally Fit In My Gullet
Lesson #2224 - Career Enjoyment . . . . . I Used To Hug Students' Skulls To Try To Let My Joy Absorb Them Into My Body But The Department Asked Me To Stop Doing That
Lesson #2223 - Learning . . . . . Let's Ignore That Everything Including Us Has Been Burnt To A Crisp, What Did You Learn From This Experience?
Lesson #2222 - Reactions . . . . . People Are The Worst
Lesson #2221 - Barbecues . . . . . Don't Bring Kids And You Can Annex Territory, Bring Kids And You're Essentially Colonizing Parts Of The Lawn

Lesson #2220 - Potato Salad . . . . . Potato Salad Is The Best Salad, And The Exception That You CAN Make Friends With Salad
Lesson #2219 - Power Lines . . . . . Human Squirrels, A Bad TMNT Spin-Off
Lesson #2218 - School, Part II . . . . . Wait A Minute, HEY, STUDENTS, Get Out Of There
Lesson #2217 - School, Part I . . . . . College Students Also Drinking To Celebrate, For That Matter
Lesson #2216 - Guns, Part II . . . . . I Don't Think This One Will Make People Happy Either, Oh Well
Lesson #2215 - Peanuts . . . . . Get Your Red Hot Legumes Here
Lesson #2214 - Wastewater . . . . . Have A Lovely Sunday
Lesson #2213 - Overreactions . . . . . Something Like That, Maybe, I Don't Know
Lesson #2212 - Bad Vegetables . . . . . On An Accidental Vegetable Kick, Apparently
Lesson #2211 - Giant Vegetables . . . . . I Don't Think Monty Python Ever Covered This In Their Self-Defense Class On Fruits, Unfortunately

Lesson #2210 - Garbage . . . . . We Are Truly Monstrous Creatures
Lesson #2209 - Construction . . . . . It's Like The Ark, DON'T LOOK, YOUR FACE WILL MELT
Lesson #2208 - Justification . . . . . Everyone's A Little Crazy, It Seems, Unfortunately.
Lesson #2207 - New Pets . . . . . Where Is He Now? He's Taking A Nice Warm Bath. Pinchy. PINCHY!
Lesson #2206 - Plant Sagas . . . . . I Admit My Weirdness
Lesson #2205 - French . . . . . Hoh Hoh Hoh
Lesson #2204 - Reality . . . . . Horrified, And Somewhat Ashamed That I Am So Horrified
Lesson #2203 - Life Maps . . . . . Rest In Peace, Way Too Many
Lesson #2202 - Oysters . . . . . Biology Is Weird
Lesson #2201 - Bread . . . . . Things I've Learned About Somehow, Someway

Lesson #2200 - Travels . . . . . Now We're Just Getting Into The Stupid Lesson Numbers, I Mean, 2200 Isn't Even A Real Number. You Realize We're Less Than A Year From 2500? This Is Just Getting Ridiculous
Lesson #2199 - Seasons . . . . . Wanted A More Bizarre Animal For Autumn, But Squirrels Fit In With A Harvest Motif, And That's What Martha Recommended I Go With, And Who Am I To Go Against Martha
Lesson #2198 - College Education . . . . . Much More Fun To Play This Game With Intangible Concepts Than The Somewhat Sexist Way, I Think, But Maybe That's Just Me
Lesson #2197 - War Tactics . . . . . Generals Always Too Happy To Bring Home The Bacon
Lesson #2196 - Giraffes . . . . . You Can't Answer THAT, Huh? Got You, Nerd
Lesson #2195 - Some Days . . . . . Hold On, Hold On, Give Me A Week, I'll Get This
Lesson #2194 - Bad Ideas . . . . . I Tried To Go Back And Figure Out Where This One Fell Apart, But I Got Bored Trying To Do So, So Here You Go With What's Here
Lesson #2193 - Plant Fertilization . . . . . Where Does The Stamen Go
Lesson #2192 - Hope . . . . . The Worst And Best And Worst Emotion
Lesson #2191 - Daily Science . . . . . I'm Just Doing Chemical Science, I Swear, Officer, Wink Wink Nudge Nudge

Lesson #2190 - Sports . . . . . Sigh. Heh.
Lesson #2189 - Every Summer . . . . . Drop The Cuke. I Mean, Don't Grow Anymore! That's All I Meant!
Lesson #2188 - Great Literature, Part I . . . . . Certain Supposed Greats Will Not Be A Part Of This Series, But One Reader Criticized Me On Twitter Last Night For Saying That I Hated A Book, So I Will Avoid From Further Describing Any Of These Supposed Greats Because I Would Not Want To Risk Offending Or Upsetting Anyone By Saying That I Don't Like A Book, Because Obviously We Are Not Allowed To Mention That We Dislike Anything Anymore These Days, You Know
Lesson #2187 - Rome . . . . . Sayings Are Weird
Lesson #2186 - Role Models . . . . . Sometimes I Sense Him Just Floating Around Me And I Can Channel Him Through Myself, It's A Little Like Getting High And Being Possessed Without The Drugs Or Demons
Lesson #2185 - Forever . . . . . I'm Not Rich Enough To Crystallize My Shame, It Just Floats Around In The Ether
Lesson #2184 - Non-Superpowers . . . . . My Spandexed Brain Likes To Show A Lot Of Wrinkles Because It Needs To Be Objectified, Or So The Creator Tells Me
Lesson #2183 - Great Scientists, Part II . . . . . I'm Thoughts, You're Thoughts, We're All Thoughts, And Therefore We Am, Or Something
Lesson #2182 - Sand . . . . . Careful Of The Riptide, You Never Expect It In Your Backyard
Lesson #2181 - Speech . . . . . I Support Your Right To Say Asshole And Thus Be An Asshole, Good Sir

Lesson #2180 - Great Scientists, Part I . . . . . C'Mere, I've Got Something I Want To Show You, That's Right, Close The Door, And Look! Amazing! Why Are You Disappointed?
Lesson #2179 - Definitions, Part XXIV . . . . . My Child Is Doomed
Lesson #2178 - Love Is Easy . . . . . Never Go To Bed Angry That A Cat Is Already In Your Spot
Lesson #2177 - Brains . . . . . Your Brain Needs An Intervention With Itself, Man
Lesson #2176 - Dangerous Vegetables . . . . . Vegetables Are Weapons Of Mass Destruction, Don't Let Governments Drop The Cuke
Lesson #2175 - Spirits . . . . . You've Heard Of Soul Food, Why Not Spirit Liquids
Lesson #2174 - Daily Ghosts . . . . . "Ghost In The Synapse", There's A Good Indie Movie Title In There Somewhere
Lesson #2173 - Piano Bars . . . . . Billy Joel Is Secretly An Evil Druid And Pianos Are His Hellmouth, Or Something. Either That Or "Piano Man" Is One Long Cry For Help And For An Exorcism
Lesson #2172 - Athletic Cruelty . . . . . Don't Even Get Me Started On The Production Of Toothbrushes
Lesson #2171 - Poor Adjectives . . . . . Stop It Already

Lesson #2170 - Time Traveling, Part V . . . . . Onwards In Whichever Direction Time Takes Us
Lesson #2169 - Time Traveling, Part IV . . . . . Younger Self, Or Hitler? Younger Self, Or Hitler?
Lesson #2168 - Time Traveling, Part III . . . . . Oops
Lesson #2167 - Time Traveling, Part II . . . . . There's An Apparent Limit On How Far Back You Personally Can Go, I Guess
Lesson #2166 - Time Traveling, Part I . . . . . What A Journey From The Past It Has Been, My Main Complaint With This Time Traveling Device They Call The Human Body Is That It Just Takes So Long To Get From Point A To Point B
Lesson #2165 - Butts . . . . . Guess What
Lesson #2164 - Driving . . . . . Remember, One Pedal For Each Foot!
Lesson #2163 - Fireworks, Part III . . . . . Some Fireworks Are Like Those Trick Candles, They Never Go Out, Just Keep Spiraling On And On
Lesson #2162 - Brains . . . . . Zombies Are Known To Eat One Hundred Percent Of Brains
Lesson #2161 - Feelings . . . . . Once More, With Feeling, GAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Lesson #2160 - Freedom . . . . . In Soviet Russia, Freedom Freedoms YOU!
Lesson #2159 - Perspectives . . . . . Good Times AHHHHHHHHH Those Were Good Times
Lesson #2158 - Rational Explanations of Irrational Phobias, Part XII . . . . . And Don't Even Get Me Started On Jelly
Lesson #2157 - Goons . . . . . Friendly But Lovable Goons, Just Don't Trust Them To Do Your Bidding Perfectly
Lesson #2156 - Science and Kids . . . . . Lesions Are Usually A Sign
Lesson #2155 - Luck, Elsewhere . . . . . Never Mind Lizard People, We Know What Their Luck Symbol Is
Lesson #2154 - Subtlety . . . . . Do Your Drinks Like To Have A Go? Know What I Mean Know What I Mean Wink Wink Nudge Nudge Say No More Say No More
Lesson #2153 - Laws . . . . . The Other Neighbors Have A Pool But They Can Keep That, That's Too Much Work
Lesson #2152 - Tickling . . . . . MOO-HAH-HAH
Lesson #2151 - Coffee Names . . . . . Decaf Horace, Horace Cake

Lesson #2150 - Apples . . . . . AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON PINEAPPLES
Lesson #2149 - Guns . . . . . How Many Back Burners Are There?
Lesson #2148 - Body Modification . . . . . In Your Face, Parents Oh Wait I Am One Now This Is What I'm Going To Have To Deal With, Huh, Nuts
Lesson #2147 - Diseases . . . . . Oh Man NOT AGAIN
Lesson #2146 - Adventures . . . . . I've Never Had To Explain To theSwede Why I Was Chasing The Cats With An Axe, Either. Another Adventure!
Lesson #2145 - Surviving The World Cup . . . . . AND THE PENGUINS WIN! YOU COULD NOT WRITE A SCRIPT LIKE THIS
Lesson #2144 - Paternal Instincts . . . . . So Many Roles To Play, All For You
Lesson #2143 - Barbecue . . . . . "Beer Isn't A Food" "Shut Up, You"
Lesson #2142 - Babies . . . . . "How Good Are You At Crawling In A Straight Line, Kid?"
Lesson #2141 - World Cup Ineptitude . . . . . Fingers, Toes, Eyes And Tongue Crossed

Lesson #2140 - Bunnies . . . . . What's With All Those Space Carrots, What Does It Need Such Good Eyesight For Anyway
Lesson #2139 - Human Geology . . . . . New Meaning To Saying Someone Got Stoned, Too
Lesson #2138 - Cheeses . . . . . Information Is Not Always A Good Thing
Lesson #2137 - Other Gospels . . . . . Come Follow Me As We Stumble As One Into This Wall Here And Pass Out
Lesson #2136 - Breakfast Options . . . . . I Need To Stay Out Of The Kitchen
Lesson #2135 - Questionable Observances . . . . . Who In Hark Gets The Power To Make Such Declarations, Anyway? Is It Congress? It's Congress, Isn't It? This Explains A Lot
Lesson #2134 - Man Vs. Nature . . . . . YOU'RE NEXT, CLOUDS!
Lesson #2133 - Lesser-Known Gods, Part III . . . . . If You're Interested, Read Up On The Guy Who Went Undercover To Find Out About The Priests' Actions
Lesson #2132 - Lesser-Known Gods, Part II . . . . . Do The Norse Gods Like Mustard? Just Thinking That They'd Probably Eat A Lot Of Hot Dogs In Valhalla
Lesson #2131 - Lesser-Known Gods, Part I . . . . . Excuse Me Sir, I Saw You Didn't Mix Water Into Your Wine Glass, So I'm Sorry, But We Don't Serve Barbarians Here, I'm Afraid You'll Have To Leave, Yes, Sir, I Can See You're Wearing A Black Tie But We Have Our Standards, Now Out, Out With You, Out Out Out

Lesson #2130 - Complete Attire . . . . . The Point Is, I Shouldn't HAVE To Be Walking Next To A Child To Get Away With Wearing The Cape
Lesson #2129 - Anniversary, Part VI . . . . . I'm Not Sure We Can Call This STW-Thing Just A Phase I'm Going Through Anymore
Lesson #2128 - Caring About Sports . . . . . Or Movies, Or Television, Or Serial Cave Paintings, Or Whatever
Lesson #2127 - Bravery . . . . . Must Just Get Sucked Out Of You As You Keep Moving Up In The World, Like They Attach Lampreys Or Something
Student Presentation #21 - Job Satisfaction . . . . .
Student Presentation #20 - Breastfeeding . . . . .
Student Presentation #19 - College Time . . . . .
Lesson #2126 - Alcoholic Science . . . . . Before You Say, "No One Would Ever Use This", Remember, Powdered Coffee And Powdered Milk Exist, Too, And Even If They're Terrible, There's Still Someone Who Uses It
Lesson #2125 - Inequality . . . . . A Solution To All The World's Problems And A Boon To All The Terrible Fashion Styles Out There
Lesson #2124 - Fortune Telling . . . . . Well, This Parrot Appears To Have Been Nailed To The Bar Inside Its Cage, It Appears You Are About To Be Bleeding Demised And No More
Lesson #2123 - Cat Activity . . . . . Little Cats, Little Cats Of Horror, Bop-Sh-Bat, Little Cats Of Terror, No, Oh, Oh, No-Oh
Lesson #2122 - Love Lines and Sinkers . . . . . What Type Of Fish Is Your Significant Other Into? Clearly I'm Into Swedish, That Just Seems Obvious
Lesson #2121 - Gay Marriage Effects . . . . . When Gays Were Called Fruit With Derogatory Intent, Which Fruit Was Being Implied? A Banana? An Apple? A Grapefruit? I'm Not Exactly Sure How Being Compared To A Grapefruit Is Derogatory, Unless It Means That It Is Really Obnoxious And Annoying To Peel The Skin From Your Body And Inside You Have A Delightful Sour Flavor

Lesson #2120 - Swans . . . . . Man, They Keep Bringing Swans Into King Edward's Castle, He Must Really Want To Take Care Of The Swans In Person
Lesson #2119 - Yardwork, Part II . . . . . Listen Closely, You Hear The Plants Scream
Lesson #2118 - Ghosts, Part II . . . . . Sometimes I Shout Boo While In The Bathroom Just To Press The Point, theSwede Thinks I'm Very Strange
Lesson #2117 - Horses . . . . . Horse Out Of Office?
Lesson #2116 - Good Parenting . . . . . That Elephant Thing Has Shaved Minutes Off My Life
Lesson #2115 - Fish . . . . . Oh, No, I Always Say "Blub Blub" Right Before Kissing, I Don't Know Why, It's Just What I Do
Lesson #2114 - Biblical Animals . . . . . Ass Is Okay To Say In Public, It's Mentioned In The Bible A Lot
Lesson #2113 - Coffee . . . . . I'll Take A 5th Avenue Coffee, Please, And No, I Don't Mean One From 5th Avenue
Lesson #2112 - Mothers Know Best . . . . . Some Call It A Fetish, Some Call It Friday Night
Lesson #2111 - Toddlers . . . . . Anyway, I'm Off To Build Another Block Tower

Lesson #2110 - Common Idiocy . . . . . Embrace That Village Idiot That We Each Have Roaming About In Our Heads, Just Don't Let It Take Over
Lesson #2109 - Divergent Paths . . . . . And That's Another One That The Bears Have . . . Frosted (YEAHHHHHHH)
Lesson #2108 - Pizza Joints . . . . . The Hair Pizza? Actually, That's DEFINITELY Terrible
Lesson #2107 - Mowing . . . . . Take That, Grass! And That! And That And That And That And That!
Lesson #2106 - The Cosmos . . . . . Shoot For The Moon, If You Miss, WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Lesson #2105 - Manufacturing Creativity . . . . . The Soap Is Right There, But I Can Never Reach It, No Matter How Much I Try, What Kind Of Infernal Shower Is This
Lesson #2104 - Definitions, Part XXIII . . . . . Also A Role On Some Pundit Shows That The Producers Need To Fill
Lesson #2103 - Education For Seniors . . . . . What's On The Other Side Of Your Transition? Oh? It's Just One Big Party? Okay Then. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Lesson #2102 - Education For Juniors . . . . . Hey, If You Summit Every Peak, Great For You, That Just Isn't Always The Necessary Path, Plus That's How You Run Into Yetis
Lesson #2101 - Education For Sophomores . . . . . Anyone Claiming A Food Allergy At The Knowledge Buffet Is A Little Lazy. C'mon, Get Those Neuron Teeth A-Chompin'!

Lesson #2100 - Education For Freshmen . . . . . Who Needs To Be Crowned In Gold When Paper Mache Is At The Ready
Lesson #2099 - Shower Thoughts . . . . . How Does Soap Get In Your Brain? Hey, If You're Not Awake Enough, It's Actually Very Easy
Lesson #2098 - Yardwork . . . . . "Whyyyyyy", The Voice Rattled From Inside The Leaf Bag. "Whyyyyyyyyy"
Lesson #2097 - Party Guests . . . . . No, I'm Not Sure How I Got The Invitation, Either
Lesson #2096 - New Cocktails . . . . . An Ocean Full Of Terrible Cocktail Ideas And Wait We Should Mix Sea Water Into This!
Lesson #2095 - The Pursuit . . . . . Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Lesson #2094 - Hard Exams . . . . . 6th Dimension, Well, Now You Need To Account For Other Physics
Lesson #2093 - Philosophy . . . . . Let's Just All Embrace The Happy That Is The Tao Of Dog
Lesson #2092 - Next Steps . . . . . May You Best Every Personal Record, And Go About Discovering What Other PRs You Can Set
Lesson #2091 - Other Easters . . . . . Some Have Ham, Some Have Whatever You Catch And Eat It Raw

Lesson #2090 - Jesus . . . . . It Has A Very Earthy Aroma, And I Detect Notes Of Hemoglobin, I Think?
Lesson #2089 - Children's Entertainment . . . . . In My Childhood Self's Defense, The Ninja Turtles Were Awesome
Lesson #2088 - Love . . .? . . . . . Not From Personal Experience, Of Course, Ahem, I Mean, Ahem
Lesson #2087 - Sleeping . . . . . Yargle, Or Something
Lesson #2086 - Government and You . . . . . Democratic Banana Republic: Actually, Pretty Close To Democratic Feudalism
Lesson #2085 - Nonsense, Part II . . . . . Oh, I'm Not Speaking Gibberish Or Having A Stroke, I'm Embracing Language. What Do You Have Against Language? You Monster
Lesson #2084 - Attention . . . . . BOW DOWN BEFORE ME No Wait Never Mind Look Away
Lesson #2083 - Vegetables . . . . . Lettuce Have A Pretty Good Head About Them, Too
Lesson #2082 - Barbecues . . . . . Many Of These Also Work Well For A Butcher Shop, Too
Lesson #2081 - Equality, Apparently . . . . . It's The Uphill Climb That's The Effort, It's Easy To Ride Downhill

Lesson #2080 - You Are Special . . . . . Oops
Lesson #2079 - Rooting For The Home Team . . . . . College Sports, The Great Ethical Mess, Unless You Don't Have A Pro Team Nearby To Support In Which Case WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Lesson #2078 - Life Goals . . . . . Pass The Cake? Hurray, Another Life Goal Accomplished!
Lesson #2077 - Relatives . . . . . Making Your Family Tree Strong And Branched And Uprooted
Lesson #2076 - Pet Affinities . . . . . "My Parents Got So Frustrated That I Couldn't Decide That They Just Thrust An Iguana Into My Arms, I Never Forgave Them"
Lesson #2075 - Paradoxes . . . . . Did I List These Partly Just To Piss Off People Who Recognize Them As Not Paradoxes? I Can Neither Confirm Nor Deny. Hey, Another Paradox!
Lesson #2074 - Rock Paper Scissors . . . . . Two Rocks May Beat A Paper, Though; Multicomponent Rules Are A Little Bit Trickier
Lesson #2073 - Infinite Loves . . . . . I'll Try Not To Break Your Heart Like I Already Have An Infinite Number Of Times, Although When You Put It That Way, I Probably Should Just Go Away
Lesson #2072 - Pranks . . . . . Psychological Torture Is Far More Fun
Lesson #2071 - Thanks . . . . . Doofy Smiles All Around

Guest Lecture #30 - Dante's Sister
Lesson #2070 - The States, Part V . . . . . Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Lesson #2069 - Flying . . . . . The Pilot Is The Lord Of The Flying, In More Ways Than One
Lesson #2068 - The Near Future . . . . . And Around And Around And Around We Go
Lesson #2067 - Idiocy, Part II . . . . . If You Can't Write A Book On The Subject, You Probably Have Amnesia
Lesson #2066 - Solving Problems . . . . . Yes, Problems ARE Difficult Until You Learn How To Solve Them, Funny How That Works
Lesson #2065 - Science Fiction . . . . . Heeeeeeeere, Cyborgs Cyborgs Cyborgs
Lesson #2064 - Religious Humor . . . . . Jesus And A Rabbi Walk Into A Bar, The Bar Only Has Water, Jesus Says "Don't Worry, I Got This"
Lesson #2063 - Crazy Exes . . . . . Both Krampus And Your Crazy Ex, Both Disturbingly Horny
Lesson #2062 - Legacies . . . . . Anyway, Anyone Up For Hanging Out? Offer Is Open To Everyone
Lesson #2061 - Fallacies (Bracket Week VI) . . . . . Q.E.D. Or Probably Not

Lesson #2060 - Body Image (Bracket Week VI) . . . . . And I Don't Fit Into That Sexy Little Black Number, Either, No Matter How Much I Try
Lesson #2059 - Time (Bracket Week VI) . . . . . All A Matter Of Perspective, I Guess, That And Jiggawatts
Lesson #2058 - Irish History (Bracket Week VI) . . . . . Asking For It For Posting This One, Probably
Lesson #2057 - Seasons . . . . . House Bark Is Braced For Cold At All Times
Lesson #2056 - Posing . . . . . "Well, Hello There". (In A Side Note, Those Are Three Of The Funniest Words In Language When Said To Anything With The Right Attitude)
Lesson #2055 (Recitation #117) - Thermo . . . . . The Poor Zeroth Law, Never Getting Any Respect
Lesson #2054 - Carnivores . . . . . Moose, On The Other Hand, Love Eating Lightning-Struck Animals, It's Very Uncharacteristic
Lesson #2053 - Lent . . . . . Perhaps Helium Would Have Been A Better Choice
Lesson #2052 - Romantic Beginnings . . . . . Sorry, I Can't Go Speed Dating, I'm Trying To Diet
Lesson #2051 - Sleep Deprivation . . . . . Oh Wait I See, Someone Just Left The Bathtub Faucet On, This Is Just Water Pouring Down The Stairs, It All Makes Sense Now

Lesson #2050 - Contraceptives . . . . . Technically, Just The First Used, Not Necessarily Successfully
Lesson #2049 - Bakeries . . . . . Derivative Possibilities: Crustworthy, The Brain Crust, Place Your Crust In Me
Lesson #2048 (Recitation #116) - Fights . . . . . Depends Whether It's Home Or Away, Anyway. Or Neutral Site. Like A Desert. Actually, That's Not Very Neutral
Lesson #2047 - Spring Break . . . . . Maybe The Old Lady Next Door Will Go Wild
Lesson #2046 - Impressions . . . . . I Also Do A Not-Terrible Bullwinkle T. Moose
Lesson #2045 - Great Literature . . . . . Literacy Is A Barrier In Multiple Languages
Lesson #2044 - Sarcasm . . . . . A Standing Ovation To You If You Recognized That 'Snork' Was A Snorkeling Joke About Things Being Incomprehensible Underwater, It's Not A Great Joke But It Makes Me Laugh Everytime
Lesson #2043 - Kid Blends . . . . . Make Sure To Drink Water To Help Keep It Down
Lesson #2042 - Poor Choices . . . . . Trust Me On This, I'm A Doctor
Lesson #2041 (Recitation #115) - Contact . . . . . Wait, They're From A Desert Planet? Well, That's Potentially Unfortunate

Lesson #2040 - Idiocy . . . . . Foot, Meet Mouth; Tongue, Meet Twist; Brain, Meet Fist
Lesson #2039 - Pleasing . . . . . Pleasing Three Out Of Ten People Is A Hall Of Fame Average, Take What Pride You Can
Lesson #2038 - Styles . . . . . BASK IN MY RADIANCE
Lesson #2037 - Creation Myths . . . . . That's Why I Call The Earth "Bitey"
Lesson #2036 - "-Holic" . . . . . My Re-written Version Of The Bible Will Soon Be Available In Walmarts Everywhere
Lesson #2035 - Coffee Mantra . . . . . I Imagine Aragorn Was A Pain In The Morning Until He Had His Fill
Lesson #2034 (Recitation #114) - Online Dates . . . . . Hello, Ladies And Gentlemen, I Know I Made You Weak At The Knees With That Joke, I Hope You Can Restrain Your Emotions And Desires
Lesson #2033 - Joke-Telling . . . . . 'Alchemist' Should Be A Grade Level For Scientist And Engineering Students, Like Between Sophomore And Junior Year
Lesson #2032 - Venus . . . . . The Green Star That Is Venus Is Really Just The Rovers Signalling That They're Ready To Come Home Now
Lesson #2031 - Desserts . . . . . Beer Is A Kind Of Liquid Dessert

Lesson #2030 - Slopes . . . . . It Says Something About You That You're Not Supposed To Bring A Sled And You Did Anyway
Lesson #2029 - Photography, Part III . . . . . Hail Satan I Mean What Who Said That
Lesson #2028 - Vegetarian Factions . . . . . Why Can't Each Side Just Care-ot A Little
Lesson #2027 (Recitation #113) - No Valentine . . . . . Adventure Never Enjoys The Card I Get It, Though
Lesson #2026 - Valentine Thoughts, Part IV . . . . . "I'm Grounded? Gee, Really Feeling The Storge, Mom"
Lesson #2025 - Valentine Thoughts, Part III . . . . . The World Is Your Pearl, Baby. Wait, Yes, No, I Mean, Yes, I Know You're A Clam Not An Oyster, No I Wasn't Trying To Be Offensive, Wait, Baby, Come Back, Please, I'm Sorry
Lesson #2024 - Valentine Thoughts, Part II . . . . . Your Rib Cage Would Likely Have Developed Very Differently, Now That I Think About It
Lesson #2023 - Valentine Thoughts, Part I . . . . . Vole On Tine. Get It? Wait, Please Come Back, These Reservations Were Expensive
Lesson #2022 - Craziness . . . . . Good Luck Generating Numbers For That Equation
Lesson #2021 - Winter Olympics . . . . . "Wait, You Idiot, Don't Drive That Croquet Stake Into The Frozen Pond, You'll-" CRACK

Lesson #2020 (Recitation #112) - Cooking For Guests . . . . . YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOUR FATHER WAS A CHICKEN. NO, HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT? OR EVEN THINK THAT WAS A POSSIBILITY
Guest Lecture #29 - SF Lunatic Fringe
Lesson #2019 - Automated Phone Systems . . . . . Yes, I'm Sure Your Name Really Is Kevin, Too
Lesson #2018 - Aging . . . . . Not Really Sure I Qualify As A Silver Fox, Not Only Because Of A Lack Of A Full Silver Head Of Hair, But Also Because A Silver Wombat Is Probably A Better Term
Lesson #2017 - Normalcy . . . . . Hipsters Are Just Wannabe Time Travelers From The Future, Conformists Are Wannabe Time Travelers Getting Dragged Forward From The Past
Lesson #2016 - Groundhogs, Part II . . . . . A More Appropriate Name For Anyone Who Annexes As Much Territory As They Can, Not For A Rodent You Can't Really Make Chops From
Lesson #2015 - Pointy Beards . . . . . Once It Gets Too Long, It's Too Hard To Wield It Like A Weapon To Stab Someone, Hence You're Not As Evil Anymore
Lesson #2014 (Recitation #111) - Stupid Ideas . . . . . Not To Mention Ecumenically
Lesson #2013 - Imaginary Friends . . . . . Somehow He Keeps Eating All The Chips, Too. I Don't Know How In Hark He Does That
Lesson #2012 - Opium . . . . . This Comic Was Written Entirely Under The Influence Of No Opium At All
Lesson #2011 - Properly Curated Scorn . . . . . "How Is This A Comic?" "I Don't Know, It Gave Me A Sad Smile, And If I Only Made Content For You, Hypothetical Internet Person, This Would Be A Site Of Nothing But Coffee And Cats"

Lesson #2010 - Fruits . . . . . Everything Is Better In Pie Form, Particularly Circular Areas
Lesson #2009 - Honor . . . . . Honor Schmonor
Lesson #2008 - Nemeses . . . . . Raisins, It's Been Nearly 25 Years, But We Finally Meet Again
Lesson #2007 - A Marriage's Worth . . . . . I Will Never Get Tired Of The Zy Goat Joke, I Promise You That
Lesson #2006 - Shame and Responsibility . . . . . I Look Forward To Your Arguments Against Linear Regressions, No, Wait, I Really Really Don't
Lesson #2005 - Bongos . . . . . SOMEBODY HELP, MY DRUM JUST GORED ME
Lesson #2004 - Personal Victories . . . . . Anyone Got Any Nachos? Can You Send Them Through The Wormhole? Hey Thanks And Oh I See, Nachos Is Your Word For Live Giant Squid, Well, That's Unfortunate
Lesson #2003 - Friggin' Cats . . . . . (Exasperated Sigh)
Lesson #2002 - Personal Limitations . . . . . If Nightshift Gives Me Free Beer As A Result Of The Plug, The Headache Tomorrow Will All Have Been Worth It
Lesson #2001 - Dancing . . . . . No Wait That's A Spasm Someone Call 911

Lesson #2000 - The Paths We Take . . . . . Hey! Fancy Meeting You Here
Lesson #1999 - Self-Confidence . . . . . It's Awfully Crowded With So Many Mes Up In This Brain
Lesson #1998 - Creative Writing . . . . . "Hmmmm, I Think I'll Work On BSing About A Whale Today," Thought Herman Melville
Lesson #1997 - Scientific Priorities . . . . . TAKEN III, I Guess
Lesson #1996 - Lunch . . . . . That Every Comic Hasn't Been About Food Is The Bigger Surprise At This Point, I Would Say. Anyway, I'm Hungry
Lesson #1995 - Night Owls . . . . . Bet No One Likes This One, That Is My Guess, And Furthermore, I Don't Care, Apparently
Lesson #1994 - Problem Solving . . . . . Surely This Beast Will Help The Town's School Education Budget Get Passed!
Lesson #1993 - Spaghetti . . . . . Sorry, Ma, Looks Like The Rigatoni Didn't Come In Real Good This Year, Gonna Be A Hard Winter
Lesson #1992 - Grumpy Old Men . . . . . A Bit Heavy, Though, Hard To Get Torque On Him
Lesson #1991 - Coffee Innovations . . . . . The Name Of A Coffee Order Should Not Take Longer To Say Than To Drink

