All of these things are confusing. Is it really safe for the universe to be founded on foam? Who thinks Keanu can act? Why do policemen like donuts so much? How is the concept of potentially living forever NOT terrifying? How the hell do you start a cryptic crossword? If so many potential new TV shows are prepared each year, how come we always only end up getting the bad ones? Who decided kabaddi had the potential to be popular? What inspired the Germans to invent Hawaiian pizza? Of all the conspiracies in the world, how did any followers flock to the lizard people theory?

No, we're not high.