Lesson #1990 - Teaching Beginnings . . . . . Sarcasm Does Not Play Well, Apparently
Lesson #1989 - Scientific Creativity . . . . . "Dad, Why Does That Beached Whale Have A Helicopter Sticking Out Of Its Head?" "Oh, It's Probably Just Playing, Sweetheart"
Lesson #1988 - Winter Pedestrian Logic . . . . . THUNK Oh Sorry
Lesson #1987 - Home . . . . . Anyway, I'll Be Huddling In The Cold Blowing On The Pipes To Get Them To Thaw
Lesson #1986 - Probable Fates . . . . . Ah, Those Rascally Hemingway Brothers, You Never Know What They'll Get Up To
Lesson #1985 - Ice . . . . . The Weather Channel Knows Something We Don't
Lesson #1984 - New Year Superstitions . . . . . EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED Except Your Name And Identity And Really Pretty Much Everything
Lesson #1983 - End Of Another Year . . . . . 2014's Major Weakness Is Saws And Blunt Objects To The Head, I'm Guessing
Lesson #1982 - Resolutions, Revisited . . . . . Next Year I Set My Sights On Prunes
Lesson #1981 - Favorite Music, Part II . . . . . Zither Stardust Is A Little Overrated, To Be Honest

Lesson #1980 - Eye-Rolling . . . . . Hurray, A Teenager In A Twenty-Month-Old Body
Lesson #1979 - Secret Alcohol . . . . . The Holidays When You Have Children, When You Discover How Much Your Relatives Truly Love You Based On What They Give Your Children
Lesson #1978 - Fireplaces . . . . . Home Is Where Dad Doses Me With Toxic Gas
Lesson #1977 - Noels . . . . . Merry Everything, Guys
Lesson #1976 - Creeping People Out, Part XIX . . . . . And When You're Arrested For Disturbing The Peace, Shout, "I'm Going To Jail! Isn't It Terrific!"
Lesson #1975 - Holiday Chaos . . . . . The Other Holidays Snicker Behind Christmas's Back, And Rightfully So
Lesson #1974 - Basement Science . . . . . It's Also Easier To Unearth The Buried Bodies From Down Here, Too
Lesson #1973 - Cat Science . . . . . Cat Einstein Came Up With The Idea While He Was Sleeping One Day, Or So They Say, The Story May Be Apocryphal
Lesson #1972 - Christmas Ruminations, Part III . . . . . Hitler Makes For A Truly Terrible Tree Topper
Lesson #1971 - Christmas Ruminations, Part II . . . . . Enough Already, Venison Is On The Menu

Lesson #1970 - Christmas Ruminations, Part I . . . . . Maybe The Song Was Rested Ye
Lesson #1969 - Automotives . . . . . AAA? Yes, I Think I See A Yeti, Please Hurry
Lesson #1968 - Grading, Part IV . . . . . Any Actual Student Who Wants To Know What Their Bath Toy Grade Was, Just Email Me
Lesson #1967 - Holiday Spirits, Part II . . . . . It's Already Absorbed Thanksgiving, Soon Not Even Labor Day Will Be Safe
Lesson #1966 - Holiday Spirits, Part I . . . . . Marty McFly Has Got Nothing On Me And My Ghost Powered Pickup Truck
Lesson #1965 - Ornamental Order . . . . . The Front Of The Tree Is All Chickens. I'm Not Kidding. We Like Chicken Ornaments
Lesson #1964 - Personal Overload . . . . . Solution Is Undefined
Lesson #1963 - Unpacking . . . . . Strange, Those Meows Are Getting Quieter And Quieter
Lesson #1962 - Gift Giving . . . . . I May Be Fired Next Week
Lesson #1961 - Rivalries . . . . . I See An Opportunity For A Musical Dance-Off

Lesson #1960 - Extra Wind . . . . . Clarinet Might Have Slid Down Easier
Lesson #1959 - Moving, Again . . . . . Have Truck, Will Live Like A Nomad Who Signs Leases
Lesson #1958 - Coffee's Purpose . . . . . GLUGLUGLUGLUGLUG
Lesson #1957 - Liking Others . . . . . People, Who Needs Them
Lesson #1956 - Hammering Away . . . . . Thus Explaining The Impetus To Throw More Money At Money Pits By Politicians, To Throw More Bombs At Bomb Craters By Politicians, And Red Meat At Voters By Politicians
Lesson #1955 - Life Control . . . . . No, The Rabbit Hole Doesn't Go So Deep You Come Out The Other Side, You Just Think You Do Because Of All The Meds That You're Given By The Nice Men In The White Coats
Lesson #1954 - Dressing As Santa . . . . . Zwarte Piet Cosplay Is A Little Hard To Explain Though
Lesson #1953 - Annoying Christmas Songs . . . . . I Apologize, Parents Of Kids Who Read This Comic
Lesson #1952 - Lines From Dinner . . . . . My Father-In-Law Has His Moments
Lesson #1951 - Black Friday, Part II . . . . . Because Ops Are Somedays More Predictable Than Others

Lesson #1950 - Pardoned Poultry . . . . . Imagine If The Turkey Killed Again? Of All The Things To Effect Your Polling
Lesson #1949 - Thankfulness . . . . . Now Pass The Potatoes
Lesson #1948 - Obligations . . . . . I Didn't Sign Any Agreement Saying That I'd Give Away My Fourth Born, Right? I Feel Like You Could Have Distracted Me And Gotten Me To Sign That, Lately
Lesson #1947 - Imagination, Part III . . . . . The First Law Of Imagination Physics Is That We Do Not Talk About Physics, The Second Law Of Imagination Physics Is That There Are No Laws
Lesson #1946 - Baby Wisdom . . . . . At This Rate, All I Need Is For Her To Learn A Few Words, And I Can Retire!
Lesson #1945 - Sweet Dreams . . . . . My Dreams Are Usually Of Eclectic Sheep, Personally
Lesson #1944 - Living Areas . . . . . "Rubrurbanal"
Lesson #1943 - At Odds . . . . . Hurray For All The People That We Specifically Agree With And Like
Lesson #1942 - Remakes . . . . . Man I Hope It Bombs
Lesson #1941 - French . . . . . Debated Drawing A Mustache With Eyeblack For This One

Lesson #1940 - Instinct . . . . . Basically, I Can't Decide Whether Or Not To Wear Underwear
Lesson #1939 - Lousy . . . . . I Think The General Point Here Is To Just Avoid Entomology Students, Period. Sorry, Entomology Students
Lesson #1938 - Chalkdust . . . . . This Is Why We Must Spurn The Onward March Of Whiteboards
Lesson #1937 - Kids and Grandkids . . . . . Right In The Hair. Again. Good Aim. Maybe There's An Athletic Scholarship In This For You Somehow
Lesson #1936 - Predicting . . . . . Bet You Didn't See My Jerkiness Coming, Huh? Oh. You Did. Well. That's Unfortunate.
Lesson #1935 - Joking . . . . . Welcome To Brain Theater, We Have Been The Occipitals, You've Been A Great Audience, WE LOVE YOU CEREBELLUM, ORGAN BY THE SKULL
Lesson #1934 - Brainwashing . . . . . Sleep, The Brain's Nighttime Janitor
Lesson #1933 - Theoretical Practice . . . . . Never Trusted That Fermat Guy, Though
Lesson #1932 - Culinary Artists . . . . . Further Proof, Never Trust A Cat
Lesson #1931 - Unstated Obligations . . . . . It's Okay, I'm Sure The Oven Will Turn Off On Its Own

Lesson #1930 - Nakedness . . . . . Yes, Yes, It's Uncomfortable For Everyone
Lesson #1929 - Red Eyes . . . . . Anyway, That's Why I Attacked The Complimentary Peanuts, Looking For Bugs
Lesson #1928 - The States, Part IV . . . . . The Parents Went To Bed But The Kids Are Still Up, And Look Where That Got Them
Lesson #1927 - Idea Formation . . . . . What Are You Doing To My Ear? No, That Is Not How You Brainstorm
Lesson #1926 - Personal Creativity . . . . . I Do Wish My Muse Would Stop Calling Me "Poopstick", Though
Lesson #1925 - Hotels . . . . . Amenities Include Continental Breakfast, Gym, Wi-Fi, Rabies
Lesson #1924 - Parades . . . . . Ba Dum Bum Bum, DAH Da Da, Ba Dum Bum Bum, DAH Da Da
Lesson #1923 - Terrible Ideas . . . . . Live, Damn You, Live!
Lesson #1922 - The Celebration of Halloween . . . . . WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SOX!
Lesson #1921 - Friend Costumes . . . . . Or Dress Up As The Person Who Only Treats You As A Friend When You Want To Be Something More, When You Go Home Later, At Least You'll Kind Of Go Home Together

Lesson #1920 - Trains, Ships, and Ghosts . . . . . Chugga Chugga Chugga Chugga BOOOOOOOOOO BOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Lesson #1919 - Halloween at School . . . . . Now Go Put On Your School Uniform And Let The Bullies Beat The Individual Right Out Of You
Lesson #1918 - Terrifying Scenes . . . . . Oh, And The Obligatory: Moo-Hah-Hah-Hah
Lesson #1917 - Halloween Art . . . . . Although If This Is Bad, Just Wait Until Christmas, Right?
Lesson #1916 - Ghost Origins . . . . . The Four Bases Are The True Points Of A Satanic Pentagram
Lesson #1915 - Abstract Halloween Costumes, Part V . . . . . "Abstract" Itself Is A Pretty Great Abstract Costume
Lesson #1914 - Hauntings . . . . . Away From Me, Oh Ghost Of The Time I Stubbed My Toe, I Have No Time For You
Lesson #1913 - Narratives . . . . . I Think We Can Fit One More Column Inside This Dead Horse Skin If We Just Stretch It A Bit More! Pull! PULLLLLLLLLLLL Oh Dear It Ripped. Somebody Get Us A New Horseskin
Lesson #1912 - Sports Definitions, Part I . . . . . Aunt Susie Always Was A Weirdo
Lesson #1911 - Central Nervous Systems . . . . . The CNS, Spreading Anxiety Throughout The Body

Lesson #1910 - Pumpkins . . . . . This Is What Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater's Wife Felt Like, Trapped, But By A Marketing Onslaught
Lesson #1909 - Offices . . . . . I'm Honestly Enjoying How Many Students Are Telling Me They're Enjoying The Decoration On My New Office's Door, Never Mind That They Are The Same Decorations That Were On My Old Office Door, Oh Well
Lesson #1908 - Nonsense Learning . . . . . I Almost Told A Class Today That The Moody Friction Factor Was The Inspiration For The Harry Potter Character, Then Thought Better Of Doing So
Lesson #1907 - Experiments, Part II . . . . . I've Been Breathing In Toxic Leaking Fumes All Day, And Boy, Am I Exhausted
Lesson #1906 - Experiments, Part I . . . . . Hard To Explain The Moldy Orange Juice Inside The Rototherm, Mind You
Lesson #1905 - Sports . . . . . Sports, The Religion For The Religious And The Atheists Alike
Lesson #1904 - Dogs . . . . . Bow Wow And Bow Wow, Amen
Lesson #1903 - Normality . . . . . I Went Out On A Carbon Date Once, It Was Very Sooty And I Didn't Enjoy It Much
Lesson #1902 - Daycare . . . . . Hurray, You're Home, Into The Sanitary Bath Before You Are Allowed To Enter The House
Lesson #1901 - Pet Purpose . . . . . Especially Cats

Lesson #1900 - The Coffee (A Poem) . . . . . And Then We Found Out The Coffee Was Being Raised By The Amish All This Time Oops I Should Have Said Spoiler Alert
Lesson #1899 - Hoarders . . . . . Everything Is Meaningful If You Try Hard Enough To Plaster Nostalgia To It
Lesson #1898 - The Worst . . . . . Anyone Who Claims To Enjoy Moving Is A Liar
Lesson #1897 - Turtles . . . . . Feeder Fish Are Far Most Cost Effective Than Pizza, By The Way
Lesson #1896 - Sanity . . . . . Stop Right There Or The Hypothalmus Gets It, I Swear It, I'll Fire, I Swear
Lesson #1895 - Sports Superstitions . . . . . Hence The Sam Adams And The Guinness In The Fridge
Lesson #1894 - Government, Part II . . . . . If This Series Continues For Another Day, It'll Just Be A Single Circle That Represents Both Government And Disappointment
Lesson #1893 - Government . . . . . Anyway, Please Allow Me To Pontificate
Lesson #1892 - Creeping People Out, Part XVIII . . . . . No, We Haven't Been Contacted By Any Record Company, How Could They Possibly Know We Exist?
Lesson #1891 - Entropy . . . . . We're Not Cheating, We're Just Fulfilling Universal Destiny

Lesson #1890 - Fruit Powers . . . . . Let's Not Even Get Into What The Coconut Can Do
Lesson #1889 - Discipline . . . . . Sesame Street For Teaching Our Children The Alphabet And Simple Math, Wool Weapons For Teaching Our Children History And Warfare
Lesson #1888 - Nothing . . . . . Something Would Go Here If I Could Make It
Lesson #1887 - Breakthroughs . . . . . Just Keep Living, Just Keep Living, Just Keep Living
Lesson #1886 - Inside Connection . . . . . Six Degrees Of Separation Plus Or Minus Ten Thousand
Lesson #1885 - Grading, Part III . . . . . Ink Is Far Less Tasty, Of Course, Or Is It
Lesson #1884 - Animal Classification . . . . . Every Time I Get To Use My Creepy Stare, An Angel Gets Larger Eyeballs
Lesson #1883 - Babies . . . . . Sometimes More George Of The Jungle Than Tarzan, Admittedly
Lesson #1882 - Celebrations . . . . . Using The Cat As A Sponge Was, In Retrospect, A Poor Idea
Lesson #1881 - Pirates? . . . . . AAAAAAA Screamed The Bostonian Pirate

Lesson #1880 - Space Exploration . . . . . "Are You Martians Or Are You Monsters", Goes The Saying, Which Doesn't Really Speak Well For Us
Lesson #1879 - Dumb Holidays, Part I . . . . . THIS IS NATIONAL FARM ANIMALS AWARENESS WEEK. WHAT THE HARK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN
Lesson #1878 - Stress Management . . . . . There's A Foreign Language Joke In There Somewhere In "Stress Management", But It's Probably Not Funny Enough To Even Waste The Time I Am Taking To Type This
Lesson #1877 - Caffeine . . . . . The Supervillain Who Only Pulls Coffee-Related Plots And Schemes Is Known As 'The Caffiend', Right?
Lesson #1876 - Feline Math . . . . . Meow Squared = Jerkism To The Fourth Power
Lesson #1875 - Political Thoughts . . . . . Pundits Are More Fast Food Than Slow Cookers, They've Repeatedly Got To Be On To Their Next Subject To Obsess Over
Lesson #1874 - Mammals . . . . . All The More For Eating, Then, Or Maybe Not On Second Thought
Lesson #1873 - Dealing With Living . . . . . Could Also Be Filed Under Things I Will Be Shouting At Someone In A Crowd Within A Week, In All Likelihood
Lesson #1872 - Faulty Logic . . . . . This Reward For My Brilliant Logic Looks Mysteriously Like A Road Cone, That's Weird
Lesson #1871 - Caring . . . . . Comforting, In A Way, A Way That Does Not Bring Happiness With The Comfort

Lesson #1870 - Creeping People Out, Part XVII . . . . . OH GOD, AN UMBRELLA RIGHT IN THE EYE, WHY'D YOU HAVE TO LIKE DRINKS WITH UMBRELLAS
Lesson #1869 - Testing . . . . . But Don't Believe Me, I Could Be BSing You Right Now, Or Am I, Who Knows
Lesson #1868 - Farmstands . . . . . Gourd Almighty
Lesson #1867 - Bad Television Ideas, Part II . . . . . Catch The Buzz
Lesson #1866 - Bad Television Ideas . . . . . A Future Cult Classic
Lesson #1865 - Explaining College . . . . . I've Been Reading "To Be Or Not To Be" Lately, I Highly Recommend It
Lesson #1864 - School Year Preparations . . . . . I'm Not Here To Hold Your Hand, I'm Here To Eviscerate Your Lack Of Understanding. So We Can Fill In Some Knowledge! See, There's A Positive In There For Everyone
Lesson #1863 - Turning Seasons . . . . . Welcome Back To School, Kids
Lesson #1862 - Housing, Part II . . . . . Termites Are Rogue Artisans, They Have No Noted Trade And Have Not Gotten Proper Acknowledgment From The Guild
Lesson #1861 - Housing, Part I . . . . . Some Call This A Pond, I Call It My Asbestos Farm

Lesson #1860 - Signs of the Times . . . . . Secret Service Would Probably Tackle You Before You Could Get Too Close To The Congressman, Unfortunately
Lesson #1859 - Buddies . . . . . Hey Pal, Could You Rub Yourself With This Blood And Get Something Out Of The Water For Me? Thanks
Lesson #1858 - Chinchillas . . . . . Did You Know Chinchillas Were Once Hunted For Their Fur? Sigh. No Respect For The Cute And Cuddly
Lesson #1857 - Morning Aptitude . . . . . Students Who Bring Me Coffee, Either My Real-Life Students, Or You Darling STW-ers Who Happen To Meet Me In Real Life, I Am All In Favor Of Your Greatness, Unless You're Somehow Stalking Me And That's How You Knew To Have Coffee Ready For Me At That Particular Street Corner, Go Away And Leave My Family Alone
Lesson #1856 - Chicken Nuggets . . . . . Welcome To Dinner, Before We Dig In, Please Finish This Pop Quiz For Your Science Class
Lesson #1855 - Descent . . . . . Geronimosquitoes! (That'd Be A Terrible Rain Of Animals)
Lesson #1854 - Bathroom Reading . . . . . Not Sure If This Comic Counted As NSFW Or Not, Hopefully Not Since You Already Read It
Lesson #1853 (Recitation #110) - Hit Songs . . . . . I Look Forward To Your Acoustic Unplugged Version
Lesson #1852 - Thinking . . . . . Oh, Was I Making You Uncomfortable? What Do You Have Against Someone For Thinking? Thought Racist!
Lesson #1851 - Moderation . . . . . Stupid William Power

Lesson #1850 - Thermodynamics . . . . . The First Law Is Really All You Need, If You Like The Idea Of A Cold Room Heating A Hot Cup Of Coffee
Lesson #1849 - Little Known Facts, Part III . . . . . This Are Cave Of Arrrrrgggh, Welcome
Lesson #1848 - Game, Part II . . . . . Fortunately, I Am Wearing My Foot Camouflage, So You Will Never Be Able To See My Feet To Go After OWWWWWWWW How Could You Have Guessed That They Were Where I Was Standing OWWWWWWWW
Lesson #1847 - Barbecue . . . . . Of Course, Some Obsessed Foodie Will Start To Ask You About What Type Of Squid Ink. At Which Point, You Should Hit Them In The Face With An Octopus. You'd Probably Have One On Hand If You Live In Detroit
Lesson #1846 (Recitation #109) - Bees . . . . . It's Truly Apollening. Apalling? Pollen? Bees? No? Yeah, I Tried Too Hard With That One
Lesson #1845 - Doing Science . . . . . And That's Why The Cat Is Glued To The Ceiling. No, You Can't Let Her Down, The Experiment Is Ongoing. Frankly, She Chose Not To Be The Control Cat In The Study, She Should Stop Complaining.
Lesson #1844 - Video Enjoyment . . . . . Oh, Baby, That's Right, You Share That Hydrogen Ion, Oh Yeah
Lesson #1843 - Coffee Effects . . . . . Coffee Goggles: Making Mornings Good Enough To Not Sleep In With, Or Something
Lesson #1842 - Time Travel Theory . . . . . It's Probably Good That They Never Arrived, Your Buffet Didn't Have The Imitation Steak Pills That They Enjoy So Much By 2079
Lesson #1841 - Family Reunions . . . . . I Invited My Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great- Uncle The Neanderthal, But Thankfully He Declined To Join Us, Which Is Nice Because He's Awfully Racist, Anyway

Lesson #1840 - Bonding . . . . . We're Now Covalently Attached And Are Looking For A Free Radical To Help Us Separate
Lesson #1839 (Recitation #108) - Nipples . . . . . Chant The Right Words And You'll Find Out
Lesson #1838 - Positivity . . . . . "Could Be Worse" Also Upsets People, I Wonder Why
Lesson #1837 - Outcomes . . . . . Ryan Likes To Stomp On The Floor A Lot, I Don't Think He Realizes I'm Down Here Between His Floorboards
Lesson #1836 - Time . . . . . The Rolling Stones Lied
Lesson #1835 - Little Known Facts, Part II . . . . . "Help Meeeeeee!" The Lobster Screams, But Can't Be Heard Over The Sound Of The Boiling Water
Lesson #1834 - Imagination, Part II . . . . . "It Looks Like They Broke In Through The Imagination." "But, Wait, Chief! The Imagination Is Shattered And All The Pieces Are Scattered Outside! Not Inside!" "Holy Hark. This Was An Inside Job!"
Lesson #1833 - Favorite Music . . . . . It's A Lot Harder If You Only Allow One Song Per Artist, And Partly Misses The Point
Lesson #1832 (Recitation #107) - Good/Evil . . . . . That Outfit Is Positively Diabolical. As In, Is Azazel Your Tailor
Lesson #1831 - Canadian Life . . . . . Eh

Lesson #1830 - Negotiations . . . . . Look, Cannonball, I Would Like To Extradite The Dog, Can You Please Let Him Out Of Your Room Before He Goes On The Floor And You Help Him Over The Border Anyway
Lesson #1829 - In Explanation . . . . . They've Certainly Been Playing At The Assumption That They Are, And They're Certainly Both Alternately Praised And Reviled Like They Are
Lesson #1828 - Rational Explanations of Irrational Phobias, Part XI . . . . . Their Style Of Clothing And Fashion And Slang Are None Too Spectacular, Either
Lesson #1827 - Cat Emotions . . . . . My Vertical Chest Is Not A Place To Nap
Lesson #1826 - Buzzwords . . . . . And These Pipes Are Sustainable! Now Give Me Money, NSF
Lesson #1825 (Recitation #106) - Problems . . . . . Carry The One, Divide By Three, Assume The Sun Is Hot But Not That Hot, And BAM, You've Got The Blueprints For Your Spaceship
Lesson #1824 - Sweat . . . . . Somewhere, Machines Are Gleefully Watching People In The Gym, Super Excited And Mispronouncing Sweat As "Sweet, Sweet, Sweet"
Lesson #1823 - Horses, Part II . . . . . Do I Think Anyone Will Take This Seriously And Be Offended On Behalf Of Horses? Neiiiiiiigh! Oh, Wait, Yes. Yes, I Most Certainly Do.
Lesson #1822 - To-Do . . . . . Interestingly, Based On This Curve, You Really Shouldn't Worry, You'll Never Run Out Of Time To Do Something Because You Need An Infinite Number Of Tasks Left To Be Completed First
Lesson #1821 - Signs, Part II . . . . . You're Into . . . Congelation? Well, I Wish You Good Day And I'm Off To Talk To Someone Else

Lesson #1820 - Coffee Additives . . . . . The Doughnuts Are Filled With Communion Wafers, Too. Okay, Not Really, That One Was A Joke. Maybe.
Lesson #1819 - Word Choice . . . . . Stop It, Brain, What Is Wrong With You, Why Did You Have To Do That
Lesson #1818 - Paths . . . . . If You Want To Get Nerdy About It, It Makes For A Great Three-Dimensional Perspective
Lesson #1817 - Sense of Humor . . . . . Get One, Please
Lesson #1816 - Perceived Threats . . . . . We're Going To Need A Bigger Supply Of Nickels, We Don't Have Enough To Get The Two-Pack Of PopTarts AND Fend Off The Anthropomorphic Vending Machine
Lesson #1815 (Recitation #105) - Impressing . . . . . That Comic Took A Very Creepy Turn And Kept Right On Going Down Super Creepy Boulevard
Lesson #1814 - Hugs . . . . . Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs Even If You Smell
Lesson #1813 - Schrodinger . . . . . WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU CRAZY PERSON, LET ME GO IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY
Lesson #1812 - Feats . . . . . It Makes More Sense If You Pronounce The Word "The" Like "De", I Hope You Caught That
Lesson #1811 - Black Cats . . . . . Man The Torpedos! No, I Mean, Stick Men In The Torpedo Chutes, It'll Be Fun, I Promise

Lesson #1810 - Graffiti, Part II . . . . . The Tagger Is Named "The Dis-integrated"
Lesson #1809 - Alternative Sports . . . . . I Only Root For The Goat
Lesson #1808 - Smart Plants . . . . . The Rosebush Will Be Happy To Tutor You With Your Calculus, Though
Lesson #1807 - Firework Alternatives . . . . . The Coyote Population In Those Areas Is Remarkably Low
Lesson #1806 - Squid . . . . . Beginning To Believe That Squid Are The Unofficial Non-Extinct Animal Of STW, Just Like Grapefruit Are The Unofficial Fruit And Chalkdust Is The Unofficial Inefficient Fake Cocaine
Lesson #1805 - The Engineer . . . . . Bio Is Part Of Chemical, Computer Is Part Of Electrical. Don't Get All Huffy, Those Are The Main Four Classifications, And You Know It
Lesson #1804 - Teeth Whitening . . . . . Gargle For No Extra Effectiveness, Just Stop, What The Hell Is Wrong With You
Lesson #1803 - Bubblewrap . . . . . Not Necessarily The Most Attractive Look, Either
Lesson #1802 - Bodies . . . . . If You Meet A Cassandra Smith Tell Him I Will See Him In Court
Lesson #1801 (Recitation #104) - World's End . . . . . 10010110100010001001010001011102 I Mean Please Be Careful With Our Computer Oh Great Overlords!

Lesson #1800 - Creeping People Out, Part XVI . . . . . Maybe Pull Out Your Phone And Appear To Dial, If Anyone Sees You. Otherwise, It's A Creeping With Extended Operation!
Lesson #1799 - Marriages . . . . . P.S. Hurray
Lesson #1798 - The Street . . . . . And Not Just Sesame
Lesson #1797 - Hair Loss . . . . . Werewolf Tendancies Or Birds-Heading-South-For-The-Winter Tendancies, It's One Or The Other Or Maybe Both
Lesson #1796 - Fishy . . . . . Scrod Is Actually Kind Of A Good Nickname, I'm Totally On Board With That
Lesson #1795 - Hockey . . . . . Man, Can Those Octopus Cross-Check! They Do Have To Introduce An Extra Penalty For Them, Though. "Inking" Will Get You Two Minutes In The Box
Lesson #1794 (Recitation #103) - Demon Portals . . . . . As It Is Written. I Think This Makes ASPCAs A Cult That Buffy Would Be Trying To Bring Down
Lesson #1793 - Mars . . . . . "Goddeimos" Is Also Somewhat Popular
Lesson #1792 - Clouds . . . . . Many Old-Timey Names, A Bit Of Class, And The Occasional DESTRUCTATRON
Lesson #1791 - Baby Movement . . . . . GET OFF THE END TABLE

Lesson #1790 - Brain Power . . . . . It's Like A Math-Only Matrix
Lesson #1789 - Home Protection, Part V . . . . . Try To Remember Not To Touch Your Eyes When Cleaning Up
Lesson #1788 - Home Protection, Part IV . . . . . If You Had Actual Ghosts, This Would Be Pretty Cool, But You Best Be Friendly With Them, That Could Backfire
Lesson #1787 (Recitation #102) - Evolution . . . . . I Would Also Accept Being A Giant Intelligent Lobster. Or Squid. Not A Cat, Though. Definitely Not A Cat.
Lesson #1786 - Cocktails . . . . . Easy For The Bartender To Make But Very Sleazy If The Bartender Is Actually The One To Make It
Lesson #1785 - Liquor . . . . . Does Not Go Down Smooth At All
Lesson #1784 - Science, Part II . . . . . That's Polyethylene Oxide In The Jar, But You Can Pretend It's Cocaine If That Helps You Imagine Better
Lesson #1783 - Page-A-Day Calendars . . . . . If The Calendar Was All About Birds, Every Day You Flipped A Page, You Would Be Flipping The Bird, And How Rude Is That? Shame On You
Lesson #1782 - Time Traveler . . . . . "Anyway, Want To Come With Me And Visit The Future? Mind You, We'll Be Stuck There, But At Least We'll Be Together Before You Leave Me Like Everyone Else"
Lesson #1781 - Game . . . . . "I Have To Tell You, She A Real Elker"

Lesson #1780 (Recitation #101) - Graders . . . . . My Graders Get Paid Actual Money And They Do Very Little Grading At That, I Should Probably Be Making Them Work Harder Or Hiring Them Out To Other Professors, If You Need A Serf Please Let Me Know
Lesson #1779 - Dreaming . . . . . Friggin' Dog, When Am I Ever Going To Have Another Chance At A Mind-Blowing Encounter With Um You Know Someone Completely Chaste Yeah That's It Chaste
Lesson #1778 - Stars . . . . . Any Advice, Major Tom?
Lesson #1777 - Food Shortages . . . . . Definitely Not Roaches, I Put My Foot Down On The Matter, Right In Their Carapice
Lesson #1776 - Internet Arguments . . . . . And That's Why You Really Are At Fault For How Late It Is Now
Lesson #1775 - Natural Enemies . . . . . Don't Mind Me, I'll Just Lie On The Floor Here In Agony, As Long As You Just Step Over Me, All Will Be Fine
Lesson #1774 - If You Can "See" Ghosts . . . . . It's A More Reason Skill You've Picked Up, Perhaps, But That Doesn't Decrease Your Bravery, No It Does Not
Lesson #1773 - Anniversary, Part V . . . . . This Is Why Gallagher Only Celebrates Fifth Anniversaries
Lesson #1772 - Agendas . . . . . Hurray. That's All. Now Let's Keep It Rolling
Lesson #1771 - Vocabulary . . . . . Linguists Have Been Attempting To Break Down The Language For Years, The Funding They Have Spent On Round-Trip Tickets Alone Is Insane

Lesson #1770 - Aging, in Perspective . . . . . Sorry If The Comic Image Makes You A Little Uncomfortable. OK, No, I'm Not Sorry, I Apologize For Fake Apologizing. OK, No, I Wasn't Sorry Then, Either
Lesson #1769 - Camping . . . . . How Rustically Miserable
Lesson #1768 - Pressure . . . . . Da Da Da Da-Da Da Daaaa
Lesson #1767 - Mustards . . . . . I Am But A Private In Colonel Mustard's Army
Lesson #1766 - Unknown Creatures . . . . . If A Million Of Those Unknown Species Are Just Variations On Mosquitoes, I'm Going To Be So Pissed
Lesson #1765 - Ratings . . . . . Even A No-Stuck-Out-Pinky Home Can Be A Fine Place To Live, Don't Overestimate The Importance Of The System
Lesson #1764 - Noise Characteristics . . . . . Indigo Gets The Shaft. Again!
Lesson #1763 - Rebranding . . . . . Bread Is Pointless Until It Becomes Bread, Anyway
Lesson #1762 - Movie Watching . . . . . "What Was Your Favorite Part?" "THE CREDITS, YUP, DEFINITELY THE CREDITS"
Lesson #1761 - Joke-Telling . . . . . Sometimes Worse Than A Heckler

Lesson #1760 - Beer . . . . . La La La La La
Lesson #1759 - Toothbrushes . . . . . The Additional Challenge Of Running To Get The Kite In The Air While Brushing Your Teeth Is An Additional Problem
Lesson #1758 - Baby Biology . . . . . May Potentially Nap While Eating A Snack, And Thus Sleep With The Goldfishes, Though
Lesson #1757 - Playpens . . . . . She's OK, Honest
Lesson #1756 - Messages From Cats . . . . . Return To Sender, Please
Lesson #1755 - Reading . . . . . If You Misunderstood 'Reading' As The Place In Pennsylvania Or Somewhere Else, Well, Good For You Or Something
Lesson #1754 - Your Other Mothers . . . . . You Have, Kind Of, An Infinite Amount Of Mothers. That's A Lot Of Favors You Owe
Lesson #1753 - Contentment and Complacency . . . . . Hope This One Isn't Too Cute For Its Own Good
Lesson #1752 - Interest in Attending . . . . . You Can Pick Up Your Packets And Your Paper Plates At The Door On Your Way In
Lesson #1751 - Abilities . . . . . Even A Were-Sea-Anenome Would Be Relatively Neat

Lesson #1750 - Editing . . . . . The Vomit Is My Red Pen
Lesson #1749 - Likely Futures . . . . . Rarely A Nice Happy Existence With Calm Cyborg Neighbors
Lesson #1748 - Teaching . . . . . Hooray Education And The Sensation Of Chalkdust Torture
Lesson #1747 - Moves . . . . . Still Not Sure If I Meant This As A Metaphor For Good Or A Metaphor For Bad, Either Way I Will Let You Decide, That Always Turns Out Well
Lesson #1746 - Derby Day . . . . . It's A Day About Hats, Yes, That's What That Title Means
Lesson #1745 - Life Goals . . . . . Try To Avoid The Bat Nipples, Unless That's The Reason Behind Your Life Goal, In Which Case You Have Made A Very Questionable Life Goal Choice
Lesson #1744 - Innovation in Communication . . . . . How Dare Snails Attempt To Get Telepathy Before It's Widely Available To Humans In Pill Form, The Gall These Creatures Have
Lesson #1743 - Hypnosis . . . . . Suggesting Perhaps That Roger Clemens Was A Chicken All Along?
Lesson #1742 - Maple Syrup . . . . . Enjoy Your Breakfast Now
Lesson #1741 - Life Crises . . . . . Just Wait Until We Can Load Our Consciousnesses Into Computers

Lesson #1740 - Grading, Part II . . . . . Some Of This Crap Is Pretty Good, Though
Lesson #1739 - Surprises . . . . . "Just A Warning, They May Be In Heat"
Lesson #1738 - Birds . . . . . Male Pattern Birdness
Lesson #1737 - Reinforcement . . . . . Only Hugh Can Prevent Florist Friars, And So On
Lesson #1736 - Book Titles . . . . . Monster and Sensibility
Lesson #1735 - Difficult Tests . . . . . Why Would You Do This? What Kind Of Monster Are You? Whyyyyyyyyyy?
Lesson #1734 - Patents . . . . . My Father-In-Law Is A Patent Lawyer, I Should Get Him On This Case For Me, And For You If You'd Like
Lesson #1733 - Supply and Demand . . . . . Chug Chug Ug This Is Terrible Chug
Lesson #1732 - Onwards . . . . . And Here We Go!
Lesson #1731 - Exam Preparation . . . . . Stress Energy Is Green Energy, Which Is Why It's Widely Considered A Hoax Or Something

Lesson #1730 - Babies . . . . . Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz To You, Zzzzzzzzzzzzz To You, Zzzzzzzz Dear Cannonball, Zzzzzzzzzz To You
Lesson #1729 - Alcohol Appearances . . . . . One Actual Major Flaw With The Study? People Who Had Alcohol Were Perceived To Be 'Less Persuasive'. That Makes No Sense. Just Wait Another Beverage Or Two And You Can Convince Them Of Anything
Lesson #1728 - Responding . . . . . Hope You And Yours Are All Okay
Lesson #1727 - Marathons . . . . . Sprite's Morning Marathon Was Particularly Annoying This Morning Because She Had Just Used The Cat Litter
Lesson #1726 - Iron . . . . . Making The Monopoly Piece All That Much More Of A Sinister Foe
Lesson #1725 - Ability and Attitude . . . . . Another Great Line: "Don't Look Back; Something Might Be Gaining On You"
Lesson #1724 - Sinners . . . . . A Black "A" Means You Probably Should Stay Away From The Chocolate Pudding Being Served For Dessert
Lesson #1723 - Knowing . . . . . The Other Half Of The Axiom Is Violence, By The Way
Lesson #1722 - Citrus Across The Universes . . . . . His Pulp Be With You
Lesson #1721 - Superhuman Ability . . . . . Alarm Clocks, The Natural Human Nemesis

Lesson #1720 - Llamas . . . . . Any Script Titled "Llama Drama" Is Already Lying Because It Will Certainly Be A Comedy
Lesson #1719 - Family Hierarchy . . . . . So That's theSwede, The Baby, Three Cats, The Dog, All Of Them Not Necessarily In That Order, Then Me. Then The Turtle.
Lesson #1718 - Beers . . . . . I Protest Agitatedly
Lesson #1717 - Drug Myths . . . . . No, No, It Has To Be USED Cat Litter
Lesson #1716 - New Parents, Part VI . . . . . This Foot Shaped Bruise On My Face Is Kind Of Embarrassing, Too
Lesson #1715 - Things in Space . . . . . The Setting For Another Bad Star Trek Movie
Lesson #1714 - Season's Beginning . . . . . Better To Caught Stealing Than Never Do Anything Annnnnd The Metaphor Just Broke Down
Lesson #1713 - New Scientists, Part III . . . . . Raptor Relish, Polar Bear Barbecue, Bald Eagle Rotisserie
Lesson #1712 - Jesus's Footprints . . . . . If You Could Turn Into A Bat, Heck, Why Wouldn't You Turn Into A Bat Every Now And Then?
Lesson #1711 - Starving Artists . . . . . Flesh Makes For Great Inspiration

Lesson #1710 - Unique Alcohols . . . . . Don't Mind Me, I Just Drained The Bottle And Wanted A Few Last Drops So Now I'm Sucking On The Snake, And Whoa That Sounded Dirty
Lesson #1709 - Reasoning . . . . . Denial And Confidence, Partners That Go Hand In Hand. There's A Buddy Cop Show In That Somewhere
Lesson #1708 - Speaker-Audience Interaction . . . . . Rotten Tomatoes In Every Direction
Lesson #1707 - Hell, Part II . . . . . Just Be Careful Not To Trip On The Path, The Good Intentions That They Use To Fill In The Potholes Don't Last Very Long
Lesson #1706 - Airline Instructions . . . . . The Grizzly Is Now Free To Roam About The Cabin
Lesson #1705 - Joke Longevity . . . . . On The Other Hand, People Eventually Stop Trying To Break In And Get You
Lesson #1704 - Cosplaying . . . . . The Costume Is The Easy Part, It's The Nonstop Act That's A Little Difficult
Lesson #1703 - Thoughts While Traveling . . . . . Coming To You While Lying Dazed On A Hotel Room Floor
Lesson #1702 - Histories (Bracket Week V) . . . . . Undefeated, Infinite Number Of Games Played
Lesson #1701 - Exam Stress (Bracket Week V) . . . . . AND NOW MY CALCULATOR JUST LIT ITSELF ON FIRE, THERE IS NO HOPE FOR ME OR MY GRADE NOW, I QUIT BUT WILL ARGUE ABOUT MY GRADE WITH YOU LATER

Lesson #1700 - Known (Bracket Week V) . . . . . That's What Making 1700 Of These Feels Like, By The Way
Lesson #1699 - Lost Loves (Bracket Week V) . . . . . Boo
Lesson #1698 - St. Patrick's Day . . . . . A Seven Course Meal Is A Six-Pack And A Potato And All That
Lesson #1697 - Pot Pies . . . . . No, Officer, This Pie Is Strictly Medicinal
Lesson #1696 - Horses . . . . . Horseburgers, Now Offered For A Limited Time At Mr. Ed's Animal Farm Eatery! Just Ask For Wilbur.
Lesson #1695 - The Mathematical Formula For Shameless Self-Promotion . . . . . Now Broadcasting In Infrared
Lesson #1694 - Chaos Theory . . . . . It's Just A Theory, I Can Say Whatever I Want, Right? That's How Theories Work? Like Gravity?
Lesson #1693 - Year Titles . . . . . Apologies To All Snakes Out There, I Hiss With You In Solidarity Or Something
Lesson #1692 - Raptor . . . . . Plus, By Yelling It, People Would Panic About Their Lack Of Afterlife And Forget To Help You Find The Thieves
Lesson #1691 - Worlds of Varying Softness . . . . . Somewhere Out There, The Carbon Planet People Are Wary Of Their Enemies, The Eraser Planet People

Lesson #1690 - Knot Secrets . . . . . You Could Also Call The Thief's Knot The "Raptor's Knot" And Then I Bet You'd Want To Know How To Tie One
Lesson #1689 - Overcompensating . . . . . I Bet People Take Incredible Offense To This After It Gets Rehosted And Don't Read What Is Underneath
Lesson #1688 - Weekend Cereal And Other Food . . . . . This Also Applies To Foods That Are Delicious But Gathering It For Preparation Can Be Hazardous To Your Health, Like An All-Grizzly Diet
Lesson #1687 - Vagrants . . . . . To Pretend To Faint Is "Chuck A Dummy", Because Hobos Used To Carry Around A Lot Of Dummies To Help Them Ride In The HOV Lane
Lesson #1686 - Multiverse Scenes . . . . . This Works Well As A Tip Of The Cap To Jon Rosenberg In More Ways Than One, Really
Lesson #1685 - Octopus Delicacies . . . . . If You Could Watch Those Videos Without Getting Shivers Or The Willies (Whatever Term You Prefer), Good For You And You Win A Prize
Lesson #1684 - Slingshotted Girls (and Boys) . . . . . At Our Camp, We Used To Have A Weekly Catapult Building Competition. Then Some Troops Started Cutting Down Decades-Old Trees For The Wood. So, That Quickly Ended
Lesson #1683 - Comical Dinosaurs . . . . . Have Some Respect For The Dead, Please, Who Brings A Joke Book To A Funeral
Lesson #1682 - Bad Machines . . . . . Would Have Referenced The Roziere Hot Air Balloon That Burst Into Flames Carrying Its Inventor, But Figured Not Enough Of You Would Know What A Roziere Balloon Was, You Philistines
Lesson #1681 - Question The Content . . . . . People With The Greatest Amount Of Bluster Often Have The Most Pintsize Understanding Of Actuality

Lesson #1680 - The Afterlife, Part II . . . . . Space Sometimes Gets Called 'The Heavens', And Apparently That Was Appropriate, But Who Knew The Norse Gods Now Reside Just Past The Asteroid Belt?
Lesson #1679 - Birthday Greetings . . . . . Get Your Fried Placenta On A Stick, Get It While They're Hot, Placenta On A Stick For Everybody
Lesson #1678 - Culinary Etymology . . . . . Stick That Turkey In Me, I Have To Gorge Myself Or The Aliens Will Be Angry
Lesson #1677 - Sleep-Training . . . . . As Opposed To Engineers Taking Naps While Careening Down The Tracks, That'd Just Be Irresponsible
Lesson #1676 - Beans . . . . . Prefried Beans: They're Magical!
Lesson #1675 - Eyes . . . . . Can Bionic Eyes Still Get Bloodshot? Or Is It A Different Color To Reflect The Electricity?
Lesson #1674 - Helpful People . . . . . Some Scientist Create The Speed Force Already, Come ON, What Are You Waiting For, Start Being Careless In The Lab Already
Lesson #1673 - Scientific Truth . . . . . No, See, You Did It Wrong, It Started When You Ignored Math And Just Kept Going From There
Lesson #1672 - Your Music . . . . . It's Like He Or She Was Singing To You Personally, How Could They Have Known You Oh So Well, It's Like You Have A Musical Stalker
Lesson #1671 - Climate Change . . . . . This Dock Is Ruined, Let's Build Another One

Lesson #1670 - Nuts . . . . . Where's My Mallet
Lesson #1669 - White Wedding . . . . . It's A Good Day For It
Lesson #1668 - The Brain . . . . . Wait, Ladies, Come Back, Let's Talk About Books Or Something And Hey, Do You Want To Come Back To My Place, By Which I Mean Come With Me To The Local Library?
Lesson #1667 - Valentine's Day Song . . . . . La La La La Tra Laaaaaaa
Lesson #1666 - Popes, Part II . . . . . There Have Been A Surprising Number Of Urbans, Though. Totally On Board With Another Pope Urban. You Should Be Too
Lesson #1665 - Popes, Part I . . . . . And Cannonball Will Serve As My Running Mate For The Office Of Biff!
Lesson #1664 - Cockroaches . . . . . Ya No Puede Limpiar
Lesson #1663 - Snow Angels . . . . . We Were Fine As A Species. Until They Figured Out How To Make More Of Themselves
Lesson #1662 - Blizzard . . . . . And Not The Dairy Queen Dessert, You Jerk
Lesson #1661 - Snowfall, Part II . . . . . This All Seems Part Of The Homosexual Agenda. First, Our Outdated Social Culture, Next, Our Precipitation, Tomorrow, The World

Lesson #1660 - The Conspiracies Conspiracy . . . . . Big Tin Foil Should Not Be Messed With, They Cut Through Their Opponents With A Razor Edge
Lesson #1659 - Exam Troubles . . . . . An Exam's Gravitational Pull Is To The Right Side Of That Chart
Lesson #1658 - Personal Rubicons . . . . . The Title Also Refers To How I Viewed That TV Show, Clearly I Was The Only One Watching And Enjoying It, Curse You All
Lesson #1657 - Gruntled . . . . . Ahhhhhhh. Note: That's A Relaxed Ahhhhhhh, Not A Scream.
Lesson #1656 - Fake Meats . . . . . Any Errors You Read In Today's STW Can Be Blamed On The Baby Presently Crawling All Over Me
Lesson #1655 - Groundhogs . . . . . Today, The Groundhog Saw His Own Shadow, Panicked, Attacked It, And Killed It, Thus Beginning A Thousand Years Of Winter
Lesson #1654 - Opinions . . . . . Oh, Just Go Stew On It Until The Next Time You Can Cast A Vote
Lesson #1653 - Company . . . . . Do You Think We're Wearing Matching Clothes? That'd Be Unfortunate
Lesson #1652 - Antidotes . . . . . Oh, You Already Knew All About Bezoars Because Of Harry Potter? Well, How Wooooonnnndddderful For Youuuuuuuu{.} Please Note I'm Being Sarcastic If You Haven't Learned Of Sarcasm Punctuation Bracketing Yet. Alas For You.
Lesson #1651 - Lobsters . . . . . Imagine A Religion Devoted To Lobsters? Immortal Beings That You Eat And Take Into Yourself? Are We Sure Jesus Is Supposed To Come Back As Human?

Lesson #1650 - Canine Evolution . . . . . Now, Please, Have Some More Homefries, I Mean Only The Best And Soon You'll Agree
Lesson #1649 - Rules of the Digital Age . . . . . Pretty Sweet Mustache I've Grown Overnight, Though, Huh? Hellooooooo, Ladies. And Gentlemen, Too, Why Not
Lesson #1648 - Crying . . . . . Oh, This 'I've Fallen Over And Can't Get Up Because I Don't Know How To Walk Or Even Get Up For That Matter' Act Is Such A Show
Lesson #1647 - Science in the Air . . . . . Oh, Wait, That's Chloroform (faint)
Lesson #1646 - Knowing Better . . . . . The Trade-off Was All The Adventures You've Been Able To Have, And Weren't Those Fun? Especially That Time You Went And Ate A Hot Dog, Boy Was That Great Fun
Lesson #1645 - Creeping People Out, Part XV . . . . . Did I Say My Name Was Matt Locke? I Meant Cal. Cal Umbo.
Lesson #1644 - Science, Then and Now . . . . . And Krakens!
Lesson #1643 - Hairstyles . . . . . Flowhawk: A Hairstyle Consisting Strictly Of Piping
Lesson #1642 - Coffee Math . . . . . d^2(Coffee)/d(time)^2 = Intestinal Acceleration?
Lesson #1641 - Coffee's Role . . . . . If It Wasn't For Coffee, You'd Have To Ask Someone If They Wanted A Soda Pop Sometime, And Come On, That'd Go Nowhere

Lesson #1640 - Unusual Plants . . . . . A Rib Garden, That'd Actually Get Me To Go Weeding Instead Of Just Running Over The Garden With The Mower
Lesson #1639 - Factuality . . . . . You Can Stop Insisting Unless You've Got Something To Hide
Lesson #1638 - Unusual Instruments . . . . . How About The Hamonica? It's A Sandwich That You Use To Play "Oh Susanna"
Lesson #1637 - Cat Lives . . . . . Poor Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Uncle Horace, How That Cat Framed You So Effectively Is Still Inconceivable, It's Like You Really Did Commit The Crime
Lesson #1636 - Quantum Immortality . . . . . YOU CAN NEVER GET ME, RAISIN DEMONS, I WILL ALWAYS FIND A WAY TO PURSUE YOU TO THE ENDS
Lesson #1635 - The Spoils of War . . . . . I Don't Want To Know The Actual History Or Origin Anymore
Lesson #1634 - Anthropology . . . . . Major League Anthropology Can Never Get Their Highlights On Sportscenter Though, It's Kind Of Sad
Lesson #1633 - Wrinkly Fingers . . . . . 2013: The Year I Wage All-Out PR War On Any Raisin's Good Name
Lesson #1632 - Units . . . . . Someone Was Drunk When Coming Up With These Names, Either That Or Coughly Profusely
Lesson #1631 - Cartilage . . . . . My Knee Needs A Bigger Boat

Lesson #1630 - Danger And Glory . . . . . This Downton Abbey Episode Is Really Getting My Heart Perilously Racing, I Best Watch Out
Lesson #1629 - Other Ways To Learn . . . . . Wait, I Needed That Bit Of Information! Aw Man, Now I've Forgotten Where I Live, But That Book Knows
Lesson #1628 - The Truth . . . . . You Can Handle It If You Beat It Into Submission Long Enough
Lesson #1627 - Coffee Lovers, Part II . . . . . Coffee Should Be Bitter Like Sibling Rivalry
Lesson #1626 - Ordinary . . . . . I'm Not Sure There's A More True Venn Diagram
Lesson #1625 - The Sound Of Coffee . . . . . Another Whole New Meaning To French Vanilla! Letting Coffee French Your Ear, Now That's Love
Lesson #1624 - Medical Research . . . . . You Don't Think I Can Drink You Under The Table? I'll Take That Bet. First, Pass The Motor Oil
Lesson #1623 - Resolution Solution . . . . . My Other Resolution Is To Not Make Any More Lesson Titles As Terrible As This One
Lesson #1622 - New Year's Hope . . . . . A Toast, Then! Wait, Why Are You Lifting That Slice Of Bread?
Lesson #1621 - Albums . . . . . Wait, How Does That Song I Like So Much Last An Hour, Not Three Or Four Minutes? Oh, Right

Lesson #1620 - Hindsight Reporting . . . . . Wait, But Do Look At Me And Look How Righteous I'm Being! Aren't I An Inspiration!
Lesson #1619 - Fun With Cats, Part II . . . . . Hairball Revenge, Sure To Come
Lesson #1618 - The States, Part III . . . . . Perhaps People Look Like Pens AND Vampires, And People Here Are Hunted By Bicula?
Lesson #1617 - Christmas Remnants . . . . . We Should Be Using Fruitcake, Not Bricks Or Wood, To Build Our Buildings
Lesson #1616 - A Christmas Wish For You . . . . . Peace And Joy Tastes Better Covered In Syrup
Lesson #1615 - Christmas Folklore, Part III . . . . . My Favorite Is Sausage-Swiper, But I Can't Blame You If You Prefer Stubby
Lesson #1614 - Christmas History . . . . . Merry Christmas, Now Put Your Back In To It And Get To Work
Lesson #1613 - Christmas Folklore, Part II . . . . . Surprising This Hasn't Caught On Everywhere
Lesson #1612 - Christmas Folklore . . . . . You Think This Is Bad? We Haven't Even Gotten In To Black Peter Yet
Lesson #1611 - Gift Giving . . . . . Here You Go, It's A Back Massager, I'm Sure You Needed One Or Something

Lesson #1610 - Christmas Cookies . . . . . Really, I Expected A Death Star, This Is Far More Clever, You Aliens You
Lesson #1609 - Candy Canes . . . . . And Then You Go And Eat Their House? What Kind Of Being Are You?
Lesson #1608 - Santa's Workshop . . . . . Perhaps It Exists On The Astral Plane? Maybe That Helps Strengthen The Possible Existence Of Elves
Lesson #1607 - Fortunes . . . . . You Don't Deserve Lucky Numbers But Here They Are Anyway
Lesson #1606 - Canine Shame . . . . . It Could Not Possibly Have Been That Tasty
Lesson #1605 - Words Of Encouragement . . . . . Um . . . Break A Brain Synapse?
Lesson #1604 - Grading . . . . . If This Intimidates My Students, It's Their Own Fault For Reading This
Lesson #1603 - Remarkable Dates . . . . . We Could Get More On Board By Letting Them Know About 69/69/69
Lesson #1602 - Christmas Crime . . . . . There's An APB Out On Krampus
Lesson #1601 - Vegas . . . . . What Goes On There Really Does Stay There, And By That We Mean The Transmission Of Funds

Lesson #1600 - Life, Student's Perspective . . . . . The Student Existential Crisis: Potentially Fake Having Solved The Problem Until The Semester Ends
Lesson #1599 - Marketing . . . . . Yes, I'll Have A Low-Fat Sugar-Free Venti Concencreation With Soy Milk And Sprinkles
Lesson #1598 - Rumballs . . . . . Screw Gingerbread, Rumballs Are The Best Christmas "Cookie"
Lesson #1597 - Engineering . . . . . In The Image? Just A Hammer With Extra Torque
Lesson #1596 - Generations . . . . . Alas
Lesson #1595 - Medicine . . . . . Amazingly Enough, Name Brand Laughterex Is Forty Times More Expensive That Generic Laughterol
Lesson #1594 - Real Life Fairy Tales . . . . . I Have To Change My Name To Briar Rose? . . . Well, OK, I Can Deal With That. Where's My Pillow?
Lesson #1593 - Bible Readers . . . . . Happy Advent, Hatemailers. Bring It On
Lesson #1592 - Animal Testing . . . . . Within An Hour, The Next Town Over Had Painted A Target, And A New Sports League Had Been Invented
Lesson #1591 - Drinking Early . . . . . It's Also Ten PM Somewhere, And You're Already Drunk

Lesson #1590 - Bribery . . . . . Well, Maybe I'll Curve The Exam Or Something
Lesson #1589 - Diets . . . . . At Least You'd Have An Excuse For Wearing Fur
Lesson #1588 - Baby Food, Part II . . . . . Permanent Markers In Food Form, Hurray!
Lesson #1587 - Coffee Love . . . . . What Is Wrong With Me? Oh, So, So Much
Lesson #1586 - Tradition . . . . . You Are In Control Of The New-Retro
Lesson #1585 - Historians . . . . . Alas, By The Time The Manatees Calmed Things Down, The Mermaids Had Already Permanently Fled To The Marianas Trench, And The Unicorns Would Not Survive Another Month
Lesson #1584 - Black Friday . . . . . And Now, 80 Percent Off All Sales If You Bring Forth A Human Sacrifice!
Lesson #1583 - Turkey Alternatives . . . . . Tofrackey: A Turkey With Connections To The Natural Gas Industry
Lesson #1582 - Flavoring . . . . . From An Alternative Timeline, PETD Is Already Protesting This Comic
Lesson #1581 - Bacon . . . . . The Bacatnator?

Lesson #1580 - Creeping People Out, Part XIV . . . . . Whoop Whoop Whoop Noise Not Required, Possibly Better Without, In Fact
Lesson #1579 - The Caternet . . . . . Five Billion Web Pages, And Nothing But Cats
Lesson #1578 - Interventions . . . . . Or At Least Until The Next Intervention We Need To Hold For You
Lesson #1577 - Clocktowers . . . . . Some People Used To Sarcastically Shout Back "Thanks" At Me, I Would Return Their Comment By Shouting "You Are Welcome And Good Morrow To You"
Lesson #1576 - All The News . . . . . . . . And We Need Them So We Can Wrap Fish!
Lesson #1575 - Exams . . . . . If An Exam Is Like A Prostitute, Some People Actually Get Their Money Refunded To Them By The Prostitute For Their Performance, And Some People Are Arrested By An Undercover Cop
Lesson #1574 - Blood Donors . . . . . What If The Red Cross Is Run By Werewolves And Not Vampires? Would We Have Seen That Coming?
Lesson #1573 - Baby Food . . . . . I Have To Admit, Though, This Green Bean Chaser Isn't Bad
Lesson #1572 - Band Names . . . . . They're Also Quite Skilled At The Trumpet, In Theory
Lesson #1571 - Inherent Creepiness . . . . . So THAT'S Why There's A Kids' Table

Lesson #1570 - Bar Etiquette . . . . . Finger Pistols Are Optional
Lesson #1569 - Persistency . . . . . There's Actually More To The "Try, Try Again" Quote, But Let's Just Ignore That For Now
Lesson #1568 - Storm Names . . . . . Can I Be Elected To This Position? That'd Be Worth Me Spending Six Billion Dollars On
Lesson #1567 - Political Nonsense . . . . . An Absurdity In Science Is Called Human Error
Lesson #1566 - A Brief Respite . . . . . Woof!
Lesson #1565 - Political Ads . . . . . We Went Far Off-Board To The Right Of That Plot A LOOOOONNNNNNGGGGGG Time Ago
Lesson #1564 - Razors . . . . . STOP WAVING THAT THING AROUND, HAVE YOU NO COMMON SENSE
Lesson #1563 - Reasons To Vote . . . . . Sometimes Pissing People Off Is A Better Motivator
Lesson #1562 - Election Season . . . . . And All The Blood And Candy! Oh, The Horror.
Lesson #1561 - Halloween For Parents . . . . . The Houses That Give Out Full Bars To The Kids Would Have More Expensive Adult Equivalent, Though

Lesson #1560 - Spooky Stories . . . . . Oh No, Not A Fear
Lesson #1559 - Halloween Candy . . . . . "No, You See, The Razor Blades In The Cookies Weren't To Hurt The Children, They Were To Keep Me From Eating Them! I Just Forgot To Take Them Out."
Lesson #1558 - Poorly Conceived Costume Ideas . . . . . I Imagine You Start Off As A Perfectly Healthy Earth, Then End The Night Having Lit Yourself On Fire
Lesson #1557 - Ghostly Hauntings . . . . . They're Not Trying To Scare You, They Just Want You To Change The Channel, Their Show Is On
Lesson #1556 - Frightening Creatures . . . . . Then There's The Other Disgusting Relation, Who You Can Probably Guess And Doesn't Really Need To Be Said Here, Does It?
Lesson #1555 - Simple Creepy Costumes . . . . . "But What Really Bothers Me Is That He Drank All The Good Beer!"
Lesson #1554 - Abstract Halloween Costumes, Part IV . . . . . Probably Just As Easily Purchased From The Salvation Army As Whatever You Were Originally Planning
Lesson #1553 - Undecided Voters . . . . . Bigfoot Always Votes The Party Line
Lesson #1552 - Experimental Hazards . . . . . Should Have Known Better Than To Do The Experiment In An Open Field During A Thunderstorm, Though
Lesson #1551 - Autumn, Part III . . . . . Pumpkin Spice Sexual Lubricant!

Lesson #1550 - Autumn, Part II . . . . . We're All In Violation Of The Good Samaritan Law, Watching And Encouraging Other Living Things To Die
Lesson #1549 - Coffee Lovers . . . . . CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Lesson #1548 - Similar Experiences . . . . . And Unfortunately, You Can Fail Both
Lesson #1547 - Weird Lives . . . . . "How Bizarre . . . Doo Doo Doo, Doo Doo Doo, How Bizarre, How Bizarree OOOOOH BABY"
Lesson #1546 - Panic . . . . . I Call This Move The "AAAAAHHHHHHHHH"
Lesson #1545 - Outlooks On Life . . . . . Practicality Should Really Be Called "Inverse Insanity"
Lesson #1544 - Spelling . . . . . Really, It's In There, Read Between The Letters
Lesson #1543 - Changing Of The Seasons . . . . . Let's Focus On The Garage Today
Lesson #1542 - Failed Pick-Up Lines, Part II . . . . . Actually, That Version Of Physical Chemistry Makes More Sense To Me Than Whatever The Class Was About
Lesson #1541 - Understanding, Non-Existent . . . . . Probably Shouldn't Write That Into The Homework Solutions, Hmmmmmm

Lesson #1540 - Failed Pick-Up Lines . . . . . Gee, I Can't Understand Why None Of The Ladies Are Into Me
Lesson #1539 - Strange Behavior . . . . . Oooooooooooooooooctober
Lesson #1538 - Not Cat People . . . . . Hey, C'mon, Cats, I'm Just Kidding, This Pot Isn't Really Meant For You. I Would Eat You Raw
Lesson #1537 - Loons . . . . . A Loon Full Of Sugar Helps The Medigull Go Down
Lesson #1536 - Cellars . . . . . Boo
Lesson #1535 - Raw Products . . . . . Sea Captains, Often Saddened At Their Mussed Hair, May Have Already Used The Shrimp Before Your Scampi Reach Shore
Lesson #1534 - Exam Time . . . . . DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED
Lesson #1533 - Back Pain . . . . . Double That With Being Almost Thirty, And Yay, Let The Depression Set In
Lesson #1532 - You Must Read This Book . . . . . BUT NOT "ANTHEM"
Lesson #1531 - You Versus An English Major . . . . . I Hope English Majors Call Books Their "Foreword Fathers", But That's Just Me

Lesson #1530 - Creeping People Out, Part XIII . . . . . That Build-A-Bear Had It Coming, It Was Only A Matter Of Time Before It Ate Somebody
Lesson #1529 - Elevators . . . . . Oh, Charlie, Your Elevator Was So Much Better, If Only All Of Them Were Like Yours. Without The Aliens, Though, I Suppose
Lesson #1528 - Really Good Looks . . . . . The Puppy's Name Was Spot
Lesson #1527 - Good Friends, Part II . . . . . This Is Not Hating On Cats. Perhaps This Is Just Rating People On Whether Or Not They Are Willing To Clean Your Goatee With Their Tongues, Have You Considered That? No, Of Course You Did Not
Lesson #1526 - Good Friends, Part I . . . . . Talk About Rewriting History
Lesson #1525 - True History . . . . . "Why Are They Upset At My Offer Of Cake? Do They Prefer Pie?"
Lesson #1524 - Cannibalism . . . . . It Was Instinct, I Swear. And Hunger
Lesson #1523 - Aches and Pains . . . . . Just Coat Me And My Bath In Taco Spice, Then Stick A Fork In Me, I'm Done
Lesson #1522 - Fire Hydrants . . . . . Dogs Also Have Far Less Of A Problem With You Using Their Bathrooms
Lesson #1521 - Home Protection, Part III . . . . . "Caution: Bears" Is Potentially Scarier, But Less Realistic, So Therefore Less Effective. "Caution: Spiders" On The Other Hand . . .

Lesson #1520 - Head Colds . . . . . Yes Yes Right Away Ugh
Lesson #1519 - Chaos . . . . . BOW DOWN BEFORE YOUR ENTROPY GOD, IT'S GOING TO MAKE THINGS NUTS ANYWAY
Lesson #1518 - Science . . . . . Certain Scientists Are Just Detectives With The Same Amount Of Blood, Though
Lesson #1517 - Conversation Location . . . . . What Is Wrong With People, Didn't Anyone Teach You Anything When You Were Kids
Lesson #1516 - New Parents, Part V . . . . . NO NO DON'T EAT THE SAND
Lesson #1515 - Fridge Theism . . . . . Please Don't Slaughter Or Bully Innocents Just Because You Disagree With My Cleaning Methods
Lesson #1514 - Dramatic Equations . . . . . If Sparks Were Shooting Out Of My Hand, That Would Have Been Even Better
Lesson #1513 - Punks . . . . . Information Age Punks, I'm Sure Everyone Behind A Computer Already Believes They Are A Part Of That
Lesson #1512 - Coffee Supply . . . . . It Doesn't Feel Like There's A Pizza Party Going On In My Brain And In My Heart, I Clearly Need More
Lesson #1511 - Plant Care . . . . . "Have Some Aphids, Boy." (days later) "WHAT HAPPENED?"

Lesson #1510 - Offices . . . . . "After All, You Don't Discriminate Against Human-Plant Hybrids, Do You?"
Lesson #1509 - Native Environment . . . . . Wait, How Can Chalkboards Mate? Where Are Their- You Know What, Never Mind
Lesson #1508 - Shipping Supplies . . . . . Cardboard Is Like An Non-Lethal Goiter
Lesson #1507 - Stupid Questions . . . . . On The Other Hand, I Am Now Dumber For Having Heard That, And May God Have Mercy On Your Soul
Lesson #1506 - Classroom Etiquette . . . . . Smashy Smashy
Lesson #1505 - Teachers, Part II . . . . . He Who Laughs The Loudest Gets The 4.0
Lesson #1504 - Fruit For The Teacher . . . . . Now Blackberries, On The Other Hand, Those Are Probably Up In The Top Right, But They've Not As Common Everywhere, I Suppose
Lesson #1503 - Teachers . . . . . Plus, Brain Wrinkles Add Texture, Which Is Far Too Often Overlooked In Fine Dining
Lesson #1502 - Freeganism . . . . . Wait, Is That Salt On That Pretzel Or Mold? Oh, It's Ants, Never Mind, That's Good Protein
Lesson #1501 - Naps . . . . . Stupid Laser Dot Won't Stay Still Long Enough For Us To Try It

Lesson #1500 - Chalkboards . . . . . Probably Suffering White Lung, At This Point
Lesson #1499 - True Meaning . . . . . Not Surprisingly, Kissing Food/Coffee Is A Lot Like Kissing An Inanimate Object
Lesson #1498 - Understanding, True Or Not . . . . . They Wouldn't Say It If It Weren't True In Someone's Mind, And That Someone Just Might Be Me! My Listening Is Important!
Lesson #1497 - Terminology . . . . . There's Hemp Rope, Why Can't There Be Ham Rope?
Lesson #1496 - Intolerance . . . . . I Suppose I Can't Blame Them For Supporting Good Ol' Neanderthal Values. Oh Wait, Yes I Can
Lesson #1495 - The Moon . . . . . Someday Soon, I Hope
Lesson #1494 - Apartment Living . . . . . And This Was Supposed To Be Such A Nice Area! I'm Sure The Dog Feels Bad About It
Lesson #1493 - Scientific Experts . . . . . Your Wealth Is Probably Equivalent To My Degrees, Though
Lesson #1492 - Humanity . . . . . Technically, It Was Just Hot Air, I Really Couldn't See It Coming
Lesson #1491 - Labcoats For All . . . . . When I Originally Bought Labcoats To Sell, There Was A Style Called "Nude Fit", Which Just Seems Like A Bad Idea

Lesson #1490 - Mathematical Calculations . . . . . Both Want To Shout Ta-Da, Though, And Who Can Blame Them
Lesson #1489 - New Parents, Part IV . . . . . Om Nom Nom Palm
Lesson #1488 - Moving . . . With Pets . . . . . Not Surprisingly, The Turtle Is Least Vocal In Complaining, Although It Will Likely Pee On Me Later, Although That Will Be More Out Of Spite Than Revenge
Lesson #1487 - Fathers and Fiction . . . . . QED Is A Far More Fun Logical Term When You Use It To Mean Other Things. Quite Excellent, Dante! Quietly Egotistical, Dinosaur! And So On
Lesson #1486 - Dinosaur Sounds . . . . . If You Throw Your Hands To The Sides Of Their Faces Just Right, Just When They Spit Up, It Increases The Effect, Although It Makes You Wayne Knight
Lesson #1485 - The Importance of Proper Punctuation . . . . . Commas, Commas, Roly Poly Commas, Commas, Commas, Eat Them Up, Yum
Lesson #1484 - Dinner Creations . . . . . Similar Meals Available All This Week In My Kitchen! Stop On By To Take It Off Our Hands And Our Tastebuds!
Lesson #1483 - Meaning and Intent, Part II . . . . . What A Lovely Pipe-Cleaner Creation, Let Me Put It In This Drawer
Lesson #1482 - Feline Idioms . . . . . ". . . I'm Waiting . . ."
Lesson #1481 - Olympic Preparation . . . . . "Is That His Tenth Lap Today?"

Lesson #1480 - Gameplan . . . . . The Best Televised Debate Ever
Lesson #1479 - The States, Part II . . . . . I May Need To Redo This Comic While Sitting On A Stonewall By Farmland
Lesson #1478 - The States, Part I . . . . . Some People Say Maine Is Along The Coast, But When The Concentration Of Long-Time Natives Drops Too Far, It Loses Its Real State Feel. Too Many Transplants There. You Need To Get Up Into The Wilderness. The Greater The Potential For Stephen King Horrors, The Better!
Lesson #1477 - Olympic History, Part IV . . . . . Voila, A Masterpiece, Now Give Me The Gold
Lesson #1476 - Cutlery . . . . . Do They Make Salad Sporfs?
Lesson #1475 - Olympic History, Part III . . . . . It Is A Little Strange That They Haven't Brought It Back, Though, Right? Beach Volleyball Is An Event But Tug-Of-War Isn't? Bizarre
Lesson #1474 - Olympic Improvements . . . . . It Would Make The Olympics A Real . . . Laser Show (OK, I'll Be Quiet Now)
Lesson #1473 - Moving Tips . . . . . This Is The Real Important Stuff To Consider, Also A Lot Easier To Hide That Goat Among The Other Furry Livestock
Lesson #1472 - Olympic History, Part II . . . . . "So When Is Your Event?" "On The Ninetieth Day Of The Olympics." ". . . Wait, What?"
Lesson #1471 - Aquatic Discoveries . . . . . Completely Forgot Christopher Moore Based A Book Partly Around This Until After I Made The Comic. 'Fluke' Is A Good Book - Go Find It At Your Local Library!

Lesson #1470 - Olympic History, Part I . . . . . Also Different - They Only Gave Out Medals For First And Second! Sucks To Be You, Third Place Finisher And First Place LOSER
Lesson #1469 - Names . . . . . If I Was Him? I Go By Xerxes For Short. Isn't That The Best Single Part Of His Name Or Am I Wrong?
Lesson #1468 - Cat Hair . . . . . Hell, We Can Go Four-Dimensional
Lesson #1467 - Manual Labor . . . . . No Sweat? Labor Some More! And Some More!
Lesson #1466 - The Olympic Spirit . . . . . Back When Shame Did Not Exist
Lesson #1465 - Working Towards Equality . . . . . Hammers Can Be Intelligently Designed, Too, I Suppose
Lesson #1464 - Legally Speaking . . . . . Classification From Your Chest Makes It A "Xyphoid Arm"
Lesson #1463 - Solutions . . . . . You Could Say A Squid, But Those Have Spikes In The Tentacles, And That's Much Harder To Explain
Lesson #1462 - Cellular Beginnings . . . . . Some People, It's The Humerus. Get It?
Lesson #1461 - Drugs . . . . . Whole Flowchart Could Probably Loop Around A Couple Times, Too

Lesson #1460 - Haters . . . . . If You Hate Someone's Face, Promise To Lend Them Yours Once Face/Off Technology Comes Through
Lesson #1459 - Musicians . . . . . I WILL ROCK YOU, WITH MY FACE
Lesson #1458 - A Baby's Joy . . . . . Am I Wearing Shorts Or Underwear Underneath The Labcoat? All Signs Point To YOU'LL NEVER KNOW
Lesson #1457 - Relationships . . . . . A Barracuda? REALLY?
Lesson #1456 - Data . . . . . Someone Needs To Check His/Her Theologicalculus
Lesson #1455 - Fossil Fuels . . . . . Is It Possible To Donate Your Body To Science So It Can Be Used In A Windmill? Like Fuse My Bones Into Windmill Blades? Just Asking
Lesson #1454 - New Scientists, Part II . . . . . Just Don't Be The Checked Luggage. You Thought It Got Cold In The Luggage Compartment Of An Airplane? Space Shuttle Is Just A Little Bit Colder
Lesson #1453 - Defensive Gameplans . . . . . LET ME OUT OF HERE
Lesson #1452 - Rebranding . . . . . Songs By The Band Cake Are Great In Silent Karaoke, To Be Fair
Lesson #1451 - The New Watercooler . . . . . Give It Ten Years, Kids Won't Know What Watercoolers Or Telephones With Cords Are Anymore

Lesson #1450 - Cuteness . . . . . Old Pets Can Be Cute, They Are The Exception
Lesson #1449 - Marco Polo . . . . . Any Restaurant That Doesn't Serve A Heavily Spiced Chicken Entree Called Marco Pollo Is A Disgrace To Restaurants Everywhere
Lesson #1448 - Home Run Calls . . . . . Uno! . . . Um, Last Card? Um, Ok, I'll Stop Now
Lesson #1447 - Self-Realization . . . . . This Is Going To Be Misinterpreted, Isn't It? Horribly Misinterpreted, Probably
Lesson #1446 - New Parents, Part III . . . . . My Time Is Not My Own Anymore
Lesson #1445 - Colorblindness . . . . . WHAT IS HAPPENING
Lesson #1444 - Mostly Full . . . . . In The Meantime, Look At Those Awesome Clouds
Lesson #1443 - Definitions, Part XXII . . . . . My Chest Hair Is Only Showing Because I'm Wearing A Tube Top Very Low On My Torso I MEAN WHAT NEVER MIND
Lesson #1442 - The Fourth of July . . . . . WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE
Lesson #1441 - Body Enhancement . . . . . "Look, Mom, I Know You Hate The Gills, But Would You Rather I Have Gotten Transparent Skin Instead?"

Lesson #1440 - "Meow" . . . . . How Did You Get A Machete?
Lesson #1439 - Power Outages, Part II . . . . . The Hero They Need, Not The Hero The Necessarily Want Mainly Because They Are Non-Sentient
Lesson #1438 - Power Outages . . . . . I Really Need To Do Some Yardwork
Lesson #1437 - Life, Calculated . . . . . Particularly Pleased With The First Term In The Equation; Will Admit The "O" Was A Last-Second Consideration To Be Added; Fifty Bonus Points On Your Homework If You Figure Out What Everything Stands For
Lesson #1436 - Romantic Sayings . . . . . Not Everything Needs To Be Said Ironically
Lesson #1435 - Claim To Fame . . . . . There Are Ranks For English Majors, Too, We'll Think Of Some, Don't Worry, You Won't Be Left Out
Lesson #1434 - Forward-Thinking . . . . . Suffice To Say It's A Clever Trick To Create The Image That One Generation Was Coddled And Spoiled, Because That's How Another Generation Wanted To Raise Them, In Order To Be Able To Make Certain Judgments On The Younger Generation's Opportunity For Amenities Previously Available To The Older Generation
Lesson #1433 - Cheesecake . . . . . No, Really, Please Call A Chiropractor
Lesson #1432 - Rational Explanations of Irrational Phobias, Part X . . . . . Have A Bouquet Of GETTING STUNG IN THE FACE
Lesson #1431 - Alan Turing . . . . . Would Have Raised A Glass While Looking Up, But He Was An Atheist, And That Felt Wrong

Lesson #1430 - Positive Outlook . . . . . OH GOD WHERE DID THIS SQUID COME FROM I LIVE IN KANSAS
Lesson #1429 - Spiritual Guide . . . . . If A Turtle Can Be Your Spirit Animal, Well, His Species Is "Cookie Monster", Therefore Cookie Monster Can Be Your Spirit Animal
Lesson #1428 - Knees . . . . . Will Betray The Human Race For Some Bionic Knees
Lesson #1427 - Lulling To Sleep . . . . . Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Lesson #1426 - Reception . . . . . The Lack Of Otter-Puppy Hybrids In This Reality Is As Disappointing As The Lack Of Platypus Comedians, Which Is To Say, It's Really Disappointing
Lesson #1425 - Fatherly Advice . . . . . Techinically, In At Least An Infinite Number Of Other Universes, You Too Are A Father, Whether You're Male Or Female Or Whatever In This Universe, So, Hey, Happy Father's Day To You, Too
Lesson #1424 - New Parents, Part II . . . . . Man, Wait Until She Can Handle Watermelon Seeds
Lesson #1423 - Dropping the Mic . . . . . STW Can Not Be Held Responsible For Your School Deciding To Withhold Your Diploma Based On Your Mic Actions At Graduation
Lesson #1422 - Monster Bites, Part II . . . . . Ba-dum-bum, I Guess
Lesson #1421 - Phrase Origins . . . . . Baby Needs A New Pair Of Shoes But I Should Probably Mention That Baby Is The Name Of My Horse

Lesson #1420 - Spy Cats . . . . . This Is How Sci Fi Channel Movies Get Proposed, People
Lesson #1419 - Heat . . . . . UGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH
Lesson #1418 - Sign-Spinning . . . . . It's All Fun And Advertising Until Someone Gets Decapitated
Lesson #1417 - Legacy . . . . . Everything You Attempt To Add To It, You're Either Working With Bricks And Mortar Or With A Sledgehammer, And You Never Know Which It Is Until You're Finished
Lesson #1416 - Monster Bites . . . . . If You Are Bit By A Witch, First Of All, That's Kind Of A Degrading Name For Your Girlfriend, And Secondly, Maybe She's Into That Kind Of Thing And Maybe You Should Just Ask Her About It
Lesson #1415 - Future Exploration . . . . . In Particular, "The Musicians" Has Always Stuck With Me, In Terms Of Short Stories From The Book
Lesson #1414 - True Friends . . . . . Wait, How Long Ago Did You Move Out Of Ohio? Oh, Come On, It Can't Be That Many Decades
Lesson #1413 - Weasels . . . . . "Tripping Over My Own Feet Is Part Of The Dance, Yes, Clearly You Know Nothing About Modern Dance"
Lesson #1412 - Fun and Games . . . . . If Mad Science Was An Actual Degree, You'd Be More Frightened
Lesson #1411 - New Scientists, Part I . . . . . And Why Not, They're Basically Making Dinosaur Noises From Birth

Lesson #1410 - Moon Hoaxes . . . . . And Please Keep Your Biped Beaver Jokes To Yourself
Lesson #1409 - People . . . . . Away With Your Chalk Of Other Colors, Away With You
Lesson #1408 - Anniversary, Part IV . . . . . It's Also Reported As The Linen Anniversary, But That Feels Like The Wrong Sexy Direction From The Third As The Leather, No?
Lesson #1407 - Learning Styles . . . . . Sprechen Sie Calc? Wait, Too Much Crossover
Lesson #1406 - Teaching Styles . . . . . Started To Make A "Boiled Knowledge"-"Key Points Distilled Out" Connection, But The Metaphor Was Falling Apart
Lesson #1405 - Parades . . . . . Be Kind To Your Fine Feathered Friends, For A Duck May Be Somebody's Mother
Lesson #1404 - New Parents . . . . . Badges Of Honor And Pride
Lesson #1403 - Unfortunate Potential . . . . . Immediate Criticsl Analysis, It's Hard To Do And That's Why We Get Misled
Guest Lecture #28 - Hallelujah the Hills
Guest Lecture #27 - Hallelujah the Hills
Guest Lecture #26 - Hallelujah the Hills
Guest Lecture #25 - Hallelujah the Hills
Guest Lecture #24 - Hallelujah the Hills
Lesson #1402 - Introductions . . . . . I Probably Shouldn't Be Here While This Is Going On, Just Let Me Step Away
Lesson #1401 - Definitions, Part XXI . . . . . Sometimes I'm Very Sorry About What My Parents And Other Relatives May Read On The Site

Lesson #1400 - Chess . . . . . Why, Yes, My Chess Set Is Made Of Pink Marble. What Of It?
Lesson #1399 - Renaming . . . . . Office Drone, On The Other Hand, Is A Terrible Term. A Lot Of Drones Are Unmanned These Days. Are You Saying Your Position Should Be Automated So That You Can Be Fired? Think, Man, Think!
Lesson #1398 - Arguing, Part II . . . . . Had An English Teacher Who Liked To Say, "The Man Who Raises His Hand In Anger Has Already Lost The Fight". It's Similar When It Comes To Arguments, Except It's More "The Man Who Raises His Voice In Idiocy Has Already Lost The Fight."
Lesson #1397 - Stupid Decisions . . . . . Stupid Decisions Commemoration Always Quickly Becomes An Anniversary Of Stupid Decisions From A Previous Year
Lesson #1396 - Relative Oldness . . . . . Back In My Day, I Was Ten Years Old And You Were An Infant, But Let Me Tell You, Things Were Way Different And You've Got It Really Easy
Lesson #1395 - Arguing . . . . . An Idiot Behind Every Keyboard
Lesson #1394 - Sleep-Deprivation . . . . . Thank You, Thank You, You're Too Kind
Lesson #1393 - Theorems . . . . . Look, I Don't Have To Understand Why It Works, It Just Does. You Don't Believe Me? Well, When Has Belief Ever Entered Into Math? HAH! Checkmate.
Lesson #1392 - Coordination . . . . . I've Got Raptor Attitude, I Don't Need A Raptor Outfit. I Don't Have A Stegosaurus Attitude, Though, As Much As I Wish. Why Are You Standing In My Way Of Capturing Certain Glory?
Lesson #1391 - Lessons For Children . . . . . Wondering If I Should Have Used "Bigot", If It's Too Weak Or Too Strong A Comic Because I Didn't/If I Had
Lesson #1390 - Spicy . . . . . Either That, Or People Are Very Timid When It Comes To Adding Spice, And Then Always Become Suddenly Very Clumsy
Lesson #1389 - Newborns . . . . . Could Be Worse. They Could All Look Like Stalin

Student Presentation #18 - Pastries
Student Presentation #17 - Party Drinking
Guest Lecture #23 - Rosscott
Guest Lecture #22 - Jessica Hagy
Guest Lecture #21 - Danielle Corsetto
Guest Lecture #20 - Zach Weiner
Guest Lecture #19 - Chris Yates
Student Presentation #16 - Potential
Student Presentation #15 - Teachers
Student Presentation #14 - Cooking
Student Presentation #13 - Fast Food
Student Presentation #12 - Confidence
Student Presentation #11 - Medium

Lesson #1388 - Birth . . . . . There's A Reason I Hadn't Shaved My Chin Since 2005, And You're Looking At It
Lesson #1387 - The Delivery . . . . . Really Proud Of The Double Meaning In The Opening, If I Do Say So Myself
Lesson #1386 - Fetus Measurements . . . . . For The Last Time, Stop Licking Your Lips While Conducting The Sonogram
Lesson #1385 - Multiple Children . . . . . Just Cross Your Fingers And Hope The Human Mom Doesn't Eat The Placenta Off The Child
Lesson #1384 - Contractions . . . . . I'm Kind Of Vamping On Pregnancy-Related Comics Right Now, Just So One's Running On The Day It Happens
Lesson #1383 - New Children . . . . . If Only You Could Have Seen The Cat's Face In This Comic, You Would Be Laughing Twice As Hard, That Is Assuming You Are Laughing At All
Lesson #1382 - Rational Explanations of Irrational Phobias, Part IX . . . . . WHY BRAIN WHY, WHY WOULD YOU BE SO CRUEL
Lesson #1381 - Fans . . . . . Someone Will Joke This Comic Is About Air Fans, To That Person I Offer A Friendly Roll Of The Eyes And Rescinding Any Comment About You Being Among The Best Fans

Lesson #1380 - Measurements . . . . . "Can't Swing A Dead Cat Without Hitting A (Blank)" Idiom Developed From The Well-Known Saying, "Can't Swing A Live Raccoon Without Getting Rabies"
Lesson #1379 - Jerks . . . . . Better Theorists Than I Will Be Able To Determine Jerk Diffusion, For Now I Will Limit My Studies To Concentrations And Solvents
Lesson #1378 - The Trouble With Pie Charts . . . . . Bar Graphs Will Be Disappointing To Them Unless They Already Grasp The Concept Of Hops
Lesson #1377 - Easter . . . . . Your Zombie Jesus Jokes Are Unoriginal And Not Wanted Here
Lesson #1376 - Dessert . . . . . ALL HAIL CAKE
Lesson #1375 - Pick-Up Methods . . . . . If You Swap Out The Cat For A Yippy Dog, A Pox On Your Potential Hook-Up If It Works, I Mean It, I Cast A Pox Down Upon You And I Hope It Burns
Lesson #1374 - Terrible Facial Hair . . . . . I Am Particularly Shaggy-Faced Right Now Because Of The "Baby Beard" I Am Growing Until Cannonball Emerges. Might Even Shave My Chin For The First Time In Seven Years To Mark The Occasion! Man, I Hope It Hasn't Evolved Basilisk Abilities While It's Been Hidden
Lesson #1373 - Learning . . . . . Man, I Hope You Can Actually Get Through It
Lesson #1372 - Television . . . . . Let's Not Get Started On Episode Recappers
Lesson #1371 - Sequel Titles . . . . . Best Movie Sequel Title Ever Might Be "Live Free Or Die Hard". Seriously.

Lesson #1370 - The Repercussions of Time Travel . . . . . When Going Back Into Your Previous Day, Would That Make It 'Yesternow'? In Any Case, That Needs To Be A Word In Everyone's Vernacular
Lesson #1369 - The Repercussions of Time Travel . . . . . When Going Back Into Your Previous Day, Would That Make It 'Yesternow'? In Any Case, That Needs To Be A Word In Everyone's Vernacular
Lesson #1368 - Age Groups . . . . . Wearing The Glasses Was A Cheap Shot, I Admit
Lesson #1367 - Pet Heaven . . . . . Neither Species Is Very Good At Playing Their Harps, But Cats Are Particularly Put Off By Being Given Wings
Lesson #1366 - Premature . . . . . Stay In, Cannonball Shepherd, Stay In!
Lesson #1365 - Irony, Part II . . . . . Weirdness Isn't Really A Superpower, Though, But That's Probably Just Because It's Not Channeled Properly
Lesson #1364 - Tiredness . . . . . Hast Thou Slain The Tiredness Monster? Oh Frabjous Day! Oh, Wait, Here Comes Another One
Lesson #1363 - Shame, Relations, and the Internet . . . . . There's A Good Control+Home+Shift Joke Somewhere, But I'm Not Coming Up With One
Lesson #1362 - Lyrics . . . . . To Be Fair, The Person Saying You've Got The Lyrics Wrong Is Also Getting Them Wrong
Lesson #1361 - Morning Showers . . . . . Just Be Careful To Balance The Coffee Temperature Just Right

Lesson #1360 - Hoarders . . . . . The Sad Thing Is The Addendum Accurately Described Several Alternate Universe Versions Of Myself. And Versions Of You. Hey, Elsewhere, We're Creepy Together.
Lesson #1359 - Other Interpretations, Part II . . . . . Yes, Yes, Your Statistics Are Very Nice, Oh, I See You Even Have A Maternity Test, But Why Would The Rhyme Exist If It Was Not True, Huh? Huh? HUH?
Lesson #1358 - Stopping Time . . . . . Stopping Time Is Just Another Variation On Super-Speed. See, I Told You That Was The Greatest Superpower
Lesson #1357 - Bats . . . . . If Someone With Bird Flu Fights Someone With Bat Flu, That Does Not Mean The Penguin Is Fighting Batman
Lesson #1356 - People . . . . . "People Are The Worst" Is Kind Of A Common Mantra Around theSwede, I'm Not Sure It's All That Calming But It Certainly Is A Little Too Easy To Repeat
Lesson #1355 - Alcohol and Sex . . . . . "And Her Proboscis! She's Just So Pretty . . . Give Me Another, Barkeep."
Lesson #1354 - Lukewarm . . . . . I've Now Effectively Slammed People Named 'Luke' And 'Chad' With The Comic, Who's Next
Lesson #1353 - Creativity (Bracket Week IV) . . . . . If You Don't Get It, Just Revel In Its Mathematical Beauty. It'll Come To You Eventually.
Lesson #1352 - Society, Oversimplified (Bracket Week IV) . . . . . The Scout Law In Boy Scouts Is Pretty Detailed When It Gets Into "Obedient" - Describing Commitment To Rules And Laws As They Are, But Also Working To Change Those That Aren't Right. How Can You Not Like "Obedient" When It's Defined Like That? Awesome.
Lesson #1351 - Thus (Bracket Week IV) . . . . . When Two Different States Are Seemingly In Being At Once, I Am Totally In Favor Of Starting Up The Saying, "Man, This Is A Real Schrodinger's Cat"

Lesson #1350 - Determination (Bracket Week IV) . . . . . This Is Not A Crack On Gender Identity, Just A Chromosome Joke - I Shouldn't Need To Make That Distinction But I Bet I Get In Trouble Anyway
Lesson #1349 - Exits . . . . . HEE-YAW
Lesson #1348 - High School . . . . . Hurray For Repression Of Independent Personal Expression, That's Really How Kids Should Learn To Grow Up, Any Other Way Is Entirely Unhealthy And Immoral
Lesson #1347 - Confidence . . . . . Was Going To Say One Fist Was Canseco But That's Too Easy A Reference For You, I'd Rather Make You Look It Up And Think A Little
Lesson #1346 - Rocky Relationships . . . . . And Not Every Relationship Will Drive You To Drink And Break Your Liver, Not Everyone Is Like Dating Cirrhosis - OK, I've Taken This Too Far
Lesson #1345 - Perspectives on Pregnancy, Part V . . . . . The Correct Answer Is "Whatever You Want, Dear, Absolutely", You Deadbeats
Lesson #1344 - Context . . . . . I Sincerely Apologize To My Grandparents, Aunts, And All Other Relatives For Using That Certain Word. Of Course, Since They Don't Look On This Page To See The Extra Joke, This Apology Doesn't Have That Much Value. I Guess Anything That Gets Typed Here Is Pretty Meaningless, In The End. Oh, Well. Anyway, How Are You Doing, Person Who Is Reading This? I Hope You Are Having A Swell Day
Lesson #1343 - Price . . . . . Also We Scientists Would Know What To Tell You We Were Working On So You'd Stay Appeased
Lesson #1342 - Fame, Part II . . . . . So You Want To Be Famous? Have You Considered . . . Hard Work?
Lesson #1341 - Getting . . . . . How Dare Everything Not Only Be Spoon-Fed To Me But Also Pre-Chewed, Digested, And Intestined

Lesson #1340 - Re-interpretations . . . . . I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO, YOU GET IN THERE AND GET IT OUT GET IT OUT
Lesson #1339 - Future Nostalgia . . . . . Back In Your Day, You'll Used To Walk Uphill Both Ways In What We Used To Call Snow But You'll Call Dry Air
Lesson #1338 - TMI . . . . . Who Is This Tim And Why Do We Keep Misspelling His Name?
Lesson #1337 - Momentous Moments . . . . . Years Of Catholic Schooling Beat Me Down On The Issue Of Liking Ties Years Ago, I Remained Defiant On Collared Shirts Until Now
Lesson #1336 - Perspectives on Pregnancy, Part IV . . . . . Hannibal Lecter Mask, If Needed
Lesson #1335 - Strategy . . . . . That Mallet Was Once A Part Of A Halloween Costume While I Was In College. Lab Coat, Goggles And Spandex = Lesser-Known Superhero "The Mallet Kid". The Spandex Belonged To My Future Mother-In-Law, Although I Wasn't Dating My Future Wife Yet. Anyway, True Story.
Lesson #1334 - Young Scientists . . . . . Everyone Who Claims They Hate Puns Are Liars, I Am Convinced. I Think Every Saturday Should Be Bad Pun Comic Day. That'll Bring In New Readers, Oh Yeah
Lesson #1333 - Creepy Stares . . . . . Hello There
Lesson #1332 - Apologies . . . . . You're Sorry That I Feel Offended? I'm Sorry For Punching You In The Groin
Lesson #1331 - Online Conversations . . . . . What If You Were Legally Required To Inform Someone Of Your Child-Dipping Barbecue Eating Habits? Take It Online, Wait For Them To Zone Out Mid-Typing, It Happens

Lesson #1330 - Rational Discussion . . . . . Passive-Aggressive Dickishness = Also Cowardly
Lesson #1329 - Feline Wisdom . . . . . Don't Ask What The Purring Means, Though, That We'll Never Tell
Lesson #1328 - Pitchers and Catchers . . . . . Screw The Robin And The Groundhog, They Don't Mean Anything Anymore, Sadly Enough
Lesson #1327 - Pursuit of Happiness . . . . . When Did "Freedom Of Religion" Become Synonymous With "Pursuit Of Happiness"? Seems A Poor Way To Prove That Your Beliefs Are As Strong As You Claim Them To Be
Lesson #1326 - Duckface . . . . . Five Pounds Of Awful On Top Of The Five Pounds Of Sexual Attraction In The Some-Odd Pound Bag That Is Your Person
Lesson #1325 - Cooking . . . . . Sweet Peppers And Corn Make Everything Better, Too. Add That In With Bacon, And Man, Talk About Solving Problems. Your Relationship Would Suddenly Come On Par With Romeo And Juliet! Except, You Know, You'd Live
Lesson #1324 - Gift Disappointment . . . . . A Healthy Looking Liver Box, Preferrably
Lesson #1323 - Valentine's Love
. . . . . Grrrr . . . Arrrrghh . . . Romannnnnnnnce . . . Braiinnnnnns . . .
Lesson #1322 - A Not Valentine . . . . . Just Realizing This Will Not Work Well If You Do Not Understand English Language Homophone Jokes. If You Do Understand Them But Don't Appreciate Them, Then You Are Just Wrong.
Lesson #1321 - Relationships, Biblically Speaking . . . . . And The Church Says Masturbation Is Immoral? Have They Read Their Own Holy Book? Genesis Would Beg To Differ

Lesson #1320 - The Morning After . . . . . O
w
Lesson #1319 - Important Knowledge, Originally Classified . . . . .If You've Never Read Any Mid-Seventeenth Century Teen Alchemist Romance Novels, Man, Are You Missing Out . . . On The Education They Provide
Lesson #1318 - Ideas . . . . . Like Athena, You Sickos
Lesson #1317 - Reality and Fantasy . . . . . Just Don't Tell Them A Dragon Is A Turtle Lit On Fire, That's Just Mean And Possibly Cruel
Lesson #1316 - Mating . . . . . There's A Reason You Teach Kids About "The Birds And The Bees", Not "The Spiders And The Other Spiders"
Lesson #1315 - Cat Litter . . . . . And It's Not A Small Fresh Fouling, Either
Lesson #1314 - Expectant Parents . . . . . The Bigger The Bottle, The Better The . . . Ok, No, I Can't Say That Or It Will Be Taken As My Actual Belief
Lesson #1313 - Headbutts . . . . . The High-Five In Primitive Form
Lesson #1312 - Perspectives on Pregnancy, Part III . . . . . "I'm Not Even Born Yet, And You Guys Are So Totally Lame"
Lesson #1311 - Solicitors . . . . . Girl Scout Cookies And Boy Scout Popcorn Do Not Count As Coming From Solicitors

Lesson #1310 - Mind Readers
. . . . . "Whoa, This Memory Must Be Particularly Painful - Oops, Now It's Gone And You've Got Other Pain To Worry About, My Fault"
Lesson #1309 - Political Discourse, Part II . . . . . We Must Lower The Devouring Baby Tax, That's The Only Way To A Better Future
Lesson #1308 - Vasili Arkhipov . . . . . Do You Think Cilian Murphy Would Play Me? I Would Totally Be OK With That
Lesson #1307 - Snakes . . . . . Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Lesson #1306 - Voter Fraud . . . . . Never Underestimate The Zombie Voting Block, They Represent A Sizeable Portion Of Constituents
Lesson #1305 - Giving of Yourself . . . . . They Claim To Patrick Swayze's Ghost, But You're Not Whoopi Goldberg, And They're Lying Anyway, Unfortunately
Lesson #1304 - The Womb . . . . . "Wombcatraz"?
Lesson #1303 - Supporting Science . . . . . "All The Cereal Box Humor In The World You Could Go For, And That's What You Chose?" Apparently I Need To Raid My Cereal Cabinet To Do These More Often
Lesson #1302 - Advancements in Science and Technology . . . . . Geneticists, Any Day Now On Those Punching Goats, Please.
Lesson #1301 - Class Elections . . . . . I Would Want To Be A Caucus, For The Record

Lesson #1300 - Creeping People Out, Part XII
. . . . . Perhaps The Child Will Have Superpowers? No, No, That's Getting Ahead Of Ourselves. Still, Time To Pick Out A Codename, Too
Lesson #1299 - The Appendix . . . . . How Could An Organ That Ends In An X Have Such A Lack Of Responsibilities? What A Let-Down
Lesson #1298 - The High-Five Theory . . . . . "I Did Not See That Coming."
Lesson #1297 - Getting A Reaction . . . . . Passivity - Some Effect On Its Own, Subtracts From All The Others
Lesson #1296 - Censorship . . . . . Wasn't Easy Getting Those Flashlights Positioned Correctly So It Wasn't Sexual
Lesson #1295 - Perspectives on Pregnancy, Part II . . . . . Like A Dante Naming His Kid 'Chaucer'
Lesson #1294 - Perspectives on Pregnancy, Part I . . . . . Oh, Cannonball Shepherd, Can't Wait To Meet You, But Stop Doing What You're Doing To Your Mother Or I'll Send You To Your Room
Lesson #1293 - Groupings of Words . . . . . Most People Probably Believe There Is No Difference Between 'Essay' And 'Rant' Once It Is On The Internet, Either
Lesson #1292 - Crossbreeds . . . . . Roll 'Em, Roll 'Em, Roll 'Em Beef-ALOOOO
Lesson #1291 - Poses While Walking . . . . . It's A Bird, It's A Plain Ol' Regular Guy

Lesson #1290 - Strong Coffee
. . . . . You Probably Drink 50 Proof. You Pansies.
Lesson #1289 - Airplane Seating Protocol . . . . . Punches May Be Transferred To Other Passengers If The Deliverer So Desires
Lesson #1288 - Definitions, Part XX . . . . . Do They Make Me Look Ravishing?
Lesson #1287 - Dependents . . . . . Always With The Pooping, What Is It With You And Pooping
Lesson #1286 - Drivers . . . . . Safety Driving Distance Is Not Some Weird Driving Version Of "Name That Tune"
Lesson #1285 - Fortune Tellers . . . . . These Tea Leaves Have Been Possessed By The Ghost Of A Root!
Lesson #1284 - Dimensionless Numbers . . . . . Moneypenny Was A Pharisee
Lesson #1283 - "What The - ?" . . . . . That Story Is 100% True, As Hard As It Is To Believe
Lesson #1282 - Political Success . . . . . Didn't Say You'd Win, Per Se
Lesson #1281 - Kids . . . . . Doesn't Matter If They're Well-Disciplined Or Not; Once They're One Friend Circle Removed, The Kids Suck.

Lesson #1280 - New Holidays
. . . . . The First Party Is At My Place?
Lesson #1279 - New Year Depictions . . . . . That Mallet Should Be In Every Comic
Lesson #1278 - Ringing In The New Year . . . . . "Auld Lang Syne" Is Greek For "Keep Your Poop Out Of My Punch Bowl"
Lesson #1277 - Elaborate Excuses . . . . . Guess I Don't Know My Own Strength. No, Really! Seriously! Feel These Muscles! Even My Thumb Has Biceps! A Gun Show!
Lesson #1276 - Sponge Dinosaurs . . . . . Granted, The Ankylsaurus I Did Get Is About As Close To A Stegosaurus As You Can Get Without Getting A Stegosaurus
Lesson #1275 - Strange Conspiracies . . . . . Actually, With How Insane And Ridiculous Some Of Today's History Seems To Be, It Might Seem More Realistic As Fiction Than Facts To Future Generations
Lesson #1274 - Timelines . . . . . Would Have Worked Dyspeptic In, But Not Enough People Would Have Understood What That Meant
Lesson #1273 - Cats . . . . . Why?
Lesson #1272 - Christmas, One Day . . . . . Easy Obvious Tie-In With The Mayan 2012 Theory, Perhaps? Perhaps Too Easy?
Lesson #1271 - Nutmeg . . . . . Granted, TWO TABLESPOONS Is A Lot Of Nutmeg. Yikes.

Lesson #1270 - The Laws of Christmas Lights
. . . . . Your Founding Fathers Did Not Write The Constitution With Rogue Christmas Light Decorators In Mind, Damnit
Lesson #1269 - Coping With Christmas Carol Fatigue . . . . . Fa La La La La La La Shut Up
Lesson #1268 - End-of-the-Year Top Ten Lists . . . . . THOSE Are The Albums You Chose? Your Computing Algorithm Sucks. I Bet It's Still FORTRAN, Isn't It? Burrrrrrrrrnnnn.
Lesson #1267 - Where The Power Lies (A Comic About SOPA) . . . . . Please
Lesson #1266 - The Wars On Christmas . . . . . Did Scrooge Save Christmas Or Did The Ghosts? I Just Want To Make Sure This List Is Correct
Lesson #1265 - The True Meaning Of Christmas Songs, Part III . . . . . "WE KNOW ALL YOUR SECRETS."
Lesson #1264 - Alternative Religions . . . . . "Actually, Your Favorite Move . . . Yeah, We Call That One 'Communion', So . . ."
Lesson #1263 - Happiness and You . . . . . HUGS FOR EVERYONE, HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS
Lesson #1262 - Card Games . . . . . "Global Thermonuclear Egyptian Rat Slap" Is A Heck Of A Mouthful, Though
Lesson #1261 - Elves . . . . . Did You Fall For The Bait-And-Switch? You Should Have Expected It, Shame On You

Lesson #1260 - Foxes
. . . . . Although We Did Use Their Species Name To Describe Hot Women, That Should Equal Out For What We've Done To Them
Lesson #1259 - Fun With Cats . . . . . The Fact That I Am Disturbed By The Thought Of A Dog Organ Is Probably Further Proof You Didn't Need
Lesson #1258 - Frankincense and Myrrh . . . . . "How Would You Like Your Eggs Done?"
Lesson #1257 - Definitions, Part XIX . . . . . Face Squinching Not Required
Lesson #1256 - Political Speeches . . . . . And Godspeed
Lesson #1255 - Scrapple . . . . . Makes You Feel Your Arteries Closing, Ever So Delightfully
Lesson #1254 - Your Chemical Romance . . . . . I Don't Even Want To Think What My Rating Score Would Be
Lesson #1253 - Best Laid Plans . . . . . If You End Up Looking Up Stuff About Hentai, I Sincerely Apologize
Lesson #1252 - Christmas Tree Needles . . . . . Nature's Tiny Boobytraps - Placed And Set By You, Stupidly Enough
Lesson #1251 - Teaching Methods . . . . . It Was All The Work Of One Mr. Billion

Lesson #1250 - Inner Monologues
. . . . . No, No, See The Noir Works Better When You're Just Saying It Inside My Head . . . YES, I'M SURE
Lesson #1249 - Recipe For Disaster . . . . . Be Careful Not To Spill
Lesson #1248 - Rational Explanations of Irrational Phobias, Part VIII . . . . . Skilled Puppeteers Can Both Hold A Knife And Make A Puppet Blink At The Same Time
Lesson #1247 - Bathrooms . . . . . Unless You Excrete Anti-Bacterial Soap, But Come On, How Likely Is That?
Lesson #1246 - Pets For Children . . . . . The Worst Part Is Having To Clean The Bear's Litter Box. Where Did You Think They Pooped, In The Woods?
Lesson #1245 - Cousin Marriages . . . . . You Really Have Your Grandmother's Eyes. And So Do I.
Lesson #1244 - Life Expectancy . . . . . Well, I'm A Male, So Already Starting At Minus-10 . . .
Lesson #1243 - Codes . . . . . You Could Maybe Make A Visual Morse Code Matrix, But Come On, That Gives Away Your Location To The Enemy
Lesson #1242 - Planetary Defense . . . . . Raptors Are Too Small, The Earth Needs Something Bigger, And Ideally Less Talkable Than Ryan North's Version
Lesson #1241 - Potential For Family Disaster . . . . . And More Than One Turkey . . .

Lesson #1240 - Flu Shots
. . . . . Whoo, A Little Dizzy
Lesson #1239 - Dog Love . . . . . Is Your Tail Wagging Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?
Lesson #1238 - Harassment . . . . . But Damn, What Glorious Skin, I Know
Lesson #1237 - Attention . . . . . Even Worse When You're Driving
Lesson #1236 - Scientific Creativity . . . . . Domesticated Armadillo . . .
Lesson #1235 - Swear Words . . . . . Less Cathartic When Bleeped
Lesson #1234 - Numerical Significance . . . . . Whatever The Best Number Is, That Should Be Prometheus, Because
Lesson #1233 - Pop Culture References . . . . . Reference Reference Reference HAHAHAHA Blearrrrrrrrgh
Lesson #1232 - Class . . . . . "TOO MUCH CLASS FOR ONE PINKIE TO HANDLE" Is Fun To Shout In A Bar, Or So I Would Believe, I Think
Lesson #1231 - Kindergarten . . . . . "How To Juice (Box) Up"

Lesson #1230 - Discussions On Religion
. . . . . Holy Cow, I Can See The Face Of Jesus/Some Other Religious Being/Entropy In Your Mouth Foam!
Lesson #1229 - Great Renown . . . . . Internet Particles Are Like Tokens, Trade Them In For A Ride When You're Ready
Lesson #1228 - Intelligent Robots . . . . . MURDER DOES NOT COMPUTE OH WAIT NOW IT DOES
Lesson #1227 - Jobs . . . . . In Retrospect, The English Degree Was Not The Best Preparation Towards Getting The Superhero Job To Pay Off The Student Loans
Lesson #1226 - Initial Romance Hurdles . . . . . INITIAL ROMANCE, People, Initial. Sheesh
Lesson #1225 - Alcohol . . . . . A Jamaican Twist On Moose Milk In My Hand, For All Those Wondering
Lesson #1224 - Shame Glands . . . . . Man, Isn't It Funny How This Happy Moment Reminds You That You Were A Miserable Failure That One Time? Hah! Good Times.
Lesson #1223 - Spicy Food . . . . . Sometimes Knowing The Fall Is Coming Makes The Peak Far More Enjoyable
Lesson #1222 - Student-Teacher Relationship . . . . . "I May Have Broken Your Child, But Look, It's An Ashtray"
Lesson #1221 - Physics . . . . . When You're Trying To Fly And Failing It Kind Of Looks Like You're Constipated

Lesson #1220 - Handicapped
. . . . . Your Beligerence Is Not A Handicap
Lesson #1219 - Computers . . . . . How Much You Want To Bet Your Computer Bosses Will Wear Ugly Soup-Stained Ties?
Lesson #1218 - Halloween Tailgating . . . . . I Wore Bright Orange Shorts Underneath The Pants In Case I Ever Got The Chance To Play
Lesson #1217 - Anti-Costumes . . . . . Oh No, Maybe You Had To Looks Something Up To Fully Get All The Jokes, What Are You To Do But Have To Learn Something
Lesson #1216 - Simple Costumes . . . . . Probably A Poor Career Decision, Too
Lesson #1215 - Ghosts . . . . . Since When Do Ghosts Leak Red From The Inside Out? Perhaps This Was A Mistake
Lesson #1214 - Costumes On The Skimpier Side . . . . . You Should Have Seen My Freudian Slip Costume From A Few Years Back
Lesson #1213 - Demonic Possessions . . . . . Sorry, Your Exorcism Has Been Delayed Under The Request Of Those Who Know You
Lesson #1212 - Graveyards . . . . . My Contribution To This Meeting Of The Midnight Society
Lesson #1211 - Getting In The Halloween Spirit . . . . . Dress Appropriately. Meaning Like How You Expect To Be Dressed At The Time You Get Bitten. What, You Were Thinking Scarves?

Lesson #1210 - Abstract Halloween Costumes, Part III
. . . . . . . . Wait, You're WHAT?
Lesson #1209 - Holy Judgment . . . . . Or Whatever Religious Alternative To Hell You Choose To Believe In, Be It Hell Or Hel Or The Bronx
Lesson #1208 - College Students . . . . . Green Boards - The Red Headed Stepchild When Compared to Black Chalkboards
Lesson #1207 - Home Security . . . . . Dog-rate, Dog Kwan Do
Lesson #1206 - Catastrophizing . . . . . And Now A Squirrel On Waterskis
Lesson #1205 - Wishes . . . . . If Wishes Were Platypi, Now THAT Would Be Awesome
Lesson #1204 - Society . . . . . I Guess, Or Something
Lesson #1203 - Fathers . . . . . "Dads" Means Dads Everywhere, Not Necessarily Multiple Dads, This Is Not NOM-Baiting, C'mon
Lesson #1202 - In-Flight Entertainment . . . . . Hello From Minneapolis, By The Way
Lesson #1201 - Sleep . . . . . I Apologize For My Rip-Roaring Snores, I Know You Can Hear Them Wherever On This Planet You Live

Lesson #1200 - Conclusions
. . . . . Those Were Mazes. Get Your Mind Out Of The Gutter
Lesson #1199 - Genres . . . . . Might Work The Opposite Direction? Making Everything Figurative? I Would Rather Not Think About The Possibility, Though
Lesson #1198 - Insight . . . . . Allegory Of A Hyperbole Of A Sham
Lesson #1197 - Peer-Reviewed Studies . . . . . Oh No, I Saw A Picture Of A Dog, Guess I Can't Finish This Calculation Today
Lesson #1196 - History . . . . . Me And An Army Of Cats Hiding Inside A Giant Wooden Sculpture, What Could Possibly Go Wrong With That Plan
Lesson #1195 - The Object Of Your Obsession . . . . . Believing Where You Sit Affects Your Team Is Roughly Equivalent To Being Super Clingy
Lesson #1194 - The Reasons For Jerk Friends . . . . . As Opposed To Caribbean Jerk Friends, Who Are Friends You Have Been Marinating
Lesson #1193 - Labcoats . . . . . I Kept A Bottle By My Desk. When That Chromatograph Sample Started Running, It Would Be Loaded, And So Would I.
Lesson #1192 - Flawless Logic . . . . . You Know Now Would Be The Best Time To Call And Say How I Love Her/Him Burp
Lesson #1191 - Choice . . . . . Odds That Someone Sees The Comic And Misinterprets It As Anti-Gay? I Put It A Lot Higher Than You Might Think

Lesson #1190 - BS
. . . . . Not The Card Game, You Asses
Lesson #1189 - Pets and the Supernatural . . . . . They Would Have Gotten Away With It Too If It Wasn't For You Meddling Kit . . tens
Lesson #1188 - Definitions, Part XVIII . . . . . CHUTZPAH - Top Hundred Most Fun Words To Say?
Lesson #1187 - Dance Moves, Part III . . . . . The Wide Open Mouth Is Key
Lesson #1186 - The First Of October . . . . . October Sophists' Day? Sages' Is Probably Better
Lesson #1185 - Sports . . . . . I Think The Stress Has Completely Burned Off Any Calories From The Beer I Had
Lesson #1184 - Dreams . . . . . Perhaps The Sandman Began Using That Rainbow Decorative Sand
Lesson #1183 - Zombie Inspiration . . . . . OK, Maybe They Landed Once Or Twice But Come On, Not Really
Lesson #1182 - Hatred . . . . . If You Disagree . . . Well, Shut Up.
Lesson #1181 - Rationality . . . . . HOW DARE YOU SAY OTHERWISE

Lesson #1180 - The Joy In Words
. . . . . Does Not Work In Reverse, Though
Lesson #1179 - Promiscuity . . . . . I Will Volunteer Myself As A Test Subject For Male Promiscuity, Because That's Clearly The Next Test To Be Done, Right?
Lesson #1178 - Libricide In The Electronic Age . . . . . What A Word. Words Like That Should Get Used More Often But For Better Things
Lesson #1177 - Feline Science . . . . . I Was Scratched Multiple Times In The Making Of This Comic
Lesson #1176 - Lavish Affairs . . . . . Based On The Wedding I Went To This Weekend; It Was In A Mansion - Kind Of Enough Said
Lesson #1175 - College Expectations . . . . . Oh, What Stereotypes Have Taught Us All To Believe And Remember
Lesson #1174 - Political Error . . . . . Occam's Razor
Lesson #1173 - At The Heart Of It . . . . . You Can't Stop Entropy, You Can Only Hope To . . . Wait Slowly As It Inevitably Comes
Lesson #1172 - Joining In . . . . . This Would Work For A Group Of Human-Weasel Hybrids, Though: "Welcome To The Confusion!"
Lesson #1171 - Media Whores . . . . . I Apologize To Every Relative For That Pose

Lesson #1170 - Mistaken Identity
. . . . . Trouble, In Fiction Cases, Is Off The Chart
Lesson #1169 - Crazy Cat Ladies . . . . . I Would Love To Meet A Crazy Owl Lady
Lesson #1168 - Feelin' Good . . . . . You Should Try It Sometime
Lesson #1167 - Language Differences . . . . . Same Bulgarian Who Had Phone Sex While I Was In The Room Because I Didn't Speak Bulgarian
Lesson #1166 - Customer Service . . . . . "Helloooooooooooooooooooooo."
Lesson #1165 - Polite Expressions . . . . . See, 'Cause They Eat Brains. Get It? No? Perhaps You Have Zombies In Your Closet?
Lesson #1164 - Definitions, Part XVII . . . . . Human Lions, We Call Ourselves, Or Would If We Knew Each Other Existed
Lesson #1163 - Duels . . . . . Ah-ah-ah, No Takebacks
Lesson #1162 - Notetaking . . . . . Tik-Tik-Tik-Tik-Tik-Tik-Tik-Tik-DING
Lesson #1161 - Etymology: Latin . . . . . If Only Evolution Was More Apprehensi(b)le

Lesson #1160 - Interpretive Dance
. . . . . "Scientist Kung-Fu Blue Rhapsody: IV"
Lesson #1159 - Love Assessment . . . . . Oh Great Wise And All Knowing Flower, May Your Random Growth Of Beauty Doth Bequeath Upon Me Romance Not Friends
Lesson #1158 - Pick-up Line Methods, Part I . . . . . Hey, You Don't Need To Get Angry About It! No Need To Be Sternum.
Lesson #1157 - Scientific Bias . . . . . "Ivory" Tower, There You Go Again!
Lesson #1156 - Ethnic Names . . . . . To Be Fair, His Body WAS A Wonderland
Lesson #1155 - Choices . . . . . The Classic Monkey Wrench For The Circle: "When Did You Choose To Be Straight?"
Lesson #1154 - Colorful Curse Words . . . . . Adding An F-Bomb Adjective To Poopbutt Is Strangely Effective And Hurtful
Guest Lecture #18 - Jason Oberholtzer (I Love Charts) . . . . .
Guest Lecture #17 - Zander Speaks (Skidmore Bluffs) . . . . .
Guest Lecture #16 - Dave McElfatrick (Cyanide & Happiness) . . . . .
Guest Lecture #15 - Hallelujah the Hills . . . . .
Guest Lecture #14 - Brent . . . . .
Guest Lecture #13 - Rosscott . . . . .
Guest Lecture #12 - Steve Wyckoff . . . . .
Lesson #1153 - Sleaze . . . . . 98 Percent Of Lawyers, Too
Lesson #1152 - Baby On Board . . . . . "And Is That Board Tied Down? Huh? Huh?"
Lesson #1151 - Chemical Engineering . . . . . Chemical Engineering: The Degree For People Who Don't Know What They're Getting Into Until It's Way Too Late

Lesson #1150 - Rational Explanations of Irrational Phobias, Part VII
. . . . . If You Misread It, You'll Think It Is A Fear Of Jose And Ozzie's Lesser Known Sibling
Lesson #1149 - Sleeping Cats . . . . . It's All That Catnip Shampoo Everyone Uses
Lesson #1148 - Schooling . . . . . It's Cool To Stay In School; Don't Become An Ass, Stay In Class
Lesson #1147 - Jellyfish . . . . . Perhaps They're Just Embarrassed By The Size Of Their Stingers
Lesson #1146 - Chickens . . . . . I Could Take On Three Chickens, Even If They Were Armed With Knives, Possibly With Guns. I'd Do My Part. Could You?
Lesson #1145 - The Native's Perspective . . . . . "Oh, So Close! Only One Street Away."
Lesson #1144 - Advanced Chemistry . . . . . Or Even A New Type Of Graffiti Paint! Man, Chemists, You Blew It This Time
Lesson #1143 - Dessert . . . . . Or: Dessert Pranks That Taste Delicious
Lesson #1142 - Moons . . . . . I Like To Imagine Both The Moons Were Sentient, They Got Into An Argument, And One Said, "Oh Yeah? I'll Show You!"
Lesson #1141 - Beavers . . . . . Hurr Hurr Hurr

Lesson #1140 - Dog Diplomacy
. . . . . Give Our Method A Try, It Might Work And Then You Can Go Chase Squirrels Together
Lesson #1139 - Backs . . . . . Worse Back Tweak: Brushing Your Teeth, Or Reaching Into The Mailbox? Both Have Happened, Both Are Stupid And Bizarre
Lesson #1138 - Dance Moves, Part II . . . . . Can't Beat The Fingerpointing
Lesson #1137 - Coffee Devotion . . . . . What's Happened To You If Coffee Leaves You Weak At The Knees? You've Been De-calf-inated!
Lesson #1136 - Hometowns . . . . . It's As Far As Our Dog Runs Allow Us To Go
Lesson #1135 - Superpowers, Part III . . . . . Superhero Codename: The Calimari
Lesson #1134 - The Benefits Of Political Rhetoric . . . . . Learn What, I Guess . . .
Lesson #1133 - Making Science Accessible and Interesting . . . . . And If You're Not Excited By It, Why Not?
Lesson #1132 - Crabs . . . . . Hey, Godzilla Started As A Lizard About The Same Size . . .
Lesson #1131 - Definitions, Part XVI . . . . . If You First Thought It Was About Urine-Based Victorian Culture, Get Help

Lesson #1130 - Sarcasm
. . . . . Oh, You've Already Been Doing This For Years? Well, Aren't You Special {.}
Lesson #1129 - Preparation . . . . . If Only We Can Figure Out The Ooze's Secret
Lesson #1128 - Political Posturing . . . . . (I don't think this comic would work as well with any other artistic medium.)
Lesson #1127 - Social Networks, Part II . . . . . Resistance Is Feudal
Lesson #1126 - Clothing Acceptance . . . . . It Plateaus For A Reason, I Hope It Worms Its Way Into Your Head
Lesson #1125 - Tripping . . . . . This One Really Isn't Going To Convince The People Who Doubt That I'm Not On Drugs
Lesson #1124 - Heart . . . . . Red Card? Well, Seems Appropriate
Lesson #1123 - The Five Stages Of Global Warming . . . . . If My Grandchildren Join The Alliance I Will Be So Disappointed In Them
Lesson #1122 - Cyborgs . . . . . If I Can Get A New Liver That Allows Me To Drink More With No Hangover, I Am All For The Cyborgian Implant Revolution
Lesson #1121 - Hollywood Logic . . . . . Being John Malkovich: Probably The Last Original Bodyswapping Tale For A Long Time

Lesson #1120 - Love and Pets
. . . . . Butt Sniffing, Well, Depends On Your Fetish
Lesson #1119 - Social Networks . . . . . The 'Plus' Doesn't Clue You In You're Trying To Be Programmed? Wake Up, Sheeple
Lesson #1118 - What Will Happen If Literalists Take Over The World (Why We Should Watch Them Closely), Part V . . . . . Some Days This Feels More Inevitable Than Others
Lesson #1117 - Destroying Marriage . . . . . Perhaps Went A Bit Too Subtle There
Lesson #1116 - Nostalgia . . . . . Now, Someone Bring Me My Teeth
Lesson #1115 - English Classes . . . . . The Opposite Of War Isn't Peace, After All
Lesson #1114 - Lack Of Substance . . . . . If This Looks Like It Was Put Together After 1 AM, Well, There's A Reason For That . . .
Lesson #1113 - Sabermetrics . . . . . My WHIP Is Pretty Great, Too
Lesson #1112 - Summer Camp . . . . . Also, Are You Contractually Obligated To Sing And Cheer At Meals? Unlikely
Lesson #1111 - Debate . . . . . Get With The Program, By Which I Mean My Approach To The Argument, Already

Lesson #1110 - Other Interpretations
. . . . . Consider A St. Bernard In The Alps . . .
Lesson #1109 - Infinite Possibilities . . . . . Tuxedos Don't Come In That Size Anyway
Lesson #1108 - Sensory Math . . . . . Just Trying To See What A Finger Smells Like
Lesson #1107 - Memory . . . . . Tsung = A Mutant Who Fired Mind Bullets. I Worry My Power Will Activate When I'm Beating Myself Up Over A Memory Someday
Lesson #1106 - Flattery . . . . . If You Are Just Learning English, Do Not Use An Actual Steamroller When Flattering
Lesson #1105 - Fireworks, Part II . . . . . Admit It, When You Set It Off And Think 'Awesome', You're Not Thinking 'I Am Such A Patriot By Doing This'
Lesson #1104 - International Awareness . . . . . Bet This Ticks Off "The Fish"
Lesson #1103 - Common Ground . . . . . Here, We Run On Strawberry Rhubarb Time!
Lesson #1102 - Ticks . . . . . GET IT OFF, OH WAIT NOW THERE'S BLOOD, IT REALLY IS A TICK, OH GOD
Lesson #1101 - Renumbering . . . . . STW Now Presented By Dirk Simons!

Lesson #1000 - The Tools Of Your Trade
. . . . . The Sword Is The Worst Tool? Discuss
Lesson #999 - Creeping People Out, Part XI . . . . . No, No, Barkeep, That Was My Friend's Tab
Lesson #998 - Future Science . . . . . Hopefully Only A Few Missteps On The Way
Lesson #997 - Polymer Foams . . . . . This Can't Possibly Go Wrong
Lesson #996 - Gay Marriage . . . . . If This Comic Offended You, I Look Forward To The Debate You End Up Having With Your Grandchild So Many Years From Now
Recitation #100 - What Is Life? . . . . . You Can Hop On Just One Leg,You Can Bring Along A Keg
Lesson #995 - Free Speech . . . . . Shut Up, 'Cause I Don't Want To Hear It
Lesson #994 - Medical School . . . . . My Shark Teeth Impression: Basically My Salmon Teeth Impression, To Be Honest
Lesson #993 - Definitions, Part XV . . . . . Get Out Of My Petunias, Dang It!
Lesson #992 - Lifetime . . . . . You Have To Get To The End, You Can Always Backtrack Out Of Any Dead Ends
Lesson #991 - Fathers . . . . . Facial Expression Dancing Also Important

Lesson #990 - Embarrassing Your Children
. . . . . Also Applies To Spouses. Sorry, theSwede.
Recitation #99 - Don Quixote . . . . . Windmill Dragon: Also A Good Drug Name
Lesson #989 - The Sports Fates . . . . . My High School Yearbook Life Goal: "To See The Red Sox Win The World Series In My Lifetime." I Need A New Life Goal.
Lesson #988 - Interpretation . . . . . Bloo-Bloo-Bloo-Bloop!
Lesson #987 - Poses . . . . . Humans In Animal Poses: Hairball Free!
Lesson #986 - Internet Comments . . . . . Q.E.D. = Quite Eloquent, Dungmuncher
Lesson #985 - Truth From The Details . . . . . Bonus Points Awarded For Wrestling While Coated In Honey (Non-Sexually, Mind You)
Lesson #984 - Political Discourse . . . . . Don't Ask Who The Umpires Are; This Metaphor Is Bound To Fall Apart If You Do
Recitation #98 - Rainbows . . . . . Indigo Still Gets No Love In There
Lesson #983 - New Realities . . . . . "Hoo": It's Like A Verbal Grunt Of Mild Awe
Lesson #982 - Terminology . . . . . Individuals: Systemic Deviants
Lesson #981 - Entertainment . . . . . That Cat Has Suprisingly Amazing Trash Talk

Lesson #980 - Mental Processing
. . . . . Now Imagine A Teacher Seeing Those Faces!
Lesson #979 - Coffee . . . . . We Break Coffee's Trust When We Drink It, But It Gets Its Revenge Later On Internally
Lesson #978 - Liquid Nitrogen . . . . . Science Hipsters: Sure, Liquid Nitrogen Used To Be In Style, But Liquid Hydrogen Is Really Where It's Cool, Er, In Vogue
Lesson #977 - Playoff Beards . . . . . Come On, Higgs Boson, Where Are You? I Want To Shave Already
Lesson #976 - Corn . . . . . Why Why Why Why Why WHY
Lesson #975 - Self-Defense . . . . . Ooh, The Specks In It Are Shiny!
Lesson #974 - Anniversary, Part III . . . . . My Whips Are, Um, In Storage
Lesson #973 - Violence . . . . . And The Homework Assignments!
Lesson #972 - Household Appliances . . . . . Coming Soon: Sanity Barometers aka Cats!
Lesson #971 - Women's Rights . . . . . Your Lacrosse Is Already Better, Ladies, We Need Some Way To Even Up With You
Recitation #97 - Addicted To Love . . . . . The Older You Get, The More Willing You Are To Buy It Off The Streets, Right?

Lesson #970 - Size Matters
. . . . . I Promise I Won't Claw At You, Baby
Lesson #969 - The Strength of a Marriage . . . . . So Many Assholes Concerned About Assholes
Lesson #968 - Underrated Benefits of Hard Work . . . . . Why Do We Say Zombies Focus On Eating Brains? They've Always Been Organovores
Lesson #967 - The Danger Of Talking Animals . . . . . And We Even Call A Group Of Them A "Confusion", Could We Be More Cruel
Lesson #966 - Post-Rapture Thoughts . . . . . Well, This Is Awkward
Lesson #965 - Wedding Misbehavior . . . . . . . . Reason #1,436 . . .
Lesson #964 - Types of People . . . . . That Pilkington Joke Was A Total Accident
Lesson #963 - Bees . . . . . Jerky, Necessary-To-Planet's-Existence Bees
Lesson #962 - Okay . . . . . Is That A Banana In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Nonchalantly Agreeing With Me?
Lesson #961 - Shame . . . . . Is "Lack Of Shame" Degree A Compatability Factor On Dating Sites? It Should Be

Lesson #960 - The Rapture
. . . . . Hey, This Isn't What The Mayans Predicted
Lesson #959 - Passive-Aggressive . . . . . If You've Ever Dated, You Ate It Once
Lesson #958 - Sign Language, Part II . . . . . The "Bi" Or "Gay" Thinking Pose Is Too Complicated, That's All
Recitation #96 - Fishmen . . . . . A Tentacle-Based Race Of Fishmen? Lobster-Claw-Based Race? Or All Mortal Enemies?
Lesson #957 - The Creepiness Principle . . . . . Wait . . . Wait . . . Wait . . . OH GOD
Lesson #956 - Presentation Enthusiasm . . . . . Yes, My Question Is, Stop Creeping Me Out
Lesson #955 - Kindergarten Wisdom . . . . . No Laser Beams For Eyes, Either!
Lesson #954 - Paranormal Abilities . . . . . Not Exactly Jean Grey
Lesson #953 - High School Reunions . . . . . A Chance To Be Old But Stupid Again
Lesson #952 - Origins of Alcohol . . . . . Trial And Error Is Still Science
Recitation #95 - Searches For Knowledge . . . . . Your Thirst For Knowledge Hates Snakes
Lesson #951 - Human Interaction . . . . . Piles Of Filled-In Discarded Laboratory Notebooks; Also Known As Diaries

Lesson #950 - Hello
. . . . . "Um . . . Who's Answering?"
Lesson #949 - Perceptions . . . . . And Cotton Candy And Perfect Relationships!
Lesson #948 - Respect . . . . . Proud To Be A Non-Card Carrying Member Of The Atheist And Otter Communities
Lesson #947 - Reincarnation . . . . . Yeah, I Said A Yeti, Don't Judge Me
Lesson #946 - Entitlements and Settlements . . . . . Sucks To Be Tall Unless She's Taller
Recitation #94 - Procrastination . . . . . Hey, Let's Go Ride Bikes!
Lesson #945 - The Time Travel Solution . . . . . Quantum Physicists, You Are The Exception
Lesson #944 - Understanding Art . . . . . Not That Far From Performance Art
Lesson #943 - Attraction . . . . . Based On More Than One True Story
Lesson #942 - Backhair . . . . . The "Well, Hello!" One Wouldn't Be Bad
Lesson #941 - Dimensional Analysis . . . . . The 7th Dimensions Is, Well, Hey, Look At The Time, I've Got To Go

Lesson #940 - Hydration
. . . . . First Time: "Whoa, Look At That . . . I Hope That Doesn't Mean Repercussions Tomorrow"
Recitation #93 - Bananas . . . . . Bananananananatman
Lesson #939 - Delicacies . . . . . Nom Nom Nom
Lesson #938 - Failing . . . . . GAH STOP IT NOW PLEASE
Lesson #937 - Teaching Evolution . . . . . You Can Speed Up The Process Through My Children, I Give You Permission
Lesson #936 - Creeping People Out, Part X . . . . . Number 10 In A Continuing How-To Series
Lesson #935 - Disappointment . . . . . Heck, Even You 100-Year-Olds To Be
Lesson #934 - Science . . . . . Let's Go Experimenting!
Lesson #933 - Prepping For The Apocalypse . . . . . You Can Still Shoot Them In The Head If You Need To
Lesson #932 - Programming . . . . . IF Idiot THEN Jerk
Lesson #931 - Hugs . . . . . Hugs, Even From Pugs, Not Drugs

Lesson #930 - Multilingual
. . . . . Screaming Is Universal "Help" But Not Really
Lesson #929 - Intelligent Discussions . . . . . In Your Itty Bitty Hooves
Lesson #928 - Downloading . . . . . I Don't Support It; But Promoting "Pirating" Was An Incredibly Dumb Choice
Lesson #927 - Demands . . . . . Hey, Where's The Back-up Plutonium?
Lesson #926 - Whaling . . . . . When You Grew Up With Sports Teams Nicknamed "Whalers" Around You, It Feels Much More Ancient Than It Really Is
Lesson #925 - Numerology . . . . . Eight: Just The Infinite In A Poor Disguise
Lesson #924 - Mermaids . . . . . Best Excuse For Barnacle STDs Ever
Lesson #923 - Statistics . . . . . BOW DOWN BEFORE THE PIE CHART
Lesson #922 - School Dances . . . . . And Your Imaginary Dance Partner ALWAYS Looks Ravishing
Lesson #921 - Offense . . . . . I DARE SAY, HOW DARE YOU, SIR
Recitation #92 - Idiots . . . . . Personally I Hope It's A Romantic Comedy

Lesson #920 - Ruminations On Opening Day
. . . . . I Don't Care If I Ever Get Back
Lesson #919 - Willful Logic . . . . . No, Really. Please Look At The Facts.
Lesson #918 - Objectives . . . . . No, Really, Please Keep Your Shirt On
Lesson #917 - Armadillos . . . . . Giant Armadillos, Much Less Cute
Lesson #916 - The Origin Of Species . . . . . Teach This Countertheory In Schools!
Lesson #915 - The Perfect Murder, Part II . . . . . No, No, That's How Caviar Always Tastes
Lesson #914 - Bodily Intake . . . . . Don't Make Me Come In There, Body
Recitation #91 - Sleeptalking . . . . . Sleeptrapping: Why Ackbar Is On Watch
Lesson #913 - Writer's Block, Part II . . . . . Writer's Block: The Bouncer To The Club Of Decent Ideas
Lesson #912 - Knots . . . . . A Granny Knot? You Take Pride In Your Amateur Man Status, Apparently
Lesson #911 - Rules For Pet Owning . . . . . Instead Of A Toy, Here Is My Back

Lesson #910 - The Individual
. . . . . Oh, Don't Mind Me Over Here
Lesson #909 - Reactions To Information . . . . . Note: "Some" Scientist, Not "A Little"
Lesson #908 - Life, And Then . . . . . OH GOD THE WRONG DIRECTION
Recitation #90 - Basic Math . . . . . There're Better Ways To Get Noted For Your Wisdom And The Clever Things You Do, Kid
Lesson #907 - College Majors, Part II (Bracket Week III) . . . . . The Ivory Tower Tournament?
Lesson #906 - Demands (Bracket Week III) . . . . . The 72 Ounce Size, Please
Lesson #905 - Culinary Mayhem (Bracket Week III) . . . . . Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Lesson #904 - Inception (Bracket Week III) . . . . . "C'mon, Brain, More Far-Fetched This Time!"
Lesson #903 - Slippery Slopes . . . . . Apparently We're Surrounded By Slides
Lesson #902 - On Your Own . . . . . He's/She's/They're Gone! Time To Get To Holding Bottles With My Toes Again!
Recitation #89 - Sex Scenes . . . . . Wait, This Is A Porn Film . . .
Lesson #901 - When In Doubt . . . . . And You, Sir, Are Not The One

Lesson #900 - Originality, Part II
. . . . . "You Always Suggest Hooking Our Enemies In The Gills! Don't You Have Any Other Suggestions?"
Lesson #899 - Dream Girl . . . . . Even You, Ignatius, Although Granted, It's Extremely Unlikely In Your Case
Lesson #898 - Inbreeding . . . . . "The Future Depends On Us, Sis!"
Lesson #897 - Euphemisms . . . . . Once Everyone Is Perverted . . . No One Is
Lesson #896 - X-Ray Vision . . . . . I Will Admit, You Are Impressive, But Would You Mind Wearing Lead-Lined Boxers?
Lesson #895 - Superpowers, Part II . . . . . High Correlation To People Who Work On Their "Moo-Hah-Hah" As Well
Lesson #894 - Evolutionary Processes . . . . . That's Right. Someday: Zombie Monkeys
Lesson #893 - Time Travel Conundrum . . . . . How Will You Ever Know The Truth?
Lesson #892 - Periods . . . . . Not A Great Superpower, Admittedly
Lesson #891 - Creeping People Out, Part IX . . . . . "And The Hat?" "Oh, That's My Turtle."

Lesson #890 - Beards
. . . . . The "I'm Bad At Shaving, This Is A Beard Made Of Blood And Scabs And Cuts"
Lesson #889 - Free Stuff . . . . . "Sure, But You Know You Want It"
Recitation #88 - Using It And Losing It . . . . . And If You Use "It" For Him/Her/Them Well, Then, No, You Won't Lose It!
Lesson #888 - Pet Attire . . . . . Jeans For Me, And Loss Of Dignity For You!
Lesson #887 - Where The Problems Lie . . . . . A Moodier But Better Place?
Lesson #886 - Your Beliefs And Others' . . . . . (And Can't Handle Their Beer)
Lesson #885 - What Will Happen If Literalists Take Over The World (Why We Should Watch Them Closely), Part IV . . . . . Now Let's Try It With Hydrochloric!
Lesson #884 - Organ Donors . . . . . But Such Personal Endearment To It!
Lesson #883 - Stupid Questions . . . . . May God Have Mercy On Us All For You Having Asked That Question
Recitation #87 - Air Guitar . . . . . Air Trumpet Just Looks Weird
Lesson #882 - Balding . . . . . A Buzzcut = Follicle Meteroid
Lesson #881 - Your Potential Future . . . . . Hah! Like That's An Option For YOU.

Lesson #880 - The Creepiness Of Potential Relationship Initiation
. . . . . Let's Just Cut To The Chase And Discuss Recessive Genes
Lesson #879 - Valentine's Day Perspective . . . . . A Reason Or A Reminder In Leather?
Lesson #878 - Spring . . . . . "Play Ball" - Best Two Word Phrase?
Lesson #877 - Reactions For New Parents . . . . . The Reactions Of The Nurses And Doctors Would Be Priceless, Though
Student Presentation #10 - Writing Essays For College Applications . . . . .
Student Presentation #9 - Chemistry Career Advice . . . . .
Student Presentation #8 - Psychoanalyze That . . . . .
Student Presentation #7 - Accepting Christmas Gifts . . . . .
Student Presentation #6 - Fairy Tales . . . . .
Lesson #876 - Home-Schooling . . . . . You Can Watch The Snow From Inside
Recitation #86 - Butterflies . . . . . Let Me Google That For You
Lesson #875 - Why Pets Exist . . . . . theSwede Dances By Standing In One Place With Only A Slight Amount Of Rotation
Lesson #874 - Advances In Robotics . . . . . That First Sentence Screams Innuendo
Lesson #873 - Overeating . . . . . We'll Be Here All Night Til You Get It Right!
Lesson #872 - Time Of Day . . . . . The Wee Hours Were Named After Drunks Who Realized They Needed Bathroom Breaks
Lesson #871 - Radiation Therapy . . . . . Hey, What About "New Jersey"?

Lesson #870 - How To Irritate People
. . . . . Or Get Others To Remind People Of You
Lesson #869 - Airport Security . . . . . Or Jimmy Buffet's "Why Don't We Get Drunk And Screw", For That Matter
Lesson #868 - Truth and Confidence . . . . . Truth vs. Delusion, On The Other Hand . . .
Recitation #85 - Casseroles . . . . . Beef, Onion, Almond and Heart Casserole
Lesson #867 - Political Promises . . . . . WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?
Lesson #866 - High Notes . . . . . LAAAAAAAA LA LA LA
Lesson #865 - Ad Hominem . . . . . What A Jerky Argument To Make, Anyway
Lesson #864 - Writing Potential . . . . . Or An Anthropomorphic Box!
Lesson #863 - Healthy, Long-Lasting Relationships . . . . . Happiness Is A Given, Expected Factor
Recitation #84 - Mothers . . . . . True Fact: I Was Almost 10 Lbs At Birth
Lesson #862 - Middle Aged . . . . . Life Comes With Climbing Gear
Lesson #861 - The Stork . . . . . Why Don't We Say That If You Have Chlamydia, You "Have Clams"?

Lesson #860 - Groundbreaking
. . . . . Yo Yo Yo
Lesson #859 - Proof . . . . . Tissues For Intergalactic Sneezes!
Lesson #858 - Death Of Reading . . . . . Insults For The Dog: Out, Damn Spot!
Lesson #857 - The Rest Of The Thought Behind The Sound Bite . . . . . Now, A Reading From The Necronomicon
Recitation #83 - Mating and Creating . . . . . Attack, My Platypi! Attack!
Lesson #856 - Cthulhu . . . . . The Secret Password Is Always "Octopus"
Lesson #855 - How Old You Are . . . . . There Might Be A Secondary Overlap Region
Lesson #854 - Religious Roots . . . . . If It's In The Bible, It Can't Be A Curse Word
Lesson #853 - Nobody's Perfect . . . . . You Catch More Flies, Oxygen & Daydreams
Lesson #852 - Love Is . . . (Part III) . . . . . Or You're Frozen In Carbonite
Lesson #851 - Science's Capabilities . . . . . Or Body Swapping Devices
Recitation #82 - Not Interested, Ever . . . . . See This Tree? Totally The Wrong Bark.

Lesson #850 - Mental Focus (A STW Connect-The-Dots Puzzle)
. . . . . Let's Ride Bikes!
Lesson #849 - Children's Moral Entertainment And Education . . . . . My Fine Feathered Mama
Lesson #848 - Bad Hair Days . . . . . Don't Even Go Into Split Ends
Lesson #847 - Extreme Rephrasing . . . . . There Is Also Now A Musical Component
Lesson #846 - Animal Instincts . . . . . And Then The Vacuum Stopped Working
Lesson #845 - New Year's Day Morning . . . . . And No Plagiarizing On Those Exams
Lesson #844 - Midnight, New Year's Eve . . . . . Not Want To Feel = Leaning Over A Toilet
Lesson #843 - Music For All . . . . . Bwah-Ha-Ha Should Be Shouted In Most Every-Day Conversations
Lesson #842 - Desirable Features . . . . . Na Na Na Na Na Na
Lesson #841 - A Handy Mid-Conversation Mental Map . . . . . Ride Like The Wind, Thor Pegasus!

Lesson #840 - Guard Animals
. . . . . Beware The Attack Flounder
Lesson #839 - The Day After . . . . . Hey, There's A Resolution Idea
Lesson #838 - Holiday Sentiments . . . . . Even Inanimate Objects
Lesson #837 - Christmas Evil . . . . . 99 Bottles Of Christmas Beer On The Wall
Lesson #836 - Holiday Spirit . . . . . Wouldn't It Get Impaled On A Rib?
Lesson #835 - Christmas Specials . . . . . Talk About Grading On A Curve
Lesson #834 - Real . . . . . Now Let's See . . .
Lesson #833 - The Aging Process . . . . . A PLANT EATER? Oh, How Lame.
Lesson #832 - Moral Persistence . . . . . What's Next?
Lesson #831 - Spirits . . . . . I Ordered the GOOD Swill, Not This Crap
Recitation #81 - Sleeping Cats . . . . . Machine of Death says: "CAT PILLOW"

Lesson #830 - Major Magazine Awards
. . . . . This Will Accidentally Tick Off Women, I'm Practically Guaranteeing That
Lesson #829 - Demises . . . . . Oh, It's You Again
Lesson #828 - Things That Shouldn't Need To Be Said . . . . . Oh, It's Plainly Obvious That You Don't Care
Lesson #827 - Cats On The Internet . . . . . Don't Be An Enabler
Lesson #826 - Attacked . . . . . What A Way To Go
Lesson #825 - Censorship . . . . . Hyp, Hyp, Hypocrisy!
Recitation #80 - Easy Street . . . . . That's Where We're Gonna Be
Lesson #824 - Creeping People Out, Part VIII . . . . . Oh, I Will Make It Fit
Lesson #823 - Definitions, Part XIV . . . . . Drooling In Pain
Lesson #822 - Scenes From Daily Life . . . . . Fast Visual Editing Would Help
Lesson #821 - Santa Claus . . . . . Ho Ho Ho
Recitation #79 - Advertising Your Organization . . . . . We Fetch You, We Catch You

Lesson #820 - Prowess
. . . . . You're A Little Too Focused On My Neck . . .
Lesson #819 - Tattoos, Part II . . . . . Bite On Fake Tooth In Case Of Angry Father
Lesson #818 - Puppets . . . . . You Can Be My Marionette Anyday Baby
Lesson #817 - Morning People . . . . . AND HOW DO YOU DO
Lesson #816 - What If . . . ? . . . . . Autobiographical Fiction
Lesson #815 - Grander Scale . . . . . No Bounces Allowed
Lesson #814 - Awards . . . . . Here's A Certificate Just For Existing
Lesson #813 - One View Of The Afterlife . . . . . Ruling With Tasty Kindness
Lesson #812 - Holiday Family Reunions . . . . . Cue The Banjo Music
Lesson #811 - Thanksgiving Parenting . . . . . And You Can Get Really Crazy "Pilgrim Hats"

Lesson #810 - Hollywood and Religion
. . . . . Jesus III: Jesus Hard With A Vengeance
Lesson #809 - Comprehension of "*!%#&*^@*!#*" . . . . . "Douche" Is The Much Much Tamer Version
Lesson #808 - Family Anniversaries . . . . . Take That, Hollywood
Lesson #807 - Lies Your Parents Told You . . . . . And You Don't HAVE To Wear Spandex
Lesson #806 - Cursing, Part III . . . . . You Mother Codswallopers
Recitation #78 - Major Life Decisions . . . . . Ask A Magic 8-Ball Before Asking Me
Lesson #805 - Home Protection, Part II . . . . . Stop Thief Or I Will Throw This Porcupine
Lesson #804 - On The Brink Of Insanity . . . . . Neither Way Is Really Uphill Or Downhill
Lesson #803 - Questionable Meaning . . . . . Molds Defeat The Idea Of Being Unique
Lesson #802 - Living . . . . . Go G Major On Conformity
Lesson #801 - Ethics in Science . . . . . I Hope The Research Was To Get Support From The Crazy Old Cat Lady Voting Bloc

Lesson #800 - Assholes
. . . . . Go Into A Book And Stay There, You Jerk
Recitation #77 - Curving The Test . . . . . See, A Fastball Test Doesn't Curve. Get It?
Lesson #799 - Pat-downs . . . . . It Actually Is A Banana In My Pocket
Lesson #798 - Yoga . . . . . White Sheets = Best Exercise Apparel Ever
Lesson #797 - Source of Superpowers in the Fictional Human Body . . . . . Can Never Underestimate Heart
Lesson #796 - Victory Dances . . . . . If You Lose You Have To Dance Well
Lesson #795 - Virgin Offspring . . . . . Perhaps How They Make Certain Olive Oils
Lesson #794 - Aliases . . . . . "-icus" Also Works Instead Of "-imus"
Recitation #76 - Laboratory Relations . . . . . And If You Don't Do It In The Lab, Maybe
Lesson #793 - Really Bad Days . . . . . One Tentacle Is All You Need (Wink Wink)
Lesson #792 - The Burden of Proof . . . . . The Pudding May Or May Not Be In The Pie
Lesson #791 - The Ballot . . . . . Ryan North's T-Rex Is Not A Lizard Person

Lesson #790 - The End Of The World
. . . . . Please Stop Stockpiling Zombie Repellent
Lesson #789 - Trick-or-Treating Fun For The Candy Givers . . . . . Nothing Says Fear Like The Fetal Position
Lesson #788 - Zombies vs. Vampires vs. Fishmen (Oh My) . . . . . Renaming Them "Tentacle Beasts" Only Appeals To The Creepy Pornography Fans
Recitation #75 - Head-and-Neck Only Halloween Costumes . . . . . It's All In The Delivery
Lesson #787 - Jack-O'-Lanterns . . . . . PREPARE FOR YOUR LOBOTOMY!
Lesson #786 - Halloween Enjoyment . . . . . Works On Several Horizontal Levels, Too, If You Catch My Insinuation
Lesson #785 - Abstract Halloween Costumes, Part II . . . . . You Want To Be WHAT?
Lesson #784 - The Demands Of Halloween Costumes On Parents . . . . . You Want To Be WHAT?
Lesson #783 - Halloween Costume Planning . . . . . Try Adjectives If You're Daring Enough
Lesson #782 - Facial Hair, Part II . . . . . Also "Lost A Bet"
Recitation #74 - Defenses . . . . . Would Love To See Someone Set A Pick
Lesson #781 - Gangs . . . . . More Than A Couple Steps Back

Lesson #780 - Conservation
. . . . . Humor-chlorian Count Units
Lesson #779 - A Public Service Announcement . . . . . Doo Doo Doo Doo
Lesson #778 - Carrots . . . . . We Probably Only Have Canals Because Of Them Too!
Lesson #777 - Patience With Dogs . . . . . Take A Bite Out Of Noir
Lesson #776 - Expectations . . . . . Not Everyone On The Internet Thinks Everyone Else Is A Douche, But Some Do
Lesson #775 - Dealing With Internet-Based Customer Service . . . . . No, Really, Darn You, Bluehost
Lesson #774 - Career Choices . . . . . "Lube" Is Better Than "Surfacto"
Lesson #773 - Finding Targets . . . . . I Blame You, Curt Flood
Lesson #772 - Popularity . . . . . Most Popularity Is Negative, Anyway
Lesson #771 - Truth . . . . . True In Another Universe, Though

Lesson #770 - Weird
. . . . . Normal Is Passe
Lesson #769 - Happiest Days . . . . . Doesn't Mean It Can't Be A Good Day
Recitation #73 - Good Girls and Bad Boys . . . . . I've Known Some Bad Girls In My Time
Lesson #768 - The Science of Winter . . . . . It's A Research Study For Venkman
Lesson #767 - Weather From Hell . . . . . Rain Down On You Like A Holy Terror
Lesson #766 - God and Man, Part II . . . . . Maybe God's Reflection? Whoa, That's Deep
Lesson #765 - Procrastination . . . . . That Glow Is Very "War Games"
Lesson #764 - Social Power . . . . . Everyone Makes Fun Of The Four-Eyed Man
Lesson #763 - Tastebuds . . . . . More Like Tastebros, Am I Right?
Lesson #762 - The Vote . . . . . What Do You Have To Lose?
Lesson #761 - Slugs . . . . . That Dead Slug, He Was Assaulted

Lesson #760 - Definitions, Part XIII
. . . . . Hey, It's Better Than Douchebag
Lesson #759 - Meta Comedy . . . . . Laugh With Me! No, Really!
Lesson #758 - Religion . . . . . Or Dairy Acolytes
Lesson #757 - Bumper Stickers, Part II . . . . . There's A Joke-Her Joke In There Somewhere
Lesson #756 - Drinking . . . . . Drink A Forty, Get To Eighty
Recitation #72 - Robot Uprisings . . . . . No "Must Destroy Humans" No No NO NO
Lesson #755 - Muses . . . . . Yellow Isn't Half Bad
Lesson #754 - Doing The Right Thing . . . . . Nerves Too, But They're Everywhere
Lesson #753 - The Heimlich . . . . . At Least You Can't Scream In Pain
Lesson #752 - Team Names And Slogans . . . . . Or That Will Be On My Sign At Rallies
Lesson #751 - Pirates . . . . . The Sea Be A Cruel Mistress, Just Like God

Lesson #750 - Interpretations
. . . . . Psychiatry Is Entirely Contained In That Box
Recitation #71 - Dinosaur Mating . . . . . Sex Certainly Left Them Sore-Us
Lesson #749 - Inspiring Others . . . . . Or They Wanted You To Go Pet Celebrities
Lesson #748 - Love Is . . . (Part II) . . . . . Sex Kitten Parallels Are Too Obvious
Lesson #747 - All Things Considered . . . . . Could You Get Hooked On Panda, Anyway?
Lesson #746 - Estrogen . . . . . Doses Of Steroids To Balance Out Your Meal
Lesson #745 - Meeting New People . . . . . Easier To Be A Wallflower Than Say Hi
Lesson #744 - Punditry, Part II . . . . . Or Bill and Ted
Recitation #70 - Iambic Pentameter . . . . . There Once Was A Man From - Ah, Forget It
Lesson #743 - Fun With Lasers . . . . . How Did The Cat Litter Get Dirty, Then?
Lesson #742 - Medicine On The Internet . . . . . I Must Have SARS!
Lesson #741 - Definitions, Part XII . . . . . At Least They Can't Dress A Certain Way

Lesson #740 - The Living Dead
. . . . . Really It's Still A Horror Story
Lesson #739 - Roundness . . . . . One Letter Off From HMS
Lesson #738 - History Lessons . . . . . And How Their Lives Compare, I Suppose
Recitation #69 - Woodchucks . . . . . I Bet The Animals Have Complexes
Lesson #737 - Micronations . . . . . Exchange Rate Of 3.14 Pies To 1.34 Euros
Lesson #736 - Sex Education . . . . . I Went To A Catholic School And I Know What Happened On The Third Floor, OK?
Lesson #735 - Drug Etymology . . . . . Everyone Knows You Don't Cross Zeus
Lesson #734 - Human Reactions (Jumble) . . . . . Come On, It's Only Two Letters
Lesson #733 - Break-Up Lines . . . . . Singing It Might Just Turn Her On Though
Recitation #68 - Ph.D. . . . . . I Think I Pulled My Back Laughing That Hard
Lesson #732 - Office Decor . . . . . Maine Supports Creeping People Out
Guest Lecture #11 - Old Hoss Radbourn . . . . .
Guest Lecture #10 - Jessica Hagy . . . . .
Guest Lecture #9 - Zach Weiner . . . . .
Guest Lecture #8 - Christopher Moore . . . . .
Recitation #67 - Canine Appearances . . . . . Although It's All Black And White To Them
Lesson #731 - Batman . . . . . The Unit That Struck Fear In Criminals

Lesson #730 - Charm
. . . . . Ladies Can Go Be Secretaries Or Cheerleaders
Lesson #729 - Censoring, Part II . . . . . The "Man" Is "Good Intentions"
Lesson #728 - Little Known Facts . . . . . The Back-Up Plan Is Meringue
Lesson #727 - Xenophobia . . . . . It's Hip Because It Starts With X
Lesson #726 - Bloggers . . . . . Reporting In The Internet Age
Lesson #725 - Personal Biological Hazards . . . . . Give Me Back Fred The Appendix
Lesson #724 - Terminology Etymology . . . . . Computers, Slang
Recitation #66 - Toothpaste . . . . . Atkins Cavity Protection
Lesson #723 - Hazing . . . . . Life Is Tough In Very Different Ways
Lesson #722 - Therapy . . . . . Tell Me About Your Mother
Lesson #721 - Pleasing Others . . . . . All You Have To Do Is Exist

Lesson #720 - The Power Of Fruit
. . . . . Sudden Excess Of Juice Containers
Lesson #719 - Parent-Child Relationships . . . . . People Are Jerks But Man Are My Parents
Lesson #718 - Childhoods . . . . . A Lot Of What You Believe In Wasn't
Recitation #65 - Sex and Candy . . . . . Arousal, Music From The 90's, Sweets
Lesson #717 - CPR . . . . . Soon You'll Need To Kick The Person Too
Lesson #716 - Experience, Part V . . . . . The Correct Answer Is A "Grinder"
Lesson #715 - Graffiti . . . . . Chalk Does Not Leave Very Impressive Gang Tags
Lesson #714 - Preparations . . . . . Who Knows What Might Happen
Lesson #713 - Songs In Your Head . . . . . No No I Appreciate The Offer But Really
Lesson #712 - Colorful Rebellions . . . . . Color Spectrum
Recitation #64 - Cats . . . . . Sayings That Are A Little Out Of Date
Lesson #711 - This. . . . . . Communication

Lesson #710 - Crazy
. . . . . This Logic Has Made Me Crazy So Therefore
Lesson #709 - Stupid, Stupid Ideas . . . . . Dumb Dumb Dumb
Lesson #708 - Audience Participation . . . . . I Said Good Morning Ow Ow Ow Stop That
Lesson #707 - Ethics . . . . . Ethics, Society
Lesson #706 - Symbols . . . . . Cartoons, Radiation
Recitation #63 - Teetotaling . . . . . Alcohol, Bodily Fluids
Lesson #705 - Internet Love . . . . . No I Really Am Your Age
Lesson #704 - Typos . . . . . Dinner Is Served, IT'S A COOKBOOK
Lesson #703 - Creeping People Out, Part VII . . . . . Chicken, Wide Creeped-Out Eyes
Lesson #702 - Flowers . . . . . Gifts, Marriage
Lesson #701 - Questionable Awards . . . . . College, Life, Races

Lesson #700 - Asses
. . . . . Teasing With A Bite To It
Lesson #699 - Knees . . . . . Anatomy, Mafia
Lesson #698 - Discrimination, Part II . . . . . I Am A Victim Too, What A Coincidence
Lesson #697 - Organs . . . . . It's The Liver Or Stomach For Many People
Lesson #696 - Sports Cheers . . . . . Language, Sports
Lesson #695 - Credos . . . . . It's Not A Bad Plan If You Define 'Can'
Lesson #694 - Head Scratches . . . . . Hair, Turn-Ons
Lesson #693 - Muffins . . . . . Bad Eating Habits
Lesson #692 - Email . . . . . Communication
Lesson #691 - College Degrees . . . . . More People Would Respect Your College

Lesson #690 - Theme Bars
. . . . . Fragrant Vagrants, Hip Places To Be
Lesson #689 - Relationship Difficulties . . . . . Nice Personalities, Relationships
Lesson #688 - Hype . . . . . This Is Gonna Be Huge
Lesson #687 - Independence Days . . . . . Patriotism, Politics
Lesson #686 - Dimensional Writing . . . . . Creative Writing
Lesson #685 - Group Names . . . . . Creepy People, Terminology
Lesson #684 - Crosswalks, Part III . . . . . Cars, Pedestrians
Lesson #683 - Imagination . . . . . Creativity Gets Wasted Anyway
Lesson #682 - Blockbuster Movies . . . . . Movies
Lesson #681 - Presentations, Part II . . . . . One Extreme Is More Fun Than The Other

Lesson #680 - Bad Decisions
. . . . . The Intercept Is Normalized By Your Parents
Lesson #679 - Martians . . . . . Mass Hysteria
Recitation #62 - Clones . . . . . Egocentricity, Sex
Lesson #678 - Leadership . . . . . Setting the Standards
Lesson #677 - Morale and Professionalism . . . . . High Fives Can Be Totally Professional
Lesson #676 - Nickname Creativity . . . . . Dr. Jabberwocky
Lesson #675 - All-nighters . . . . . Late Nights and Little Sleep
Lesson #674 - Hairballs . . . . . Pets
Lesson #673 - Free Samples . . . . . You Gotta Try This
Recitation #61 - Drunk-Dialing . . . . . Stupid Acts of Humanity
Lesson #672 - Stereotypes and Knowledge . . . . . Foreign Language, Venn Diagrams
Lesson #671 - Marital Property . . . . . Marriage, Stories

Lesson #670 - Musicphiles
. . . . . It's Hip To Be A Share-r, Music
Lesson #669 - Gay Parents . . . . . Parenting
Lesson #668 - Fun and Games . . . . . Sports
Recitation #60 - Mad Science . . . . . Mad Science
Lesson #667 - The World Cup And Other International Athletic Competitions . . . . . You've Had This Coming For A Long Time You Jerk
Lesson #666 - 666 . . . . . The Devil Is In The Cute Furry Details
Lesson #665 - Libidos . . . . . "Fetish" And "Mom" Shouldn't Go Together
Lesson #664 - Definitions, Part XI . . . . . Politics
Lesson #663 - Funerals . . . . . Life
Lesson #662 - Pillow Talk . . . . . Nullity Is An Awesome Word
Lesson #661 - Volume . . . . . Television

Lesson #660 - Anniversary, Part II
. . . . . Anniversary Gifts
Lesson #659 - Relationship Math . . . . . Weirdos Abound
Lesson #658 - Tanning, Kind Of . . . . . Wear Sunscreen
Recitation #59 - High School . . . . . High School, Life
Lesson #657 - Hyperbole . . . . . The Internet
Lesson #656 - Arrogance and Stupidity . . . . . Certain Professors, Society
Lesson #655 - Reality TV . . . . . Television
Lesson #654 - Bad Therefore Great . . . . . Bad Therefore Great Puns
Lesson #653 - Salad . . . . . Dessert
Lesson #652 - Doing Stupid Things . . . . . One Of The Beauties Of Old Age
Recitation #58 - Liquid Attributes . . . . . Beverages
Lesson #651 - Literary Works . . . . . And A Lot Of Satire Today Is Crap

Lesson #650 - Bathroom Humor
. . . . . Also Farts
Lesson #649 - Overdiagnosed . . . . . Sometimes ADHD Is Just Poor Discipline
Lesson #648 - True Stories . . . . . You Should Have Been There
Lesson #647 - Hatemail, Part II . . . . . Internet Rage
Lesson #646 - Husbands . . . . . Seriously, What Gives
Recitation #57 - Tea . . . . . Impossible Brews
Lesson #645 - Penetrating Gazes . . . . . Creepy Stares
Lesson #644 - Nonsense . . . . . Callooh, Callay, Frumious Bandersnatches
Lesson #643 - Overhearing Certain Conversations . . . . . Medical Gossip, Office Gossip
Lesson #642 - Tattoos . . . . . Body Art
Lesson #641 - Mothers and Children . . . . . Mothers

Lesson #640 - Knowledge, Part III
. . . . . Knowledge, Seafood
Recitation #56 - Freezers . . . . . Surprise House Guests
Lesson #639 - Lifestyle . . . . . Food, Religion, Video Games
Lesson #638 - Genetic Engineering . . . . . Baby Names, Genetic Engineering, Literature
Lesson #637 - Censoring . . . . . 1.01110010011101E+30
Lesson #636 - Life . . . . . Every Silver Lining Has A Jerky Cloud
Lesson #635 - The Afterlife . . . . . Afterlife, Private Parts
Recitation #55 - Bears . . . . . Ursus Horribilis
Lesson #634 - Pride . . . . . People, Perception, Storytelling
Lesson #633 - Space . . . . . The Western Will Never Die
Lesson #632 - Groups . . . . . Society
Lesson #631 - Talking About Your Pets . . . . . Cuteness, Pets

Lesson #630 - Shaving
. . . . . Facial Hair
Lesson #629 - Soap . . . . . Chemistry, Children, Swearing
Lesson #628 - Happiness . . . . . Life, Up To You
Recitation #54 - Seduction . . . . . Earth Guys Are Easy
Lesson #627 - Wisdom and Common Sense . . . . . Strange And New Cliches
Lesson #626 - Coffee and Dieting . . . . . Diets, Guts and Juices
Lesson #625 - Fighting Poor Attention Spans . . . . . Earth To Planet You, Meetings
Lesson #624 - Home Protection . . . . . If Your Watchdog Runs From Loud Noises
Lesson #623 - Exploration In The Modern Era . . . . . Exploration, Self-Serving Promotions
Lesson #622 - Gender Issues . . . . . Gender, Language Humor Is The Best
Recitation #53 - Insects . . . . . Insects, Sense of Direction
Lesson #621 - Mindless Devotion . . . . . Religion, Science

Lesson #620 - Canine Conversions
. . . . . Canines, Exercise
Lesson #619 - Chemistry . . . . . One Man's Osmium Tetroxide Is Another's HGH
Lesson #618 - Irony . . . . . Humor
Lesson #617 - Nightmares . . . . . Dreams, Sleeping, Strange Looks
Lesson #616 - Double Entendres . . . . . Hurr Hurr, Language, Sex, Slang
Recitation #52 - Reading A Good Book . . . . . Good Books
Lesson #615 - Similarities To Blood Donors . . . . . Blood Or Sex Not Blood And Sex
Lesson #614 - Comedy . . . . . Clueless Or No Concept Of Humor
Lesson #613 - Biology . . . . . Innards
Lesson #612 - Sex . . . . . Unless You're Being Sarcastic Maybe
Lesson #611 - Brains . . . . . Brains Are Tough To Draw

Lesson #610 - Pandora's Box
. . . . . Mythology, Today
Recitation #51 - Office Spirit Animals . . . . . Creatures, Organization
Lesson #609 - Innovative Engineering . . . . . Engineering, Freeganism For Students
Lesson #608 - Parenting . . . . . Actual Parents Are Bad Apparently
Lesson #607 - Definitions, Part X . . . . . Meetings Are Straitjackets For The Creative
Lesson #606 - Amoebas . . . . . Science, Single Celled Organisms
Lesson #605 - Internet Rules . . . . . Porn, Rules
Lesson #604 - Gambling . . . . . Naming Rights, Risks
Recitation #50 - Fire . . . . . Bonfires, Trogdor
Lesson #603 - Other Interpretations . . . . . My Essence Is Leaking
Lesson #602 - Pets, Part II . . . . . Bats Are Questionable Pets, Rabies
Lesson #601 - Synesthesia . . . . . Neurology, Superpowers

Lesson #600 - Poachers
. . . . . Fabric, Literals
Lesson #599 - God . . . . . Canines, Religion
Lesson #598 - Everyone's Opinion Of Someone On The Internet (Bracket Week II) . . . . . Perceptions, The Internet
Recitation #49 - Bar Arguments, Part III (Bracket Week II) . . . . . Bad Movies, Maine's Obvious Rooting Interest
Lesson #597 - Unique College Team Nicknames (Bracket Week II) . . . . . And Chokers Didn't Make The Short List
Lesson #596 - St. Patrick's Day (Bracket Week II) . . . . . Fiddle Music, Heavy Stouts, Ireland
Lesson #595 - Breakfast Foods (Bracket Week II) . . . . . Tough But Tasty Way To Start Off The Morning
Lesson #594 - Global Warming (Bracket Week II) . . . . . Science
Lesson #593 - Dubbing . . . . . Cursing, Movies, Television
Lesson #592 - Lost Friends . . . . . Stupid Body Parts
Recitation #48 - Strategies . . . . . Games With Bizarre Strategies
Lesson #591 - Student-Teacher Interactions . . . . . School

Lesson #590 - Slogans
. . . . . Politics, Sports
Lesson #589 - The Relationship Commandments . . . . . When I Say Oh God Around You It Does Not Mean What You Think It Does
Lesson #588 - Amputation . . . . . Humor
Lesson #587 - Commenting . . . . . Why Fighting Crap On The Internet Is Hard
Lesson #586 - Trust . . . . . Giant Lumpy Darts, Pets
Student Presentation #5 - Phone Calls From Children . . . . .
Student Presentation #4 - Picketing . . . . .
Student Presentation #3 - Microwave Tips . . . . .
Student Presentation #2 - Attraction . . . . .
Student Presentation #1 - Ethical Theories . . . . .
Lesson #585 - Meat Additives . . . . . Mystery Meat
Lesson #584 - Snow, Part II . . . . . Nature, Precipitation
Recitation #47 - Stealing Historical Credit . . . . . Historical Plagiarism, Time Travel
Lesson #583 - Scandals . . . . . The Continued Laziness of the Media
Lesson #582 - Wine . . . . . Drinking, Vagrants
Lesson #581 - Planning Your Future . . . . . Careers

Lesson #580 - The Original Story
. . . . . Gorillas, Movies, Stories
Lesson #579 - Blasphemy . . . . . Language, Loopholes, Religion
Lesson #578 - Artistic Classifications . . . . . Literature, The Arts
Recitation #46 - Pick-Up Lines . . . . . Well Hello Ladies
Lesson #577 - Meetings, Part II . . . . . Meetings, The Fourth Dimension
Lesson #576 - What Are Friends For . . . . . Hey Can You Do Me A Solid
Lesson #575 - Definitions, Part IX . . . . . Spanish Language Humor
Lesson #574 - The Olympics, Part II . . . . . Energy, Sports
Lesson #573 - Valentine's Day Rebuke . . . . . Commercial Holidays, True Love
Lesson #572 - Territorial Disputes . . . . . Climate Change, Land, Oil, Swine
Recitation #45 - Murder Scene . . . . . Rube Goldberg, Scene of the Crime
Lesson #571 - Pluralization . . . . . Chaos, Language

Lesson #570 - Things You Never Hear . . ., Part III
. . . . . Religion
Lesson #569 - The World We Live In . . . . . Something Insulting About The Queen
Lesson #568 - Classy . . . . . High Style or Bathroom Humor
Lesson #567 - Football and Hockey . . . . . Sports
Lesson #566 - Professional Prerequisites . . . . . Exams, Law, Radio
Recitation #44 - Kissing . . . . . Romance
Lesson #565 - Life and Baseball . . . . . The Ol' Baseball-Is-Life Metaphor
Lesson #564 - A Letter To Dogs . . . . . Cold, Pets, The Dog Dance
Lesson #563 - Groundhog Day . . . . . Animal Rebellions
Lesson #562 - Dressing For Warmth . . . . . Clothing, Public Displays
Lesson #561 - Education . . . . . Education

Lesson #560 - Pregnancy
. . . . . Children, What Looks Like Incredible Pain
Recitation #43 - Eating . . . . . Food, Gender
Lesson #559 - Movie Lessons . . . . . Excellent Adventures, Movies, Parenting
Lesson #558 - Photocomics . . . . . Art, Comics, Creativity, No Nudity
Lesson #557 - Trips . . . . . Trips
Lesson #556 - Parental Visits . . . . . Are You An Adult Now Or Not
Lesson #555 - Angels . . . . . Things Told To Kids That Are Taken Too Far
Lesson #554 - Photography, Part II . . . . . Cultures, Souls
Recitation #42 - Relationship Spark . . . . . Relationships
Lesson #553 - Professional Expectations . . . . . Creativity, Professions
Lesson #552 - College Libraries . . . . . College, Future
Lesson #551 - High Style . . . . . Class, Pets

Lesson #550 - Hybrid Creatures
. . . . . Food, Hybrids
Lesson #549 - The Internet Will Save Everything . . . . . Board Games, The Internet
Lesson #548 - Fruit Fixes . . . . . Drugs, Unhealthy Love For Fruit
Recitation #41 - Trees . . . . . Carbon Dioxide Bars
Lesson #547 - Winter Wonderland . . . . . Snow
Lesson #546 - Ink Stains . . . . . Purple Is Your Liver Rebelling Against You
Lesson #545 - Winter . . . . . Some Stuff Does Make Up For The Cold
Lesson #544 - Angles of Conversation . . . . . Conversations, Protractors, Public Gatherings
Lesson #543 - Cursing, Part II . . . . . Anatomy, Foul Language
Lesson #542 - Idioms, Part II . . . . . Potentially Of Significance to Australia
Recitation #40 - Soul Mates . . . . . You're Really Great But Let's Not Ruin What We Have
Lesson #541 - License Plates . . . . . Literature, Villainy

Lesson #540 - Fortune Cookies
. . . . . Fate, Language, Sex
Lesson #539 - Public Declarations . . . . . No Sense Of Privacy, Proposals
Lesson #538 - Creeping People Out, Part VI . . . . . Strange Looks In Public
Lesson #537 - Idioms . . . . . Animals, Deaths
Recitation #39 - Octopi . . . . . Cephalopods, Humanity's Rulers
Lesson #536 - New Hats . . . . . Clothing
Lesson #535 - New Year's Eve . . . . . Parties, Promises To Yourself
Lesson #534 - Well-Dressed . . . . . Clothing, Relationships
Lesson #533 - Top Ten Lists . . . . . Critics, Media Of Any Kind, Top Tens
Lesson #532 - Specialness . . . . . Mathematics, Society
Lesson #531 - Pets . . . . . Children, Pets

Lesson #530 - Webcomics
. . . . . Backlogs, Internet, Wasting Time
Lesson #529 - Christmas Births . . . . . Birthdays, Holidays
Lesson #528 - Christmas Music . . . . . Creativity, Holidays, Music
Lesson #527 - Eggnog . . . . . Drinks, Holidays
Lesson #526 - Ornaments . . . . . Decorations, Holidays
Lesson #525 - Mistletoe . . . . . Holidays, Kissing
Lesson #524 - The Bible, Part II . . . . . Literature, Religion
Recitation #38 - Rational Explanations of Irrational Phobias, Part VI . . . . . Phobias, Stairs
Lesson #523 - Experience, Part IV . . . . . Dancing, Holiday Specials
Lesson #522 - Obesity . . . . . Overeating, Snow Sports
Lesson #521 - Salvation Army . . . . . Charity, Christmas, Guilt

Lesson #520 - Handshakes
. . . . . Strong Grips, Threat-Filled Hellos
Lesson #519 - Puns . . . . . Humor
Lesson #518 - Glasses . . . . . Eyewear
Lesson #517 - Camp Songs . . . . . Bill Grogan, Johnny Vorbeck
Recitation #37 - Cannibalism Ethics . . . . . Ethics, Life Purposes, Sources of Food
Lesson #516 - Marital Disputes . . . . . Expressions, Threats
Lesson #515 - Victorious Trash Talk . . . . . Boasts, Society
Lesson #514 - Season's Greetings . . . . . Holidays, Spice
Lesson #513 - Living in "The Future" . . . . . Science, Society
Lesson #512 - Agnostics . . . . . Christmas, Politics, Religion
Lesson #511 - Breakfast . . . . . Food
Recitation #36 - Academic Bribes . . . . . Word Bribes Are The Best Kind

Lesson #510 - Letters (Brought To You By The Letter 'C')
. . . . . A Healthy Dose of Reality
Lesson #509 - Literary Themes . . . . . Writer's Intention
Lesson #508 - Vampires . . . . . Blood, Diseases
Lesson #507 - Spitting . . . . . Excess Saliva
Lesson #506 - Anecdotes . . . . . Cutlery, Stories
Recitation #35 - Contraception . . . . . Gene Pools, Pets, Sex
Lesson #505 - Races . . . . . Running, Turkey
Lesson #504 - Ben Franklin . . . . . Turkey, Wenches
Lesson #503 - Organic Food . . . . . Geneticists, Turkey
Lesson #502 - Dance Moves . . . . . Dancing Fools
Lesson #501 - Water . . . . . Alien Life, Science

Lesson #500 - Men in Uniform
. . . . . Boy Scouts, Rules of Attraction
Lesson #499 - Generation Gaps, Part II . . . . . Old People, Toothpaste, Zombies
Recitation #34 - Book Burning . . . . . Literature, Vampires
Lesson #498 - Inner Voices . . . . . Age, Self
Lesson #497 - Hiding the Truth . . . . . Conspiracies, Mistruths, Outright Lies
Lesson #496 - Fighting Boredom, Part II . . . . . Croquet, Fighting Boredom
Lesson #495 - Roommate Approval Process, Part II . . . . . Questionnaire, Roommates
Lesson #494 - Humor . . . . . Life Philosophies
Lesson #493 - Violated . . . . . Procedures, Violations
Recitation #33 - Dante and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day . . . . . Art, Sea Cows
Lesson #492 - Product Approval . . . . . Side Effects
Lesson #491 - The Laws of Conservation . . . . . Science, Society

Lesson #490 - Germaphobes and Non-Germaphobes
. . . . . Disgusting Habits
Lesson #489 - Semantics . . . . . Cannibalism, Pets
Lesson #488 - Acceptance . . . . . Gay Marriage, Generation Gap, Robots
Lesson #487 - Sneezing . . . . . Brutal Noises, Hi-Ya
Recitation #32 - Actions, Words, Pens, and Swords . . . . . Alexander Hamilton
Lesson #486 - Psychologists . . . . . Rats In A Maze
Lesson #485 - Toes . . . . . Feet, Legends
Lesson #484 - The Butt of the Joke . . . . . Humor
Lesson #483 - "Sexy" . . . . . Minimalist Vocabularies, Overused Terms
Lesson #482 - The Walk of Shame . . . . . Halloween, Shame
Lesson #481 - Monsters . . . . . Halloween, Monsters, Pop Culture

Lesson #480 - Abstract Halloween Costumes
. . . . . Costumes, Halloween, Nonsense
Lesson #479 - The Perfect Murder . . . . . Cooking Chemistry, Nefarious Schemes
Lesson #478 - Perennials . . . . . Plants
Lesson #477 - Job Fairs . . . . . College, Jobs
Lesson #476 - Manners . . . . . Brains, Manners
Lesson #475 - Home-Cooked Meals . . . . . Food
Lesson #474 - Life Perspective . . . . . Dreams, Life, Literature
Recitation #31 - Conditional Love . . . . . Love, Pets
Lesson #473 - Compliments and Putdowns, Part II . . . . . Aftershave, Sweat
Lesson #472 - Writer's Block: A Visualization . . . . . Sensory Overload
Lesson #471 - Elderly Parents . . . . . Hampsters, Parents

Lesson #470 - Bad Jokes
. . . . . Humor
Lesson #469 - Good Looks . . . . . Carpeting
Lesson #468 - Snow . . . . . Weather
Recitation #30 - Spandex . . . . . Crazies, Superheroes
Lesson #467 - Geneticists . . . . . Grapefrowl, Octoparrot
Lesson #466 - Idiocy on the Roads . . . . . Crosswalks
Lesson #465 - Witches . . . . . Bubble Bubble Toil and Trouble, Children
Lesson #464 - Sidekicks . . . . . Partners
Lesson #463 - The Evolution of Music . . . . . Music, Tone
Lesson #462 - Strange Sayings . . . . . Friends
Lesson #461 - The Evolution of Running . . . . . Aging, Running

Lesson #460 - Apples
. . . . . How Do You Like Them Apples
Lesson #459 - Drinking Games, Part II . . . . . Alcohol, Hypocrisy, Perception
Lesson #458 - Scents . . . . . Urine
Lesson #457 - Compliments and Putdowns . . . . . Open to Interpretation
Lesson #456 - Strangers . . . . . Outsiders
Lesson #455 - Confetti . . . . . Weddings
Recitation #29 - Sign Language . . . . . Punches Solve All Problems But Violence
Lesson #454 - Truth in Audiovisual Presentations . . . . . Details Schmetails, Story Adjustments
Lesson #453 - Construction Delays . . . . . Delays, Jerks
Lesson #452 - Night Running . . . . . Midnight Run
Lesson #451 - Free Verse . . . . . Poetry

Lesson #450 - Canine Math
. . . . . Correlations, Dogs
Lesson #449 - The Horror - Science Fiction Genre . . . . . Horror, Octopi, Science Fiction
Lesson #448 - Punditry . . . . . Relative Greatness, Talking Heads
Lesson #447 - Literary Criticism . . . . . Criticism
Lesson #446 - Definitions, Part VIII . . . . . Heat, Powerhouse of the Cell
Lesson #445 - Dancing . . . . . Ballrooms
Lesson #444 - Fashion, Part II . . . . . Fashion, Public Near-Nudity
Lesson #443 - Catholic School Dances . . . . . Catholicism
Lesson #442 - Sailing . . . . . Boats, Yar
Recitation #28 - Pet Names . . . . . Pets, Yeah Toast
Lesson #441 - Individuality . . . . . Anticonformity

Lesson #440 - Contracts
. . . . . Blood, Moving
Lesson #439 - Historical Retrospective: The Middle Ages . . . . . Those Who Forget The Past Allow The Minor Details To Stay Forgotten
Lesson #438 - Fill In The Blank . . . . . Romance, Spy Movies
Lesson #437 - Bait . . . . . Damsels in Distress
Lesson #436 - Chivalry . . . . . Ugly Venn Diagrams
Recitation #27 - Penguins . . . . . Food
Lesson #435 - Raw Diets . . . . . Dieting, Evolution, Zombies
Lesson #434 - Alien Abductions . . . . . Aliens, Dolphins
Lesson #433 - Fist-Bumps . . . . . The Evolution of the High Five
Lesson #432 - Phone Calls . . . . . Conversations, Revenge
Guest Lecture #7 - Andrew Rees . . . . .
Guest Lecture #6 - Spenser . . . . .
Guest Lecture #5 - Sarahthe . . . . .
Guest Lecture #4 - Union of Heroes . . . . .
Guest Lecture #3 - Ithacork . . . . .
Guest Lecture #2 - Skidmore Bluffs . . . . .
Guest Lecture #1 - O31 . . . . .
Lesson #431 - Theater Auditions . . . . . Society, Theater
Recitation #26 - Cat Diplomacy . . . . . Pets

Lesson #430 - Wedding Drama
. . . . . Entertainment, Weddings
Lesson #429 - College Relationships . . . . . College, Relationships
Lesson #428 - Opinions . . . . . Architecture, Society
Lesson #427 - Chalk . . . . . Chalk, Science, Teachers
Lesson #426 - Lawsuits . . . . . False Advertising, Superstrength
Lesson #425 - Photography . . . . . Cameras, Society
Lesson #424 - Talking to Yourself . . . . . Pets, Thoughts
Recitation #25 - Orientation . . . . . College, Life
Lesson #423 - Theme Songs . . . . . Catchy Tunes, Television
Lesson #422 - Titles . . . . . Cheese, Fanciness, Religion
Lesson #421 - Misperceptions . . . . . Marijuana, Sex

Lesson #420 - In Common
. . . . . Farming, Venn Diagrams
Lesson #419 - Sharks . . . . . Fish, Society
Lesson #418 - Eyebrows . . . . . Creeping People Out
Recitation #24 - Lost Loves . . . . . Life, Relationships
Lesson #417 - Posters . . . . . Art, Decoration
Lesson #416 - Instruments . . . . . Music, War
Lesson #415 - Pop Culture . . . . . Culture, Sesame Street, Society
Lesson #414 - Hiking . . . . . Hiking, Safety
Lesson #413 - Nutritional Facts . . . . . Food, Mathematics, Society
Lesson #412 - Wedding Gifts . . . . . Weddings
Recitation #23 - Hospital Stays . . . . . Medicine, Scars, Tans
Lesson #411 - Service . . . . . Venn Diagrams

Lesson #410 - Encores
. . . . . Fans, Music
Lesson #409 - Experience, Part III . . . . . Intimidation, Warnings
Lesson #408 - Journalism . . . . . Objectivity, Pundits
Lesson #407 - Theater . . . . . Theater
Lesson #406 - Conformity . . . . . Individuality, Society
Recitation #22 - Energy Boosts . . . . . Energy, Grapefruit
Lesson #405 - Conspiracy Theories . . . . . Grinders, Profits
Lesson #404 - Death . . . . . Death, Heroism, Urine
Lesson #403 - Power . . . . . Science
Lesson #402 - S & M . . . . . Clothing, Fetishes
Lesson #401 - Black Holes . . . . . Nonsense, Science

Lesson #400 - Juice Perspectives
. . . . . Juice, Ladies of the Night, Nemeses
Recitation #21 - Comebacks . . . . . Comebacks, It's All In The Delivery
Lesson #399 - Foreign Languages . . . . . Communication, Understanding
Lesson #398 - Creative Success . . . . . Creativity, Fans
Lesson #397 - Wrinkles . . . . . Facial Distortions
Lesson #396 - Wish You Were Here . . . . . Postcards, Text Messages
Lesson #395 - Love Is . . . . . . . . Love, Nonsense
Lesson #394 - Pickup Trucks . . . . . Moving, Trucks
Recitation #20 - Pavlov and Schr�dinger . . . . . Boxing, Science
Lesson #393 - Belgian Beers . . . . . Belgium, Drinking, Women
Lesson #392 - Monkey Feet . . . . . Evolution, Feet, Science
Lesson #391 - Brawls . . . . . Baseball, Brawls

Lesson #390 - The Senses
. . . . . Senses, Sex
Lesson #389 - News Broadcasts . . . . . News
Lesson #388 - Police . . . . . Authority Figures
Recitation #19 - Creeping People Out, Part V . . . . . Creeping People Out, Woodsman Tools
Lesson #387 - Animal Happiness . . . . . Animals, Joy
Lesson #386 - Traffic Circles . . . . . Driving
Lesson #385 - Language . . . . . Communication, Music
Lesson #384 - Brushing Your Teeth . . . . . Art, Dance, Teeth
Lesson #383 - Political Spectrum, Part II . . . . . Music, Politics
Lesson #382 - Patriotism . . . . . Independence Day
Recitation #18 - Family Lessons . . . . . Family, Personal Growth
Lesson #381 - Reproductive Dating . . . . . Children, Reality Television, Reproduction

Lesson #380 - Customers
. . . . . Customers
Lesson #379 - The Man . . . . . Footwear, Society
Lesson #378 - Crosswalks, Part II . . . . . Crosswalks, Walking
Lesson #377 - Meaning . . . . . Beliefs, Broken Mirrors, Superstition
Lesson #376 - Fonts . . . . . Random Symbols
Recitation #17 - The Zombie Apocalypse . . . . . Brains, Survivial, Uprisings, Zombies
Lesson #375 - Planetary Collisions . . . . . Astronomy, Science, Supervillains
Lesson #374 - Haircuts . . . . . Unruly Hair
Lesson #373 - Warnings . . . . . High Voltage, Signs, Superpowers
Lesson #372 - Scars . . . . . Storytelling, Wounds
Lesson #371 - Laughter . . . . . Happiness, Humor

Lesson #370 - Heart Attacks
. . . . . First Aid
Recitation #16 - Animal Cognition . . . . . Animals, Cognitive Processes, Revenge
Lesson #369 - Military Research . . . . . Animals, Bombs, Military, Science
Lesson #368 - Predestination . . . . . Religion
Lesson #367 - Children's Books . . . . . Children's Literature, Inspiration
Lesson #366 - Rational Explanations of Irrational Phobias, Part V . . . . . Phobias, Romance
Lesson #365 - European Backpacking . . . . . Backpacking, Night Trains
Lesson #364 - Home Improvements . . . . . Homes
Recitation #15 - Guest Beds . . . . . Beds, Guests, Visits
Lesson #363 - Mobs . . . . . Mobs, Pitchforks, Torches
Lesson #362 - Boxers . . . . . Camouflage, Near Nakedness
Lesson #361 - Soap Operas . . . . . Creativity, Drama, Nuns

Lesson #360 - Slurs
. . . . . Animals, Foul Language
Lesson #359 - Shipwrecks . . . . . The Sea, She Be A Harsh Mistress
Lesson #358 - Definitions, Part VII . . . . . Swearing
Recitation #14 - Love . . . . . Relationships, Romancs, Syringes
Lesson #357 - Vocal Octaves . . . . . Clefs, Music, Voices
Lesson #356 - Physique . . . . . Fitness
Lesson #355 - The Near Future . . . . . Future, Science Fiction
Lesson #354 - Political Spectrum . . . . . Hippies, Gun Nuts, Politics
Lesson #353 - Anniversary . . . . . Anniversary Gifts
Lesson #352 - Facial Hair . . . . . Hair, Shaving, Tufts
Lesson #351 - School Uniforms . . . . . Clothing, High School, Individuality

Lesson #350 - Cold Turkey
. . . . . Quitting
Lesson #349 - Miracle Cures . . . . . "Medicine", Side Effects
Lesson #348 - Nerds . . . . . Humor, Society
Lesson #347 - Justice, Part II . . . . . Justice, Society
Lesson #346 - Freedom of Religion . . . . . Penguins, Politics, Puritans, Religion
Lesson #345 - Referees . . . . . Power, Sports
Lesson #344 - Catfish . . . . . Alternative Punchlines, Fish
Lesson #343 - Snacks . . . . . Dieting, Food
Lesson #342 - Comic Book Flowchart . . . . . Battles, Superheroes
Lesson #341 - Human Growth Hormone . . . . . Disease, Performance Enhancing Drugs, Sports

Lesson #340 - Presentations
. . . . . Colors, Presentations, Professionalism
Lesson #339 - Collars . . . . . Careers, Clothing, College, Greek System
Lesson #338 - Airport Security . . . . . Airports, Feet, National Security
Lesson #337 - Meaning and Intent . . . . . Dictionary Disappointment, Roads
Lesson #336 - Miracles . . . . . Lavish Praise, Religion, Xenophobia
Lesson #335 - Newspapers . . . . . Comics, Cost, Information, Newspapers
Lesson #334 - Music Critics . . . . . Critics, Flowchart, Music
Lesson #333 - Standing Ovations . . . . . Applause
Lesson #332 - Extreme Gambling . . . . . Apocalypse, Disease, Energy, Gambling
Lesson #331 - Opposable Thumbs . . . . . Fingers, Pets

Lesson #330 - A Simple Guide To Identifying Bite Marks
. . . . . Animals, Bites, Vampires
Lesson #329 - Public Nudity . . . . . Nudity, Temperature
Lesson #328 - Cheese . . . . . Armageddon, Dairy Products, Religion
Lesson #327 - Cinco de Mayo . . . . . Condiments, Holidays
Lesson #326 - Prophetic Toys . . . . . Toys
Lesson #325 - Amnesia . . . . . Entertainment, Maladies, Memory
Lesson #324 - Decades . . . . . Years
Lesson #323 - Student - Professor Interaction . . . . . College, Professors, Students
Lesson #322 - Creeping People Out, Part IV . . . . . Being Creepy, Groceries
Lesson #321 - Archrivals . . . . . Enemies, People

Lesson #320 - The Food Pyramid
. . . . . Conspiracies, Food, Geometry
Lesson #319 - Rational Explanations of Irrational Phobias, Part IV . . . . . Phobias, Towers
Lesson #318 - Cloning . . . . . Pets, Science
Lesson #317 - Robots . . . . . Laws, Robots
Lesson #316 - Blood . . . . . Cyborgs, Science
Lesson #315 - Beethoven . . . . . Classical Music, History, Senses
Lesson #314 - First Drafts, Part III . . . . . Creepiness, Music, Romance
Lesson #313 - Squirrels . . . . . Explosions, Reproductive Control, Rodents
Lesson #312 - Messing With People . . . . . Nightlife, Politics, Science
Lesson #311 - Hunting . . . . . Deer, Overpopulation

Lesson #310 - Cursing
. . . . . Age, Equestrian, Swearing
Recitation #13 - Castaways . . . . . Cannibalism, Shipwrecks, Survivors
Lesson #309 - Cougars . . . . . Nudity, Older Women
Lesson #308 - Infomercials . . . . . Advertisements, Television
Lesson #307 - The Police . . . . . Baked Goods, Police
Lesson #306 - Creeping People Out, Part III . . . . . Being Creepy, Pets
Lesson #305 - Fingerless Gloves . . . . . Clothing
Lesson #304 - Hooking Up . . . . . Disease, Slang
Lesson #303 - Doctorates . . . . . Education, Science
Lesson #302 - Guilty Pleasures . . . . . Music, Reality Television, Snacks
Lesson #301 - Belated Birthday Wishes . . . . . Birthdays, Excuses

Lesson #300 - Bumper Stickers
. . . . . Pets, Planes, Religion, Tropes
Lesson #299 - References . . . . . Essays, Internet, References
Lesson #298 - Words . . . . . Words
Lesson #297 - Alternative Cults . . . . . Cults, Zombies
Lesson #296 - Scrabble . . . . . Games, Science
Lesson #295 - Definitions, Part VI . . . . . Chaos, Foosball
Lesson #294 - Dog Biology . . . . . Biology, Canines
Lesson #293 - Plant Pain . . . . . Plants, Vegetarians
Lesson #292 - Coming of Age . . . . . Age, Laws
Lesson #291 - Knowledge, Part II . . . . . Learning, Politics

Lesson #290 - Knowledge
. . . . . Learning, Teachers
Lesson #289 - Prenuptials . . . . . Children, Marriage
Lesson #288 - Alternate Universes, Part II . . . . . Alternate Realities
Lesson #287 - True Fans, Part II . . . . . Fandom, Laundry, Sports
Lesson #286 - Explaining the Economy . . . . . Computing, Economics
Lesson #285 - Crosswalks . . . . . Buzzer-beaters, Celebrations, Walking
Lesson #284 - Rumors . . . . . Lies, Milk, Stories
Lesson #283 - Noise . . . . . Noise, Singing
Recitation #12 - Erasers . . . . . Cleaning
Lesson #282 - Fermented Four (Bracket Week) . . . . . Brackets, Drinking
Lesson #281 - Physics (Bracket Week) . . . . . Science

Lesson #280 - Bar Fights (Bracket Week)
. . . . . Bars, Brackets, Drinking, Fights
Lesson #279 - Science vs. Religion (Bracket Week) . . . . . Brackets, Religion, Science
Lesson #278 - Creationism . . . . . Marxism, Religion, Science
Lesson #277 - New Cars . . . . . Vehicles, Wealth
Lesson #276 - Discipline . . . . . Behavior, Discipline, Upbringing
Lesson #275 - Signs . . . . . Astrology, Religion
Lesson #274 - Definitions, Part V . . . . . German, Rivalries, Sports, Surgery
Lesson #273 - Runners . . . . . Exercise, Math
Lesson #272 - Buying Drinks (Or, Pick Your Own Punchline) . . . . . Bars, Drinks, Pick-up Moves
Lesson #271 - Bar Arguments, Part II . . . . . Bar Arguments, Rebellions

Lesson #270 - Territory
. . . . . Neighbors, Urination
Lesson #269 - Laundry, Part II . . . . . Boxers, Laundry
Lesson #268 - College Radio . . . . . College, Music, Opera, Radio
Lesson #267 - Breakfast Creations . . . . . Breakfast, Mornings
Lesson #266 - Old Video Games . . . . . Group Participation, Real Life, Video Games
Lesson #265 - New Music . . . . . College, Holidays, Music, Parents
Lesson #264 - College Choosing, Part III . . . . . College, Drinking, Tours
Lesson #263 - Construction Delays . . . . . Construction, Mafia
Recitation #11 - Facebook Rejections . . . . . Internet Friends
Lesson #262 - Medicinal Breakthroughs . . . . . Explosives, Medicine
Lesson #261 - True Fans, Part I . . . . . Fandom, Sports

Lesson #260 - Riots
. . . . . Crazed People, Yellow Tape
Lesson #259 - Creeping People Out, Part II . . . . . Being Creepy, College, Tours
Lesson #258 - Roadkill . . . . . Dead Things, Initiative
Lesson #257 - Experience, Part II . . . . . Nostrils
Recitation #10 - Questions For Teachers . . . . . High School, Mocking
Lesson #256 - Toxicity . . . . . Chemistry, Uteri
Lesson #255 - Originality . . . . . Creativity, Drugs, Rip-Offs
Lesson #254 - Showers . . . . . Environment, Mathematics, Showers, Soap
Lesson #253 - Alien Forms . . . . . Aliens, Humanish Creatures
Lesson #252 - Generation Gaps . . . . . Aging, Making Marks
Lesson #251 - Valentine's Day Apathy . . . . . Holidays, Poetry

Lesson #250 - NSFW
. . . . . Elderly, Nakedness
Lesson #249 - Urination . . . . . Urination
Lesson #248 - Steroids . . . . . Baseball, Drugs, Responsibility, Venn Diagrams
Lesson #247 - Fashion . . . . . Awkward Stares, Fashion, Style
Lesson #246 - Hands-Free . . . . . Phones, Public Privacy
Lesson #245 - Poker . . . . . Games, Idiots, Luck
Lesson #244 - Artificial Intelligence . . . . . Science, Technology
Lesson #243 - Snowfall . . . . . Imperial Unit System, Snow
Lesson #242 - Singing and Dancing . . . . . Public Spectacles
Lesson #241 - Fighting Boredom . . . . . Dinosaurs, Fighting Boredom, Impressions

Lesson #240 - Egg Donors
. . . . . Donors, Siblings
Lesson #239 - Degrees of Separation . . . . . Humanity
Lesson #238 - Walking . . . . . Life, Puns
Lesson #237 - Superpowers . . . . . Captain Planet, Flash, Superpowers
Lesson #236 - Meetings . . . . . Attention Span, Work
Lesson #235 - Hell . . . . . Afterlife, Classics, Religion
Lesson #234 - Creeping People Out . . . . . Being Creepy, Children
Lesson #233 - Sign Language . . . . . Communication, Reptiles
Lesson #232 - College Charters . . . . . College, Remnants of Forgotten Eras
Lesson #231 - The Economy . . . . . Careers, Economy, Students

Lesson #230 - Multi-tasking
. . . . . Annoying People
Lesson #229 - Cold Coffee . . . . . Coffee, Leftovers
Lesson #228 - Fan Art vs. Fan Fiction . . . . . Art, Creativity, Literature, Sex
Lesson #227 - Strays . . . . . Frickin' Cat Whisperers, Relationships
Lesson #226 - Vampirism . . . . . Eternal Youth, Religion, Vampires
Lesson #225 - Musical Genres, Part II . . . . . Mathematics, Music, Pop
Lesson #224 - Plants . . . . . Knives, Plants
Lesson #223 - Groundbreaking Developments . . . . . College, Pets, Professors, Science
Lesson #222 - Canadian Weather Systems . . . . . Al Roker, Provinces, Weather, Wrestling Names
Lesson #221 - Coffee First Dates . . . . . Coffee, Dating

Lesson #220 - Hyphenation
. . . . . Careers, Punctuation
Lesson #219 - Types of People . . . . . Life Philosophies
Lesson #218 - Skirts . . . . . College, Fashion, Women
Lesson #217 - Saints . . . . . Hope, Religion
Lesson #216 - Tinfoil Hats . . . . . Conspiracies, Paranoia, Science
Recitation #9 - Nuns (Or, A Comic In Four Panels) . . . . . Good Questions, Nuns, Religion, Shaving
Lesson #215 - Problem Solving . . . . . Pets, Problem Solving
Lesson #214 - College Break . . . . . College, Parents
Lesson #213 - Dead Maps . . . . . Conspiracies, Pilgrims, Politics, Zombies
Lesson #212 - Axioms . . . . . Axioms, Classics, Parenting
Lesson #211 - Bad Cocktail Ideas, Part II . . . . . Common Sense, Drinking, Recipes, Taste

Lesson #210 - Local News
. . . . . Career, Future, Success
Lesson #209 - Supernames . . . . . Creativity, Superheroes
Lesson #208 - Resolutions . . . . . Dieting, New Year, Revenge
Lesson #207 - New Year's Parties . . . . . Drinking, Parties, Thought Process
Lesson #206 - Romantic Movies . . . . . Cause and Effect, Movies, Relationships, Science
Lesson #205 - Bed Contentment . . . . . Happiness, Pets, Sleeping
Lesson #204 - Snowball Etiquette . . . . . Manners, Snow, Winter
Lesson #203 - Musical Repetition . . . . . Holidays, Music
Lesson #202 - Things You Hope To Never Say . . . . . . . . Food, Holidays, Pets
Lesson #201 - Christmas Truth . . . . . Holidays, Stories

Lesson #200 - Year In Review
. . . . . Holidays, Rhymes, Round Numbers
Lesson #199 - The True Meaning of Christmas Songs, Part II . . . . . Holidays, Music
Lesson #198 - The True Meaning of Christmas Songs, Part I . . . . . Holidays, Music
Lesson #197 - Moss . . . . . Axioms, Trees
Lesson #196 - Confusing Things . . . . . Food, Puzzles, Religion, Sports
Recitation #8 - Hot Dogs and Haggis . . . . . Food, Recipes
Lesson #195 - Exercising With Animals . . . . . Exercise, Pets
Lesson #194 - Raking . . . . . Landscaping, Snow
Lesson #193 - The Quality of Movies . . . . . Happiness, Movies
Lesson #192 - Stupid Ideas . . . . . Ideas, Pets, Stupidity
Lesson #191 - Explanation of DEFCON Status . . . . . Defense, War

Lesson #190 - Winter Driving
. . . . . Driving, Snow, Weather
Lesson #189 - Fertility Rate . . . . . Babies, Happiness, Life, Quadrant Graph
Lesson #188 - Creative Ideas . . . . . Brain Explosions, Ideas, Quadrant Graph
Lesson #187 - Break-Up Songs . . . . . Music, Quadrant Graph, Relationships
Lesson #186 - Final Exams . . . . . College, Drinking, Quadrant Graph
Lesson #185 - Presidential Nicknames . . . . . Famous Historical Figures, Nicknames, Politics, Quadrant Graph
Lesson #184 - Shoe Sizes . . . . . NBA, Shoes
Lesson #183 - Baby Names . . . . . Children, Classics, Names
Recitation #7 - Interruptions . . . . . Class, FPI, Janitors
Lesson #182 - Posture . . . . . Age, Posture, Rebels Without Causes
Lesson #181 - Hair Dye . . . . . Gravitas, Hair

Lesson #180 - Prescription Drugs
. . . . . Doctors, Drugs, Heroin
Lesson #179 - Eating Meat . . . . . Dieting, Food, Logic, Meat
Lesson #178 - Caffeine Tolerance . . . . . Children, Coffee
Lesson #177 - Mashed Potatoes . . . . . Food, Holidays, Potatoes
Lesson #176 - Thanksgiving Chemicals . . . . . Chemicals, Food, Holidays
Lesson #175 - Turkey . . . . . Food, Holidays, Lifestyles
Lesson #174 - Backseat Driving . . . . . Annoyances, Drivers, Elderly
Lesson #173 - Armageddon . . . . . Apocalypse, Insects
Lesson #172 - Weather . . . . . Axioms, Weather
Lesson #171 - Childhood Nostalgia, Part II . . . . . Cartoons, Future, Ninja Turtles

Lesson #170 - Cereal
. . . . . Breakfast
Recitation #6 - Hate Mail . . . . . Insults, Letters to the Editor
Lesson #169 - Rational Explanations of Irrational Phobias, Part III . . . . . Nudity, Phobias
Lesson #168 - First Drafts, Part II . . . . . Editing, Grapefruit, Shakespeare
Lesson #167 - The Bible . . . . . Hypocrisy, Menstruation, Politics, Religion
Lesson #166 - Smells . . . . . Aromas, Mornings
Lesson #165 - Multi-tasking . . . . . Attention, Biking, Internet
Lesson #164 - Sneakers . . . . . Footwear, Laundry
Recitation #5 - The Creative Process . . . . . Creativity, Cynicism
Lesson #163 - Sports Radio . . . . . Debate, Radio, Sports
Lesson #162 - Career Reading . . . . . Books, Careers, Music, Religion
Lesson #161 - Musical Genres . . . . . Mathematics, Music, Techno

Lesson #160 - First Drafts
. . . . . Editing, Shakespeare
Lesson #159 - Supplement Commercials . . . . . Television, Vitamins
Lesson #158 - Old Age . . . . . Aging
Lesson #157 - God and Man . . . . . Religion, Sexually Transmitted Diseases
Lesson #156 - Things You Never Hear . . ., Part II . . . . . Abuse of Power, Justice
Lesson #155 - Sandals . . . . . Awkward Stares, Footwear, Weather
Lesson #154 - Forms of Government . . . . . Politics, Vassals
Lesson #153 - Military Mascots . . . . . Mascots, Military, Pets, Soldiers
Lesson #152 - Sports vs. Love . . . . . Relationships, Sports
Lesson #151 - Autumn . . . . . Fall, Foliage

Lesson #150 - Halloween Superstitions
. . . . . Ghosts, Halloween, Superstitions
Lesson #149 - Zombie Politics . . . . . Halloween, Politics, Zombies
Lesson #148 - Halloween For Pets . . . . . Halloween, Pets
Lesson #147 - Childhood Nostalgia . . . . . Food, Monsters, Sesame Street
Lesson #146 - Sports Broadcasting . . . . . "Analysts", Silence Is Golden, Sports, Venn Diagrams
Lesson #145 - Fraternities . . . . . College, Drinking, Greek System, Sports Metaphors
Lesson #144 - Disaster Movies . . . . . Movies, Nature, Weather
Lesson #143 - Sports vs. Politics . . . . . Overwhelming Negativity, Politics, Sports
Lesson #142 - Sports vs. Religion . . . . . God, Religion, Sports
Lesson #141 - Constellations . . . . . The Ethereal Heavens, Society

Lesson #140 - Definitions, Part IV
. . . . . Hands, Monarchies
Lesson #139 - Singing Out Loud . . . . . Awkward Stares, Music, Satire, Society
Lesson #138 - The Professional World . . . . . Parenting, Sports Metaphors, Workplace
Lesson #137 - Anger On The Roadways . . . . . Biking, Famous Historical Figures, Road Rage
Lesson #136 - Time Travel . . . . . Science, Younger Self
Lesson #135 - Non-Violent Protests . . . . . Famous Historical Figures, Pie
Lesson #134 - Drinking Games . . . . . Age Appropriate, Alcohol, Hypocrisy, Politics
Lesson #133 - Artistic Rendering Of Philosophies: Nihilism . . . . . Philosophy
Lesson #132 - Twitter . . . . . Digital Announcements, Interpersonal Communication
Lesson #131 - Going Home . . . . . Being Oblivious, Home, Parents

Lesson #130 - Autographs
. . . . . Authors, Hockey
Lesson #129 - Bad Cocktail Ideas . . . . . Common Sense, Drinking, Recipes
Lesson #128 - Rational Explanations Of Irrational Phobias, Part II . . . . . Darkness, Phobias
Lesson #127 - Scientific Conferences . . . . . Conferences, Professors, Science, Students
Lesson #126 - Finding Religion . . . . . Religion, Sports
Lesson #125 - Writing . . . . . Authors, Career Paths
Lesson #124 - Historical Retrospective: The Roaring Twenties . . . . . Those Who Forget Their History Allow The Minor Details To Stay Forgotten
Lesson #123 - Tech Support . . . . . Computers, Internet
Lesson #122 - Morning Coffee . . . . . Coffee, Mornings
Lesson #121 - Rational Explanations Of Irrational Phobias, Part I . . . . . Heights, Phobias

Lesson #120 - "Magic" Tricks
. . . . . Bears, Magic
Lesson #119 - Definitions, Part III . . . . . Famous Historical Figures, Fighting Crap On The Internet, Politics
Lesson #118 - Pronunciation . . . . . Public Speaking
Lesson #117 - Voting . . . . . Elections, Politics
Lesson #116 - Award Shows . . . . . Celebrities, Flawed Life Philosophies
Recitation #4 - Base Of Operations . . . . . Fight Songs, FPI
Lesson #115 - Things You Never Hear . . ., Part I . . . . . Conversations, Religion
Lesson #114 - Dinner Conversations . . . . . Conversations, Politics, Religion
Lesson #113 - Athletic Apparel . . . . . Biking, Exercise, Incredibly Awkward Sights
Lesson #112 - Children Preparation . . . . . Children, Pets
Lesson #111 - Scientific Advancements . . . . . Energy, Medicine, Science

Lesson #110 - Natural Family Planning
. . . . . Children, Presentation Skills
Lesson #109 - Etymology: German . . . . . Etymology, Lawn Decoration, Vandalism
Lesson #108 - Guinness . . . . . Beer, Ireland, Science
Lesson #107 - Gyms . . . . . Dieting, Exercise, Gyms
Lesson #106 - Natural Bodily Processes . . . . . Mornings, Nature, Salad Accessories
Lesson #105 - The Freshmen Fifteen, Part XV . . . . . College, Dieting, Weight Gain
Lesson #104 - The Freshmen Fifteen, Part XIV . . . . . College, Life, Professors
Lesson #103 - The Freshmen Fifteen, Part XIII . . . . . College, Parties
Lesson #102 - The Freshmen Fifteen, Part XII . . . . . Beer, College, Germaphobia, Roommates
Lesson #101 - The Freshmen Fifteen, Part XI . . . . . College, Music

Lesson #100 - Re-reading
. . . . . Books, Classics, Finishing Touches
Lesson #99 - The Freshmen Fifteen, Part X . . . . . College, Sex
Lesson #98 - The Freshmen Fifteen, Part IX . . . . . Beer, College, Refrigerators
Lesson #97 - The Freshmen Fifteen, Part VIII . . . . . College, Food, Halfway Houses
Lesson #96 - The Freshmen Fifteen, Part VII . . . . . College, Professors
Lesson #95 - The Freshmen Fifteen, Part VI . . . . . College, Parties
Lesson #94 - The Freshmen Fifteen, Part V . . . . . College, Rodent Rebellions
Lesson #93 - The Freshmen Fifteen, Part IV . . . . . College, Food
Lesson #92 - The Freshmen Fifteen, Part III . . . . . College, Dorms, Temperature
Lesson #91 - The Freshmen Fifteen, Part II . . . . . College, Mornings, Showers

Lesson #90 - The Freshmen Fifteen, Part I
. . . . . Camp, College, Women
Lesson #89 - Monster Movies . . . . . Movies
Lesson #88 - Birthday Gifts . . . . . Birthdays, Gifts
Lesson #87 - Alien Observations And Interpretations Of Normal Human Activity . . . . . Aliens, Pets, Relationships
Lesson #86 - Biking . . . . . Biking, Signals, Unclean Language
Lesson #85 - Crosswords . . . . . Crosswords, Symmetry
Lesson #84 - Scurvy . . . . . College, Dieting, Pirates
Lesson #83 - Irish Diplomacy . . . . . Alcohol, Ireland
Lesson #82 - The Olympics . . . . . Sports, Television
Lesson #81 - Road Construction . . . . . Detours, Greek Mythology, Logic

Lesson #80 - Catharsis
. . . . . Awkward Stares, Primal Scream
Lesson #79 - Definitions, Part II . . . . . Food
Lesson #78 - Modern Art . . . . . Art, Critics
Lesson #77 - Seasonal Affective Disorder . . . . . Seasons, Weather
Lesson #76 - Work Ethic . . . . . Productivity, Work Ethic
Lesson #75 - Weathermen . . . . . Television, Weather
Recitation #3 - Flying . . . . . Airports, National Security
Lesson #74 - Time Zones . . . . . Time
Lesson #73 - Campaign Promises . . . . . Politics
Lesson #72 - Entrance Themes . . . . . Baseball, Music
Lesson #71 - Alternate Universes (An Attempted Two-Dimensional Rendering Of An Infinitely-Directional, Near-Incomprehensible Concept) . . . . . Alternate Realities, Music, Robots, Teeth, Vampires

Lesson #70 - Society And iRobot
. . . . . Chores, Pets, Robots
Lesson #69 - Political Correctness . . . . . Lifeitselfmanship, Society
Lesson #68 - Roommate Approval Process . . . . . Questionnaire, Roommates
Lesson #67 - Road Signs . . . . . Punctuation, Road Signs
Lesson #66 - Germaphobes And Their Pets . . . . . Germaphobia, Pets
Lesson #65 - Long-Distance Relationships . . . . . Foot-In-Mouth Syndrome, Relationships
Lesson #64 - Newlyweds . . . . . Marriage, Relationships
Lesson #63 - Drivers . . . . . Common Sense, Driving
Lesson #62 - Music On The Radio . . . . . Flow Chart, Genres, Music, Radio
Lesson #61 - Children . . . . . Children, Men, Thought Process

Lesson #60 - Web Domains
. . . . . Why Fighting Crap On The Internet Is Hard, Self-Promotion
Lesson #59 - Annoying Strangers . . . . . Forrest Gump, Running
Lesson #58 - Experience . . . . . Life, Trust
Lesson #57 - Subjectivity . . . . . Math, Stephen Hawking, Subjectivity
Lesson #56 - Discrimination . . . . . Diversity, Future, Society
Lesson #55 - Scientific Love . . . . . College, Engineering, Romance
Lesson #54 - Nicknames . . . . . Bell Curve, Roommates
Lesson #53 - What Will Happen If Literalists Take Over The World (Why We Should Watch Them Closely), Part III . . . . . Careers, Food, Literalists, Recipes
Lesson #52 - Conversations . . . . . Interests, Science
Lesson #51 - Definitions, Part I . . . . . Architecture

Lesson #50 - Laundry
. . . . . Pasta, Socks
Lesson #49 - News Networks . . . . . Color Chalk, Objectivity, Politics, Pundits, Television
Lesson #48 - The Top Ten . . . . . Future, Lifetime, Moments
Lesson #47 - Perspectives . . . . . Exhaustion, Marathons, Politics, Vagrants
Lesson #46 - Global Powers . . . . . Countries, Superheroes
Lesson #45 - What Will Happen If Literalists Take Over The World (Why We Should Watch Them Closely), Part II . . . . . Alaska, Food, Literalists, Recipes
Lesson #44 - Board Games . . . . . Board Games, Pop Culture
Lesson #43 - Assistants . . . . . Flow Chart, Work Ethic
Lesson #42 - Aging . . . . . Age, Music
Lesson #41 - Pedestrians . . . . . Conversations, Traffic, Walking
Recitation #2 - Answering "Why We Are Here" . . . . . Baked Goods, The French

Lesson #40 - What Will Happen If Literalists Take Over The World (Why We Should Watch Them Closely)
. . . . . Catapults, Food, Literalists, Recipes
Lesson #39 - All-Star Games . . . . . Baseball, Fandom, Television
Lesson #38 - Bar Arguments . . . . . Bar Arguments, Twilight Zone, Zombies
Lesson #37 - Religious Origins . . . . . Catholicism, NBA
Lesson #36 - Weddings . . . . . Pets, Weddings
Lesson #35 - Little Girls . . . . . Nursery Rhymes, Spices
Lesson #34 - Fireworks . . . . . Bell Curve, Celebrations
Lesson #33 - Justice . . . . . Justice
Lesson #32 - College Choosing, Part II . . . . . College, Science
Lesson #31 - Teleporation . . . . . Politics, Science

Lesson #30 - Egocentricity
. . . . . Ego, Tokyo
Lesson #29 - Civil Unions . . . . . Homosexuality, Marriage, Platypi
Lesson #28 - Upbringing . . . . . Childhood, Parents
Recitation #1 - Answering "Why" . . . . . Comedy
Lesson #27 - Mornings . . . . . Fear, Pets, Radio
Lesson #26 - Laboratory Safety . . . . . Fashion, Safety
Lesson #25 - Carpe Diem . . . . . Future, NBA, Politics
Lesson #24 - Song Lyrics . . . . . Irony, Lyrics
Lesson #23 - Bounds of Friendship . . . . . Friends, Jellyfish
Lesson #22 - Relationship Curve . . . . . Bell Curve, Relationships
Lesson #21 - Future Career . . . . . Career, School

Lesson #20 - Minority Status
. . . . . East Coast Bias, Minorities, Science
Lesson #19 - Camp . . . . . Camp
Lesson #18 - Two-Timing . . . . . Happiness, Relationships
Lesson #17 - The President . . . . . Diversity, Politics, Zombies
Lesson #16 - Vegetarians . . . . . Dieting, Vegetarians
Lesson #15 - Family Movies . . . . . Movies, Parenting
Lesson #14 - Friendship . . . . . Friends, Sex
Lesson #13 - Anti-drugs . . . . . Drugs, Pets
Lesson #12 - Sleepwalking . . . . . Sex
Lesson #11 - College Choosing, Part I . . . . . College

Lesson #10 - Politics . . . . . Children, Politics
Lesson #9 - Decisions . . . . . Life, Logic
Lesson #8 - Grammar . . . . . Grammar, Society
Lesson #7 - College Location . . . . . College, Family
Lesson #6 - Marriage . . . . . Romance
Lesson #5 - Fame . . . . . Career, Future, Success
Lesson #4 - Compromising . . . . . Pets, Relationships
Lesson #3 - College Majors . . . . . College, Future
Lesson #2 - Dieting . . . . . Dieting
Lesson #1 - Best Times . . . . . High School, Life